[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Help me help him please. (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 12/6/2014 4:14:10 PM EDT
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I need some good ideas as to what direction I can point my 17 year old son. I’m single have been since he was 6, and it’s been just the 2 of us. Not a lot of extra money and what small windfalls I had all went to medicate my BR disease. He has about 1.5 years of high school left and then he will be looking at the rest of his life on his terms. He plays video games like most kids these days and wants to be a game programmer. 9 yrs old  16 yrs old.  My son is awesome; he has never been in trouble. He is kind, polite, respectful, smart, just an all-around great son. I’ve never heard him say a bad or mean thing about anybody on this planet, ever, period. People who meet him and spend time getting to know him for even a few minutes come to tell me what a wonderful kid he is like it is a miracle and I don't know about him. Anyway, I need jobs/career ideas, that will make him a good living and help him to continue being a good man. Something better than what I did with my life so he doesn't end up a schmoe like me. Something he can do and be proud of, and happy and not feel it's all a waste of time. |
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Not a game programmer.
Gt him into a trade HVAC tech is huge and advancing everyday Any thing involved with machine controls or PLC based systems is growing. How is he in math and mechanical stuff? Automaton is very big field. And programming is part of it. Just some things to chew on maybe spark an idea. |
| There was a thread last night about solidworks giving fully functional copies (student license but fully functional) to veterans. Perhaps you could get that so he can learn it. Its quite a common program in cnc machining area and would be a great thing to learn. |
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If he chooses that I will support him, but I wouldn't suggest it or even incourage it while FBHO is commander and thief. Quoted:
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The military is still a good choice for young men. If you're basing service to your country on who's in the big chair at the time, you're not doing it right. I can't imagine I would have been a huge fan of anyone I served with going "Oh hell's yeah! My team is in the White House and I'mma get the hell out as soon as that's not true!!" That said, as someone in the IT field Programming is a hit or miss gig. Question numbah one, does he program now? If the answer is no, then jamming him into some degree mill that promises him he'll be the next John Carmack (or whoever) isn't (probably) going to do anything. It may also put him behind the power curve for a generic Computer Science degree, but if he's quick and logical, that may not be an issue. The other thing is, what does he do with a computer now? If he's an X-Box or Play Station junkie who loves his consoles, that's great, but he needs to be the kind of guy who loves computers. He needs to build his own gaming rig type of guy. He should be able to rattle off specs and plusses and minuses for different hardware and platforms and be willing and ready to BORE THE HELL OUT OF YOU with the minutiae of why this is better than that. Real programmers love the programming. The vast majority of the ones I see now just link black box .COM objects together fast enough to justify their annual bonus. I am not a programmer because I'd be the second type. 
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Originally Posted By cavgunner: Not a game programmer. Gt him into a trade HVAC tech is huge and advancing everyday Any thing involved with machine controls or PLC based systems is growing. How is he in math and mechanical stuff? Automaton is very big field. And programming is part of it. Just some things to chew on maybe spark an idea. |
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An associate of science in an engineering field can send you a long way down the road. Good ones can be turned into a BS and MS later Quoted:
Originally Posted By cavgunner:
Not a game programmer. Gt him into a trade HVAC tech is huge and advancing everyday Any thing involved with machine controls or PLC based systems is growing. How is he in math and mechanical stuff? Automaton is very big field. And programming is part of it. Just some things to chew on maybe spark an idea. That was my track. Programmers don't make 100k anymore. The trades are short skilled techs. Building automation, like environmental and lighting management have become huge with the push towards energy conservation. Not just tin knockers and pipe fitters either. These systems are controlled by computers that require sensors and actuators to control fans, motors and valves. Very high tech and diverse field. |
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What are his gifts?
My kids are all different. My son is a "practical, hands on guy" who can take things apart, figure out how they work, and fix or improve them. I think he will be an engineer or work in a trade most likely. My daughter is more of a music/language/art person who could draw better than me by the time she was 8. She will likely be a writer. My youngest I haven't quite figured out yet, but she might be the smartest of all of them book wise. I think the key is figuring out how he is built, and then finding where he fits. I think that one of the biggest mistakes parents make here is trying to make their kids into what THEY wanted to be, instead of figuring out what their kids were actually created to be. Regardless, encourage him to do the best he can at every thing he does, and take pride in his work. I teach my kids that they are here to glorify God with their lives, not live for themselves, and when they do a job they are not doing it for me, or their employer, or even for themselves, but serving God. I would not have objected to a military career 20 years ago, or maybe even 10, but right now I believe that our politicians are turning our military into a social experiment which is designed to advance a liberal agenda which is destined to be a huge failure and I would rather none of them have to be a part of that. I am an MD, but I teach my kids that any honest work has equal value- blue collar or white collar does not matter, it is the quality of their work that makes it valuable, even if that means stocking at Walmart. If you are the best stocker at walmart and work hard, eventually you will be in charge of the store or more. |
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Write down all his interests and ideas that he might enjoy doing with his life no matter how "stupid." What does he see himself doing?
