[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Apparently being quiet = prude (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 10/22/2015 8:58:08 AM EDT
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I recall back in my school days when I was quite shy that this was the typical consensus, especially from women. If you were shy and slow to speak to them and mostly listened you were deemed prude and stuck up, more being of the latter. Didn't matter if you explained yourself, they were set in that view point.
As much as they say there is wisdom in silence, observing instead of running your mouth like a fool today seems to still easily garner a lot of judgment and labeling in being quiet and reserved to speak even in the business environment. Discuss. |
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Silence makes the majority of people uncomfortable. Rather than admit they have an issue with it, it's easier for them to say you have something wrong.
It's amazing how much people will say when sitting at a table watching me get ready to interview them. I almost never start the convo......they feel like they HAVE to talk. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Silence makes the majority of people uncomfortable. Rather than admit they have an issue with it, it's easier for them to say you have something wrong. It's amazing how much people will say when sitting at a table watching me get ready to interview them. I almost never start the convo......they fell like they HAVE to talk. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile There's a difference between being somewhat shy as I can relate to the OP's stance and deliberately putting someone on the spot. Sounds like a great place to work. |
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There's a difference between being somewhat shy as I can relate to the OP's stance and deliberately putting someone on the spot. Sounds like a great place to work. Quoted:
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Silence makes the majority of people uncomfortable. Rather than admit they have an issue with it, it's easier for them to say you have something wrong. It's amazing how much people will say when sitting at a table watching me get ready to interview them. I almost never start the convo......they fell like they HAVE to talk. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile There's a difference between being somewhat shy as I can relate to the OP's stance and deliberately putting someone on the spot. Sounds like a great place to work. Tis' my job homey! They are being interviewed because someone has alleged they violated various laws. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Tis' my job homey! They are being interviewed because someone has alleged they violated various laws. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Quoted:
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Silence makes the majority of people uncomfortable. Rather than admit they have an issue with it, it's easier for them to say you have something wrong. It's amazing how much people will say when sitting at a table watching me get ready to interview them. I almost never start the convo......they fell like they HAVE to talk. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile There's a difference between being somewhat shy as I can relate to the OP's stance and deliberately putting someone on the spot. Sounds like a great place to work. Tis' my job homey! They are being interviewed because someone has alleged they violated various laws. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I see. You made it sound like it was job interviews. I miss read it. In that case if I were on the hot seat, it would be a staring contest for quite some time. |
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I see. You made it sound like it was job interviews. I miss read it. In that case if I were on the hot seat, it would be a staring contest for quite some time. Quoted:
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Silence makes the majority of people uncomfortable. Rather than admit they have an issue with it, it's easier for them to say you have something wrong. It's amazing how much people will say when sitting at a table watching me get ready to interview them. I almost never start the convo......they fell like they HAVE to talk. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile There's a difference between being somewhat shy as I can relate to the OP's stance and deliberately putting someone on the spot. Sounds like a great place to work. Tis' my job homey! They are being interviewed because someone has alleged they violated various laws. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I see. You made it sound like it was job interviews. I miss read it. In that case if I were on the hot seat, it would be a staring contest for quite some time. That's the the thing that has always amazed me. The majority of people fall into 1 of 2 categories.....they either believe they are smart enough to talk their way out of it, or the guilt is eating them up and they had to get it off of their chest. The other category is where the sociopaths and professionals reside. They won't say a damn thing. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Quoted: Tis' my job homey! They are being interviewed because someone has alleged they violated various laws. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Silence makes the majority of people uncomfortable. Rather than admit they have an issue with it, it's easier for them to say you have something wrong. It's amazing how much people will say when sitting at a table watching me get ready to interview them. I almost never start the convo......they fell like they HAVE to talk. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile There's a difference between being somewhat shy as I can relate to the OP's stance and deliberately putting someone on the spot. Sounds like a great place to work. Tis' my job homey! They are being interviewed because someone has alleged they violated various laws. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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I have nothing in common with the folks I work with. As a result, I'm quiet and don't socialize with them. Care to guess who isn't a "team player"? Same here. I mostly just listen. I feel that I don't have to talk if I don't need to, I prefer the silence sometimes. |
