Posted: 10/18/2015 1:16:09 PM EDT
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Hey guys,
I am an Iraq Veteran who is questioning his odd behavior. I took my wife of seven years to a NBA exhibition game last night for her birthday (she loves sports) and I think she has come to a realization of how uncomfortable crowds make me. I just can't enjoy being around that many people and it makes it worse to be unarmed. I have a few other weird quirks like, I have to sleep on the couch where I feel I can monitor the doors and the same for when we eat out. I just want to see everything. I use to be weird over fireworks but I have gotten over that. I have never revealed these things to the VA because I don't wish to be labeled with mental illness or losing my weapons. Other than that I am fine. I just want to be able to enjoy our times out together. Any advice? |
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I am thinking about you and hope someone here is qualified to help.
I am not qualified to help but if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to PM me. Hang in there, i think those feelings are normal, I have some of the same feelings and I have not served in the military. |
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Quoted:
Hey guys, I am an Iraq Veteran who is questioning his odd behavior. I took my wife of seven years to a NBA exhibition game last night for her birthday (she loves sports) and I think she has come to a realization of how uncomfortable crowds make me. I just can't enjoy being around that many people and it makes it worse to be unarmed. I have a few other weird quirks like, I have to sleep on the couch where I feel I can monitor the doors and the same for when we eat out. I just want to see everything. I use to be weird over fireworks but I have gotten over that. I have never revealed these things to the VA because I don't wish to be labeled with mental illness or losing my weapons. Other than that I am fine. I just want to be able to enjoy our times out together. Any advice? None of that stuff is too odd. I do some of that shit and I wasn't in a war. Unless you are self harming, or can't function in life at all I wouldn't worry about it. edited to add. It sounds like you are capable of getting over this on your own, just do what you did to get over the fireworks. I would assume it was just a matter of time. |
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Quoted:
Hey guys, I am an Iraq Veteran who is questioning his odd behavior. I took my wife of seven years to a NBA exhibition game last night for her birthday (she loves sports) and I think she has come to a realization of how uncomfortable crowds make me. I just can't enjoy being around that many people and it makes it worse to be unarmed. I have a few other weird quirks like, I have to sleep on the couch where I feel I can monitor the doors and the same for when we eat out. I just want to see everything. I use to be weird over fireworks but I have gotten over that. I have never revealed these things to the VA because I don't wish to be labeled with mental illness or losing my weapons. Other than that I am fine. I just want to be able to enjoy our times out together. Any advice? Don't give up. It will get better. |
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I think you are having normal reactions.
I've worked hard at not getting anxious in crowds using self-talk. As for fire works if I wasn't close enough to see or hear the rocket leaving the launcher I was good. If you don't want to go to the VA, what I do is speak with another vet about how I'm feeling. We don't have to talk war, just talking with someone who knows helps. You are normal. |
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Quoted:
Hey guys, I am an Iraq Veteran who is questioning his odd behavior. I took my wife of seven years to a NBA exhibition game last night for her birthday (she loves sports) and I think she has come to a realization of how uncomfortable crowds make me. I just can't enjoy being around that many people and it makes it worse to be unarmed. I have a few other weird quirks like, I have to sleep on the couch where I feel I can monitor the doors and the same for when we eat out. I just want to see everything. I use to be weird over fireworks but I have gotten over that. I have never revealed these things to the VA because I don't wish to be labeled with mental illness or losing my weapons. Other than that I am fine. I just want to be able to enjoy our times out together. Any advice? Everything you described could be PTSD or PTSD like symptoms. I have friends with the same symptoms which don't have PTSD, as they don't meet the rest of the criteria, and others with the same symptoms and a diagnosis of PTSD. If its affecting your life I would suggest getting some help. I wouldn't do group therapy however as that seems to really screw up more folks than it helps, think the blind leading the blind. I would suggest getting some one on one counseling either from the VA or private insurance if you have it. |
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I have not experienced war, and I am not a vet, but I have extreme crowd anxiety and was unaware of it until recently. I also sit with my back to the wall in restaurants. Perhaps you're just a loner type and enjoy being with your girl in small crowds or alone. I hope you find your answer, and thank you for your service. |
| If you feel like you need help, get it. I am a Vietnam vet and never felt like I needed it, but I guess I really got treatment just by talking to my friends. See if there is a group of vets nearby to talk to. PTSD is not one of those things you can take a test for, or put a bandage on until it heals. Let you wife know what is going on. Believe me, just talking about really helps. I'll listen to you all day if it helps. Brother to brother, vet to vet, I care about you and I want you to be at peace with your self. |
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I am the same way. I blame my social anxiety and desire to always see whats happening around me on the fact that, for the most part, people are untrustworthy shitbags. Back is always to a wall facing the entrance in restaurants, theaters, etc.
