Posted: 4/29/2003 4:04:21 PM EDT
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WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapour lock) WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY? (they don't have enough time) WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS? (because they don't have penises to put them in) WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON? (they're intended for children, but men usually play with them) WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE? (it is sex with someone they love) WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties) WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE? (so he can tell if he's coming or going) |
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I would sign up for a few of these: CLASSES FOR MEN AVAILABLE NOW AT YOUR LOCAL ADULT LEARNING CENTER Please Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level, each course will accept maximum of 8 participants. Topic 1 - HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAY. Step by Step, With Slide Presentation. Topic 2 - TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDER? Round Table Discussion. Topic 3 - IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE BY LIFTING THE SEAT AND AVOID SPLASHING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB? Group Practice. Topic 4 - FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR. Features Pictures and Explanatory Graphics Topic 5 - DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE SINK? Examples on Video. Topic 6 - IDENTITY CRISIS: LOSING THE REMOTE TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Help Line Support And Support Groups. Topic 7 - LEARNING TO FIND THINGS: LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING. Open Forum. Topic 8 - HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH. Graphics And Audio Tape. Topic 9 - REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. REAL LIFE TESTIMONIALS. (May be deleted due to unavailability of men able to give testimonials) Topic 10 - IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving Stimulation. Topic 11 - LEARNING ABOUT LIFE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MOTHER AND WIFE. Online Class and Role Playing. Topic 12 - HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Topic 13 - HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES, CALLING WHEN YOU'RE LATE OR GOING TO BE LATE AND MORE! Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions. |
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Quoted: Topic 3 - IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE BY LIFTING THE SEAT AND AVOID SPLASHING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB? THAT'S NOT MY FAULT!!! Sometimes that little S.O.B. has a mind of it's own! Topic 4 - FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR. That's an urban myth. Topic 7 - LEARNING TO FIND THINGS: LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING. If you don't do this you won't find anything. The bigger the ass you make of yourself the faster you find what you're looking for, everyone knows that! Topic 12 - HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. Does this tell you how to locate the elusive department store bench? |