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That's the the thing that has always amazed me. The majority of people fall into 1 of 2 categories.....they either believe they are smart enough to talk their way out of it, or the guilt is eating them up and they had to get it off of their chest. The other category is where the sociopaths and professionals reside. They won't say a damn thing. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Quoted:
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Silence makes the majority of people uncomfortable. Rather than admit they have an issue with it, it's easier for them to say you have something wrong. It's amazing how much people will say when sitting at a table watching me get ready to interview them. I almost never start the convo......they fell like they HAVE to talk. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile There's a difference between being somewhat shy as I can relate to the OP's stance and deliberately putting someone on the spot. Sounds like a great place to work. Tis' my job homey! They are being interviewed because someone has alleged they violated various laws. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I see. You made it sound like it was job interviews. I miss read it. In that case if I were on the hot seat, it would be a staring contest for quite some time. That's the the thing that has always amazed me. The majority of people fall into 1 of 2 categories.....they either believe they are smart enough to talk their way out of it, or the guilt is eating them up and they had to get it off of their chest. The other category is where the sociopaths and professionals reside. They won't say a damn thing. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile 
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I recall back in my school days when I was quite shy that this was the typical consensus, especially from women. If you were shy and slow to speak to them and mostly listened you were deemed prude. Didn't matter if you explained yourself, they were set in their false judgements. As much as they say there is wisdom in silence, observing instead of running your mouth like a fool today seems to still easily garner a lot of judgment and labeling in being quiet and reserved to speak even in the business environment. Discuss. You dont have to run your mouth like a fool to speak your mind. It doesnt matter if you are the smartest person in the world if you sit in the corner and dont share that intelligence with people. You might as well be the village retard - you provide the same value. So if you wonder why people that speak up seem to get ahead, its because they allow others to gain from their prospective. Thats my opinion anyway. |
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You dont have to run your mouth like a fool to speak your mind. It doesnt matter if you are the smartest person in the world if you sit in the corner and dont share that intelligence with people. You might as well be the village retard - you provide the same value. So if you wonder why people that speak up seem to get ahead, its because they allow others to gain from their prospective. Thats my opinion anyway. Quoted:
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I recall back in my school days when I was quite shy that this was the typical consensus, especially from women. If you were shy and slow to speak to them and mostly listened you were deemed prude. Didn't matter if you explained yourself, they were set in their false judgements. As much as they say there is wisdom in silence, observing instead of running your mouth like a fool today seems to still easily garner a lot of judgment and labeling in being quiet and reserved to speak even in the business environment. Discuss. You dont have to run your mouth like a fool to speak your mind. It doesnt matter if you are the smartest person in the world if you sit in the corner and dont share that intelligence with people. You might as well be the village retard - you provide the same value. So if you wonder why people that speak up seem to get ahead, its because they allow others to gain from their prospective. Thats my opinion anyway. That's not, what I'm referring to. I speak up when I have something to offer that is not on the table, and when I do people stop to listen instead of continually interrupting each other like they do the rest of the meeting. I don't take myself to be the smartest, merely more observant and analytical thinking before speaking. |
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That's not, what I'm referring to. I speak up when I have something to offer that is not on the table, and when I do people stop to listen instead of continually interrupting each other like they do the rest of the meeting. I don't take myself to be the smartest, merely more observant and analytical thinking before speaking. Quoted:
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I recall back in my school days when I was quite shy that this was the typical consensus, especially from women. If you were shy and slow to speak to them and mostly listened you were deemed prude. Didn't matter if you explained yourself, they were set in their false judgements. As much as they say there is wisdom in silence, observing instead of running your mouth like a fool today seems to still easily garner a lot of judgment and labeling in being quiet and reserved to speak even in the business environment. Discuss. You dont have to run your mouth like a fool to speak your mind. It doesnt matter if you are the smartest person in the world if you sit in the corner and dont share that intelligence with people. You might as well be the village retard - you provide the same value. So if you wonder why people that speak up seem to get ahead, its because they allow others to gain from their prospective. Thats my opinion anyway. That's not, what I'm referring to. I speak up when I have something to offer that is not on the table, and when I do people stop to listen instead of continually interrupting each other like they do the rest of the meeting. I don't take myself to be the smartest, merely more observant and analytical thinking before speaking. Well then dont worry about it. If what you say is true and people stop talking when you speak up, you are a leader anyway. |
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I recall back in my school days when I was quite shy that this was the typical consensus, especially from women. If you were shy and slow to speak to them and mostly listened you were deemed prude. Didn't matter if you explained yourself, they were set in their false judgements. As much as they say there is wisdom in silence, observing instead of running your mouth like a fool today seems to still easily garner a lot of judgment and labeling in being quiet and reserved to speak even in the business environment. Discuss. I'm sorry the baggage from your school days weighs so heavily on you. |
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I'm sorry the baggage from your school days weighs so heavily on you. Quoted:
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I recall back in my school days when I was quite shy that this was the typical consensus, especially from women. If you were shy and slow to speak to them and mostly listened you were deemed prude. Didn't matter if you explained yourself, they were set in their false judgements. As much as they say there is wisdom in silence, observing instead of running your mouth like a fool today seems to still easily garner a lot of judgment and labeling in being quiet and reserved to speak even in the business environment. Discuss. I'm sorry the baggage from your school days weighs so heavily on you. 
I love GD. But let's stick to the point of the thread which is to discuss different views on it |
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I don't think women think any guys are prude. A prude guy is like a jumbo shrimp an oxymoron and I emphasize moron. Most guys will do as much or a bit more than a woman will let him.
Women on the other hand can be prude. Some chicks don't give bj s regularly and if you get them to it s like a 1 year old rottie getting after a chew toy...not good. If you re quiet and don't talk to women you come off as a coward, afraid of your own shadow, social retard or perhaps gay. |
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That's the the thing that has always amazed me. The majority of people fall into 1 of 2 categories.....they either believe they are smart enough to talk their way out of it, or the guilt is eating them up and they had to get it off of their chest. The other category is where the sociopaths and professionals reside. They won't say a damn thing. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Quoted:
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Silence makes the majority of people uncomfortable. Rather than admit they have an issue with it, it's easier for them to say you have something wrong. It's amazing how much people will say when sitting at a table watching me get ready to interview them. I almost never start the convo......they fell like they HAVE to talk. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile There's a difference between being somewhat shy as I can relate to the OP's stance and deliberately putting someone on the spot. Sounds like a great place to work. Tis' my job homey! They are being interviewed because someone has alleged they violated various laws. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile I see. You made it sound like it was job interviews. I miss read it. In that case if I were on the hot seat, it would be a staring contest for quite some time. That's the the thing that has always amazed me. The majority of people fall into 1 of 2 categories.....they either believe they are smart enough to talk their way out of it, or the guilt is eating them up and they had to get it off of their chest. The other category is where the sociopaths and professionals reside. They won't say a damn thing. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile What about the not guilty ones? (Legal sense, not Arfcom sense.) |
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Someone once told me that they noticed I didn't say much unless I had something to say. I took it as a compliment and wished more people lived by this.