Then start researching what kind of careers you can make out of the interests. Learn more about each one. Pros/Cons/Pay/etc. Start parring it down and go from there. Don't worry about finding the "ultimate job", find something he can be happy in. STEM jobs whether blue or white collar are a good starting point if he is having trouble with interests. Maybe one will spark something. Don't try and become too specialized, at least not initially. Have a couple goals, starting, mid, end, and it's early I know but talk about retirement and saving for that. Now is the best time to start. |
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Not a game programmer. Gt him into a trade HVAC tech is huge and advancing everyday Any thing involved with machine controls or PLC based systems is growing. How is he in math and mechanical stuff? Automaton is very big field. And programming is part of it. Just some things to chew on maybe spark an idea. +100. I wish I had been pointed in that direction going out of High School. Air Force and Navy have great tech fields that pay well on the outside. Need to do the research first and get a guaranteed position. |
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He's doing ok in school, but struggles with math. That's ok. He's doing math way beyond what I know. He has said he wants to be a game programer or a fireman.Fireman scares me a little as I have been on earth for 53 years so far and I see what happens to firemen now and then. I know when I was in the Corps, I was very happy to have Ronald Regan as my boss. Some of the jobs your talking about I don't even know what they are.  But I can look them up later on line so please don't let my ignorance stop you. |
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Diversity in many career paths is the best idea anyone can take. Putting all ones eggs in one basket with X degree will be a huge disappointment as it is for so many.
Little bit of stuff he enjoys with jobs that make decent money is a good balance in life. Skip on any job market that's currently or soon to be flooded with graduates, pay will suffer. |
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U.S. Coast Guard is recruiting, don't buy into the rumors that the wait is over a year, it's false.
http://www.gocoastguard.com/active-duty-careers/enlisted-opportunities/view-job-descriptions/it |
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I think raising a good kid means you aren't a "schmoe", by the way. It is one of the more valuable things you can do. Good post! Looking back, the only valuable things I can add are an education is forever, it will get your name in the hat in even un-related fields. Have him shadow some friends in various careers for a day or two, if allowed, in some of his prospective choices. And working a menial job/labor now will keep a fire lit under him to succeed. HTH! |
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He's doing ok in school, but struggles with math. That's ok. He's doing math way beyond what I know. He has said he wants to be a game programer or a fireman.Fireman scares me a little as I have been on earth for 53 years so far and I see what happens to firemen now and then. I know when I was in the Corps, I was very happy to have Ronald Regan as my boss. Some of the jobs your talking about I don't even know what they are. But I can look them up later on line so please don't let my ignorance stop you.