I doubt mine is PTSD - I was Air Force. 
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Do not drink. How long ago was the deployment? Yeah, I figured that one out real quick. Alcohol cost me a job that some here would kill for. I was briefly a cop and losing that was the most gut wrenching and embarrassing moment in my life. I won't touch it anymore. Even though I went through that, I am truly blessed as I landed a better paying job with an Alphabet Agency in the Fed Gov. So, I guess you could say that God works in mysterious ways. 04-06 |
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I am not a combat vet.
If you are a LEO with that alphabet agency then carry everywhere. If not, carry everywhere you can. If you can not, then take other weapons with you. ie. tactical pen, pocket knife, pepper spray etc being uncomfortable in crowds and isolating the potential threat in a public establishment IMO is normal behavior for someone that does not have his head up his ass. Get a home alarm or a dog or both, they will watch the doors and windows while you sleep. |
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Quoted:
I am not a combat vet. If you are a LEO with that alphabet agency then carry everywhere. If not, carry everywhere you can. If you can not, then take other weapons with you. ie. tactical pen, pocket knife, pepper spray etc being uncomfortable in crowds and isolating the potential threat in a public establishment IMO is normal behavior for someone that does not have his head up his ass. Get a home alarm or a dog or both, they will watch the doors and windows while you sleep. No, I am no longer an LEO but I do carry religiously every day everywhere I can get away with it. Got a home alarm system and a boxer that lives outside. I am not keen on having animals in the house. I just feel like I am shortchanging my wife with my personal issues. She is a Saint. |
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I have a November 3rd appointment at the VA with my Primary Care Doctor. I think I am going to mention this with her.
I just don't want to lose my guns. In my mind I have a pretty good collection with full-auto, cans, etc. I won't mention that with them though. |
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Lots of folks will not sit with their back to the door of a business or restaurant, police and corrections officers are the ones I know the most about. It is kind of amusing if a bunch of em go out together, it is fun to see the fight over who gets to see the door and how many tables it will take to make folks happy. If the place is empty it is not bad to take up a wall of tables with everyone having their back to the wall. But when crowded that is rude as all get out and hurts business so that is when it is fun to watch. Don't know much on the sofa sleeping, I would reinforce the doors and windows and get the alarm system setup to alert you. Crowds are becoming very hard for a lot of folks to enjoy being in. I never liked crowds anyway. But the knockout game and police getting shot and similar stuff just has me to the point where I don't need to go out to large things like the sporting events and what not. Seems like things are headed in a not good way and I prefer to be in low density people areas. I have no help for you with talking to the va about this stuff, these days I think it can go either way. A good va doc would see you working your way through it and work with you, a paranoid doc might be doing paperwork on everyone to cover his/her ass. |
| I'm not in your shoes OP but I would try a different approach and not tell the VA. I don't care for them and I sure as fuck don't trust them. But if you feel it's your only outlet good luck to you and God Bless. Maybe you should sit down and talk to your wife first and foremost. |
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Yeah man. War just changes us. If you're struggling, alcohol is not your friend though, seriously. It will not make anything better.