Either I cannot identify with the topic at hand or people seem like they are blathering just to hear themselves. I'm polite and listen but if I don't have anything to contribute I don't. As a result I am considered anti-social, a loner, not a team player and generally just a jerk. It doesn't help that I have a severe case of Resting Asshole Face 
The thing is once people get to know me they find out I'm an alright guy, but the rest can't stop talking long enough to listen. LL |
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Oh back then, I'm not debating that at all. However, the response from women was the former. Point of the thread is to understand the reasoning as to why it's judged as such. Quoted:
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prude? no, you were deemed socially awkward to whatever extent. Oh back then, I'm not debating that at all. However, the response from women was the former. Point of the thread is to understand the reasoning as to why it's judged as such. they were actually trying to be nice. instead of straight up calling you a freaking wierdo, they use the lesser-offensive word "prude" |
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I have nothing in common with the folks I work with. As a result, I'm quiet and don't socialize with them. Care to guess who isn't a "team player"? Been there, done that....I got tired of being the designated Adult, so i just stopped socializing with them. It didnt help that I had pretty much ZERO common Interests with anyone. Im not a sports fan, I read a lot on different subjects, and so on and so on. the only time I really see anyone other than my old partner is every other year or so when I go to the Retirement dinners. |
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Someone once told me that they noticed I didn't say much unless I had something to say. I took it as a compliment and wished more people lived by this. Either I cannot identify with the topic at hand or people seem like they are blathering just to hear themselves. I'm polite and listen but if I don't have anything to contribute I don't. As a result I am considered anti-social, a loner, not a team player and generally just a jerk. It doesn't help that I have a severe case of Resting Asshole Face
The thing is once people get to know me they find out I'm an alright guy, but the rest can't stop talking long enough to listen. LL 
My experience has being polite when talked to and saying hello while not trying to go beyond establishing a closer connection and other than that unless they are involved directly in my project over time results in avoidance and stiff response when greeting them. I was guilty in my youth of the same in bold above, even had an RA tell me why I never smiled and stated this was my normal expression. I suppose having a beard doesn't help as it hides most of the facial expressions unless I smile enough to show the wrinkles and my cheek turning red like Santa to show I am actually smiling. |
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they were actually trying to be nice. instead of straight up calling you a freaking wierdo, they use the lesser-offensive word "prude" Quoted:
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prude? no, you were deemed socially awkward to whatever extent. Oh back then, I'm not debating that at all. However, the response from women was the former. Point of the thread is to understand the reasoning as to why it's judged as such. they were actually trying to be nice. instead of straight up calling you a freaking wierdo, they use the lesser-offensive word "prude" Fair enough 
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Oh back then, I'm not debating that at all. However, the response from women was the former. Point of the thread is to understand the reasoning as to why it's judged as such. Quoted:
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prude? no, you were deemed socially awkward to whatever extent. Oh back then, I'm not debating that at all. However, the response from women was the former. Point of the thread is to understand the reasoning as to why it's judged as such. They meant reserved. Used the wrong word. There's nothing more to it. You're over-thinking it. |
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They meant reserved. Used the wrong word. There's nothing more to it. You're over-thinking it. Quoted:
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prude? no, you were deemed socially awkward to whatever extent. Oh back then, I'm not debating that at all. However, the response from women was the former. Point of the thread is to understand the reasoning as to why it's judged as such. They meant reserved. Used the wrong word. There's nothing more to it. You're over-thinking it. Actually I'm not thinking on it anymore than the question itself at all hence the thread's purpose of creation for discussion on different view points |
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Better to hold your thoughts and be thought a fool then to open your mouth and prove them right.
Silence is golden Discretion is the better part of valor Proverbs 17:28 ESV / 235 helpful votes Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. Exodus 14:14 ESV / 220 helpful votes The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Proverbs 11:12 ESV / 185 helpful votes Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. James 1:19 ESV / 176 helpful votes Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; Proverbs 29:11 ESV / 132 helpful votes A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. Job 6:24 ESV / 124 helpful votes “Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray. Psalm 4:4 ESV / 119 helpful votes Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 ESV / 114 helpful votes And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. 1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV / 88 helpful votes Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. Proverbs 10:8 ESV / 86 helpful votes The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin. Lamentations 3:26 ESV / 81 helpful votes It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Psalm 46:10 ESV / 65 helpful votes “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Proverbs 18:13 ESV / 59 helpful votes If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. James 3:1-18 ESV / 58 helpful votes Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ... Psalm 37:7 ESV / 55 helpful votes Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Proverbs 13:3 ESV / 42 helpful votes Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. Isaiah 26:3 ESV / 39 helpful votes You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Psalm 35:20 ESV / 39 helpful votes For they do not speak peace, but against those who are quiet in the land they devise words of deceit. Colossians 4:5-6 ESV / 32 helpful votes Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Ephesians 4:29 ESV / 32 helpful votes Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Isaiah 30:15 ESV / 32 helpful votes For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling, Amos 5:13 ESV / 30 helpful votes Therefore he who is prudent will keep silent in such a time, for it is an evil time. Proverbs 10:19 ESV / 30 helpful votes When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. Proverbs 13:10 ESV / 27 helpful votes By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom. 1 Kings 19:11-12 ESV / 25 helpful votes And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. Job 2:13 ESV / 22 helpful votes And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great. Job 13:5 ESV / 20 helpful votes Oh that you would keep silent, and it would be your wisdom! Psalm 22:23 ESV / 19 helpful votes You who fear the Lord, praise him! All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him, and stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel! Ecclesiastes 3:1-22 ESV / 13 helpful votes For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; ... Proverbs 12:23 ESV / 11 helpful votes A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims folly. Isaiah 1:1-31 ESV / 9 helpful votes The vision of Isaiah the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah. Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth; for the Lord has spoken: “Children have I reared and brought up, but they have rebelled against me. The ox knows its owner, and the donkey its master's crib, but Israel does not know, my people do not understand.” Ah, sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, offspring of evildoers, children who deal corruptly! They have forsaken the Lord, they have despised the Holy One of Israel, they are utterly estranged. Why will you still be struck down? Why will you continue to rebel? The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. ... Psalm 131:1-3 ESV / 8 helpful votes A Song of Ascents. Of David. O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. Ecclesiastes 5:1 ESV / 7 helpful votes Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil. Proverbs 17:1 ESV / 5 helpful votes Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife. Psalm 150:4-6 ESV / 4 helpful votes Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! 1 Timothy 2:9 ESV / 3 helpful votes Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, |
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I love GD. But let's stick to the point of the thread which is to discuss different views on it Quoted:
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I recall back in my school days when I was quite shy that this was the typical consensus, especially from women. If you were shy and slow to speak to them and mostly listened you were deemed prude. Didn't matter if you explained yourself, they were set in their false judgements. As much as they say there is wisdom in silence, observing instead of running your mouth like a fool today seems to still easily garner a lot of judgment and labeling in being quiet and reserved to speak even in the business environment. Discuss. I'm sorry the baggage from your school days weighs so heavily on you.
I love GD. But let's stick to the point of the thread which is to discuss different views on it Your sentence makes no sense, but I'll assume the question is whether or not women think you're a "prude" for being a quiet person. First, "prude" is the wrong word, either by the person telling the story, or by the girl. I also think you're misjudging the situation. Quiet =/= prude. It's not about being "quiet," it's about being able to interact with others, and being confident and intelligent. IME is that women do not have an issue with quiet men, but with men who cannot perform in a social situation. My grandfather was "quiet," but when he spoke, people would usually listen, knowing the few words he said were usually very insightful. Even being quiet, he managed to land the local beauty queen, so it worked out okay for him. He also had no problems interacting on a social level, when the situation called for it, but he preferred to observe more than blab. I seriously doubt this has changed. I know plenty of "quiet" people that have no problems picking up women, because they have the skill set to interact with others, and they're confident. The ones that don't have the skill set to interact with others, and/or are insecure, fall into more of an "antisocial" or "socially awkward" category. So, work on your ability to interact socially. There's nothing wrong with being quiet, but you have to be able to interact, and you have to know that there are times to engage other people, especially women, in conversation. For some, this comes naturally. For others, you have to work on it, but it can be learned, like most other things. |
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I have nothing in common with the folks I work with. As a result, I'm quiet and don't socialize with them. Care to guess who isn't a "team player"? Well, you are deficient in the small talk portion of being a team player. If it's a part of your job to develop cordial relations quickly with your teammates, then you're less good at your job than a guy who would talk about the weather, all other things being equal. I see BS time wasting small talk as part of my job. Part of my personal branding as a well-adjusted people person. While they show me pics of their kids, I go to my happy place in my mind and wonder about the art I could make with Channing Tatum's pancreas and if it would be prettier than Tom Arnold's. I don't want people to think I'm weird, it's bad for promotions and stuff. |