Everybody's different. Personally, I find that time with other Soldiers/like minded people and time alone outdoors is cathartic. Everybody's different but I think just accepting that life is different now (but not worse) is the best way to move on. |
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Quoted:
Hey guys, I am an Iraq Veteran who is questioning his odd behavior. I took my wife of seven years to a NBA exhibition game last night for her birthday (she loves sports) and I think she has come to a realization of how uncomfortable crowds make me. I just can't enjoy being around that many people and it makes it worse to be unarmed. I have a few other weird quirks like, I have to sleep on the couch where I feel I can monitor the doors and the same for when we eat out. I just want to see everything. I use to be weird over fireworks but I have gotten over that. I have never revealed these things to the VA because I don't wish to be labeled with mental illness or losing my weapons. Other than that I am fine. I just want to be able to enjoy our times out together. Any advice? Keep going out ALL of the time until you are better with it (kinda like a practice makes perfect thing, it needs to become the new norm and learn that it's ok). Hiding in a hole and expecting the world to coddle you like some members are here think isn't going to help. Sleep closest to your bedroom door and have a gun on/in your nightstand, and maybe get a few new deadbolts for the door? If you work for the FBI or whatever, didn't they give you an eval? You might go see someone on your own dime and they probably wouldn't be able to know. Best of luck to you either way, bro |
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Quoted:
Hey guys, I am an Iraq Veteran who is questioning his odd behavior. I took my wife of seven years to a NBA exhibition game last night for her birthday (she loves sports) and I think she has come to a realization of how uncomfortable crowds make me. I just can't enjoy being around that many people and it makes it worse to be unarmed. I have a few other weird quirks like, I have to sleep on the couch where I feel I can monitor the doors and the same for when we eat out. I just want to see everything. I use to be weird over fireworks but I have gotten over that. I have never revealed these things to the VA because I don't wish to be labeled with mental illness or losing my weapons. Other than that I am fine. I just want to be able to enjoy our times out together. Any advice? I served in the MidEast back in the '70s. Ive never let my guard down since too. You dont have a mental illness if this is all you have. Hell I never liked crowds even before i served. You are a survivor and always will be one. Millions of returning Vets have experienced all of this thru the decades. Be patient with yourself. Stay away from the booze and the drugs, embrace exercize, and stop thinking theres something wrong with you. Group therapy is a good option. Go sit with other Vets and tell/listen to your stories. Thank you for your service. IT DID mean something brother. |
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Same here but I sleep in a bed. Always sit with back to wall and face towards the door / crowd. Feeling naked when leaving the house without a gun and knife. When in church or college classes, I always try to sit behind everyone. I don't think these are bad things unless they severely or negatively impact your life.
Would getting an audible alarm on the front door help you sleep in bed, knowing that if anyone opens it the siren will alert you to their presence? I would not talk to the VA. The government is not on our side and I can see them labeling PTSD as a mental disorder and denying you the right to own firearms because of it. Do you have any friends in similar situations? Talk to those that have experienced it. |
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I have a very good friend that is a retired State Trooper.
He is a great guy, but man oh man he struggles (after a few years now) to turn his situational awareness down from full-time DEFCON 1. I know that he saw lot of stuff in his career, and understand that having an appropriate level of SA is important. Having said that, I hope he can learn to dial back at least to level 2 or 3, until of course the SHTF scenario really happens. Thank you for your service, patriot! |
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I have experienced 2 home invasions in my life( no shooting happened at either) and have a hard time getting to sleep sometimes. I also don't like crowds. Not a vet or LE, just spend too much time here
There are numerous no profit vet helplines, where you can speak to another vet any time of day or night. If you have health insurance, seeing a shrink for anxiety wouldn't set off warning flags that would make you lose gun rights, both myself and my girlfriend have and are seeing a therapist for anxiety. Just do a little research, I bet you can find something local to fit your needs. Good luck, and thank you Sir. |
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I would not talk to the VA. The government is not on our side and I can see them labeling PTSD as a mental disorder and denying you the right to own firearms because of it. Do you have any friends in similar situations? Talk to those that have experienced it. I really wish people would stop saying stuff like this. You will not lose your rights for having a mental disorder. You have to be involuntarily commited or have a judge declare you mentally unsound to make decisions for yourself. Seeing a therpist or psychiatrist having prescriptions or even checking yourself in to a mental institution do not disqualify you from exercising you second amendment rights. If you tell a therapist you are thinking of harming yourself or others they may commit you which could cause you to lose your rights. If you are found not guilty by reason of insanity or otherwise have a court decision made regarding your mentally being unfit you may lose your rights. Besides those people should not be afraid to seek treatment you can be diagnosed with anything and still retain your rights and get the help you need |
| You need to tell the VA and get the help that they are able to provide. Sometimes just taking with someone (instead of via the Internet) will help you along . As others above have stated, you cannot lose your guns unless you are involuntarily committed or are threatening to hurt yourself or others. None of your problems are insurmountable and the first step to solving these issues is to talk with someone who can give you coping strategies . Good luck. |
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Talking to others (vets) who have combat experience helps. I had a veteran friend who finally unwound when he was in the company of other vets in a group called Vet Rap.
Have you been to the American Legion or the VFW? Good luck. BTW, a lot of cops don't like their backs to the door either. I didn't and like yourself, I hate crowds. |