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Well, you are deficient in the small talk portion of being a team player. If it's a part of your job to develop cordial relations quickly with your teammates, then you're less good at your job than a guy who would talk about the weather, all other things being equal. I see BS time wasting small talk as part of my job. Part of my personal branding as a well-adjusted people person. While they show me pics of their kids, I go to my happy place in my mind and wonder about the art I could make with Channing Tatum's pancreas and if it would be prettier than Tom Arnold's. I don't want people to think I'm weird, it's bad for promotions and stuff. Quoted:
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I have nothing in common with the folks I work with. As a result, I'm quiet and don't socialize with them. Care to guess who isn't a "team player"? Well, you are deficient in the small talk portion of being a team player. If it's a part of your job to develop cordial relations quickly with your teammates, then you're less good at your job than a guy who would talk about the weather, all other things being equal. I see BS time wasting small talk as part of my job. Part of my personal branding as a well-adjusted people person. While they show me pics of their kids, I go to my happy place in my mind and wonder about the art I could make with Channing Tatum's pancreas and if it would be prettier than Tom Arnold's. I don't want people to think I'm weird, it's bad for promotions and stuff. WTF? |
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I don't think "prude" is the word OP is looking for. A prude is someone who is sexually repressed, or has old-fashioned standards. Merely being shy or quiet doesn't imply this. Yeah, that seemed off to me as well. I'm pretty quiet, but I'm certainly not a prude. |
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WTF? Quoted:
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I have nothing in common with the folks I work with. As a result, I'm quiet and don't socialize with them. Care to guess who isn't a "team player"? Well, you are deficient in the small talk portion of being a team player. If it's a part of your job to develop cordial relations quickly with your teammates, then you're less good at your job than a guy who would talk about the weather, all other things being equal. I see BS time wasting small talk as part of my job. Part of my personal branding as a well-adjusted people person. While they show me pics of their kids, I go to my happy place in my mind and wonder about the art I could make with Channing Tatum's pancreas and if it would be prettier than Tom Arnold's. I don't want people to think I'm weird, it's bad for promotions and stuff. WTF? I'm just kidding. I don't find him attractive, I usually just focus on the person talking to me. |
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I'm just kidding. I don't find him attractive, I usually just focus on the person talking to me. Quoted:
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I have nothing in common with the folks I work with. As a result, I'm quiet and don't socialize with them. Care to guess who isn't a "team player"? Well, you are deficient in the small talk portion of being a team player. If it's a part of your job to develop cordial relations quickly with your teammates, then you're less good at your job than a guy who would talk about the weather, all other things being equal. I see BS time wasting small talk as part of my job. Part of my personal branding as a well-adjusted people person. While they show me pics of their kids, I go to my happy place in my mind and wonder about the art I could make with Channing Tatum's pancreas and if it would be prettier than Tom Arnold's. I don't want people to think I'm weird, it's bad for promotions and stuff. WTF? I'm just kidding. I don't find him attractive, I usually just focus on the person talking to me. I was more concerned with your desire to make art out of people's organs. 
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Actually I'm not thinking on it anymore than the question itself at all hence the thread's purpose of creation for discussion on different view points Quoted:
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prude? no, you were deemed socially awkward to whatever extent. Oh back then, I'm not debating that at all. However, the response from women was the former. Point of the thread is to understand the reasoning as to why it's judged as such. They meant reserved. Used the wrong word. There's nothing more to it. You're over-thinking it. Actually I'm not thinking on it anymore than the question itself at all hence the thread's purpose of creation for discussion on different view points The question itself is over-thinking it. You came off as stand offish at best and more likely fucking weird. They were trying to spare your feelings or not come off as bitches picking on the weird kid. You'd be better off learning to act normal and make small talk than overthinking things. It's good to be able to blend in if you choose to. Being different doesn't make you superior to the normals. Being able to at least fake normal is a big advantage in life. |
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I was more concerned with your desire to make art out of people's organs.
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I have nothing in common with the folks I work with. As a result, I'm quiet and don't socialize with them. Care to guess who isn't a "team player"? Well, you are deficient in the small talk portion of being a team player. If it's a part of your job to develop cordial relations quickly with your teammates, then you're less good at your job than a guy who would talk about the weather, all other things being equal. I see BS time wasting small talk as part of my job. Part of my personal branding as a well-adjusted people person. While they show me pics of their kids, I go to my happy place in my mind and wonder about the art I could make with Channing Tatum's pancreas and if it would be prettier than Tom Arnold's. I don't want people to think I'm weird, it's bad for promotions and stuff. WTF? I'm just kidding. I don't find him attractive, I usually just focus on the person talking to me. I was more concerned with your desire to make art out of people's organs.
It's how I manage to stay awake while chatting. Imagining pealing back the layers of flesh. How they would look exposed like an anatomy textbook, but wet and in person, still talking about their weekend plans. Kind of like picturing them naked, but much more interesting and not as hairy. |
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For me it had a completely opposite effect. I wasn't the center of attention at the party, or the club, and just kind of held back. In fact I think I've intentionally approached maybe five women in public. They always approached me. In fact it almost like a magnet. I never peacoked, not even a little, chicks just couldn't resist that I wasn't fighting for their attention and had to talk to me. Once the door was open, I always stayed relaxed , polite, payed attention too, and participated in what they were talking about. I got more tang than a Russian space station. I don't recall anyone ever referring to me as prude. I never felt the need to broadcast machismo and it worked like a charm.
I was not however, weird, creepy, afraid of eye contact, stupid, had awkward body language , or ugly. So that may have helped |
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Your sentence makes no sense, but I'll assume the question is whether or not women think you're a "prude" for being a quiet person. First, "prude" is the wrong word, either by the person telling the story, or by the girl. I also think you're misjudging the situation. Quiet =/= prude. It's not about being "quiet," it's about being able to interact with others, and being confident and intelligent. IME is that women do not have an issue with quiet men, but with men who cannot perform in a social situation. My grandfather was "quiet," but when he spoke, people would usually listen, knowing the few words he said were usually very insightful. Even being quiet, he managed to land the local beauty queen, so it worked out okay for him. He also had no problems interacting on a social level, when the situation called for it, but he preferred to observe more than blab. I seriously doubt this has changed. I know plenty of "quiet" people that have no problems picking up women, because they have the skill set to interact with others, and they're confident. The ones that don't have the skill set to interact with others, and/or are insecure, fall into more of an "antisocial" or "socially awkward" category. So, work on your ability to interact socially. There's nothing wrong with being quiet, but you have to be able to interact, and you have to know that there are times to engage other people, especially women, in conversation. For some, this comes naturally. For others, you have to work on it, but it can be learned, like most other things. Quoted:
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I recall back in my school days when I was quite shy that this was the typical consensus, especially from women. If you were shy and slow to speak to them and mostly listened you were deemed prude. Didn't matter if you explained yourself, they were set in their false judgements. As much as they say there is wisdom in silence, observing instead of running your mouth like a fool today seems to still easily garner a lot of judgment and labeling in being quiet and reserved to speak even in the business environment. Discuss. I'm sorry the baggage from your school days weighs so heavily on you.
I love GD. But let's stick to the point of the thread which is to discuss different views on it Your sentence makes no sense, but I'll assume the question is whether or not women think you're a "prude" for being a quiet person. First, "prude" is the wrong word, either by the person telling the story, or by the girl. I also think you're misjudging the situation. Quiet =/= prude. It's not about being "quiet," it's about being able to interact with others, and being confident and intelligent. IME is that women do not have an issue with quiet men, but with men who cannot perform in a social situation. My grandfather was "quiet," but when he spoke, people would usually listen, knowing the few words he said were usually very insightful. Even being quiet, he managed to land the local beauty queen, so it worked out okay for him. He also had no problems interacting on a social level, when the situation called for it, but he preferred to observe more than blab. I seriously doubt this has changed. I know plenty of "quiet" people that have no problems picking up women, because they have the skill set to interact with others, and they're confident. The ones that don't have the skill set to interact with others, and/or are insecure, fall into more of an "antisocial" or "socially awkward" category. So, work on your ability to interact socially. There's nothing wrong with being quiet, but you have to be able to interact, and you have to know that there are times to engage other people, especially women, in conversation. For some, this comes naturally. For others, you have to work on it, but it can be learned, like most other things. Not sure what from the sentence doesn't make any sense to you but thanks for this time giving an actual view on the topic. Key word however as I mentioned in the OP, "was". |