I'm a senior software engineer. What type of programming has he done to date? I was writing html when I was 13 and learning how to logically put together syntax from then on. By the time I went to college, I had already been versed in databases and web scripting languages like pearl and php. In college I saw A LOT of people struggle in my classes because it was the first time for any of them seeing this stuff. I didn't have much of as problem because previous experience, even on brand new things to me, helped logically connect the dots. As far as Math and the old line of "you have to be really good as math to be a programmer", I would say that is often taken too literal. Really you just need to be a strong problem solver and think logically. The ability to know math equations and all these advanced techniques is a waste of time if you ask me. I almost failed basic calculus in college, but pulled straight A in every single programming class. Honestly, when I am hiring someone from my team, I want them to have good problem solving skills, but I also look for personality. You've got to have a level head and be personable to be successful. You can be the best programmer in the world, but if you're an asshole nobody will want to work with you. |
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He's doing ok in school, but struggles with math. That's ok. He's doing math way beyond what I know. He has said he wants to be a game programer or a fireman.... No programmer worth 2 shits has trouble with math. Make As & Bs in math a priority, find a way to incentivize him. There are zero math tards in my office full of programmers. |
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A good solid skill that is always in demand is being a locksmith. I pitched this to one of my sons once, how I could buy a van and get them tools, set them up with some training and start slow but have a steady rise to a full blown business. Didn't fly too well at the time. Fast forward to today and a best friend is now making decent money doing exactly what I suggested. Plus the foreclosure crisis turned into a bonanza. He could apprentice with an existing company, and take hold of his own future - it's not a million dollar job but it is one that gives daily satisfaction and a very honest living. Plus the future holds many high tech changes in this area with all those existing locks needing to be updated at some point to Smartlocks. Just a thought, guidance is a Dad's job - and I knew this was a realistic idea. Turns out my young son's technical abilities landed him a job as head of groundkeeping equipment at a country club, which is a big deal at his age - but he did that all himself starting from the bottom. |
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He's doing ok in school, but struggles with math. That's ok. He's doing math way beyond what I know. He has said he wants to be a game programer or a fireman.Fireman scares me a little as I have been on earth for 53 years so far and I see what happens to firemen now and then. I know when I was in the Corps, I was very happy to have Ronald Regan as my boss. Some of the jobs your talking about I don't even know what they are. But I can look them up later on line so please don't let my ignorance stop you.
your son kinda sounds like me 14 years ago.. I went into CAD design. at one time I thought about game design, but when i looked into it seriously, it's hard to be successful, and very expensive. A lot of companies need someone that can do 3D design and make prints. interest in firefighting? I work for a company that makes the best municipal and airport firetrucks in the world 
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Fireman is a good job. Public service, good benefits, opportunity for advancement, although you need a degree to go very far these days.
Working kelly shifts also allows many fireman to work at a trade part time on the side. I worked EMS for 8 years and it was one of the most fun and challenging jobs I have ever had. If you really work at being good at it, you could spend a lifetime improving you assessment, interpersonal, and scene management skills. I would be happy with this as a career choice for my son. |
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Even though math is not his strong point a computer science track might be good. Remember computers can do the math now a days.
If he likes gaming, maybe (ethical)hacking would be good for him. I always thought of it as a game... Maybe listen to the Security Now Podcast with Steve Gibson and Leo Laporte, watch Hak5.org podcasts, "play" on hackThisSite.org. Tools and resources are out there and usually free. Also check out the book "Hackers and Painters" by Paul Grahm or some of his articles here: http://www.paulgraham.com/articles.html. Another cool blog: http://www.joelonsoftware.com/ Could be something to do together or let him go exploring into. Remind him that there are consequences if he is malicious even if it's just from his bedroom pc. Maybe have some good talks and dialog over a burger and fries about tech ethics, cyberwarfare, personal privacy, etc. It is a fascinating field. To get the ball rolling rent some retro-cool 80's/90's hacker movies too. You both can learn a ton and have fun. Best of luck to him and thanks for being a great Dad! 
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Navy would be a great start. Let them educate him/pay for school.
its not glamorous but there are many trades that translate into jobs when you get out. FP&L (Florida Power & Light) seems to be entirely made up of Navy guys and Navy Nukes. There will always be jobs in the energy sector. |
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Industrial Electronics, PLC-CNC controls.
You said he is 'so-so' in math, that may be a problem. There is such a shortage of 'GOOD' techs. to be found. Very much in demand as kids do not want to work in an mfg. environment. He sounds like a Great Son, I have the 2 Best! (sorry) All The Best, You're a Great Dad as well, raised mine by myself as well. |
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If he chooses that I will support him, but I wouldn't suggest it or even incourage it while FBHO is commander and thief. Quoted:
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The military is still a good choice for young men. Honestly that is ridiculous. There are officers and NCOs out there that will grow him into a hell of a soldier regardless of what fucksticks are in the offices of our government. |
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Industrial Electronics, PLC-CNC controls.
You said he is 'so-so' in math, that may be a problem. There is such a shortage of 'GOOD' techs. to be found. Very much in demand as kids do not want to work in an mfg. environment. He sounds like a Great Son, I have the 2 Best! (sorry) All The Best, You're a Great Dad as well, raised mine by myself as well. |
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As a software guy, I can say it's a great field. Lots of potential for good earnings, solid job field, it will only grow.
I will recommend against game development, though. That's a very feast/famine field, the workload is insane, the hours are long (longer than most software fields), the stress is insane, the constant threat of layoffs and downsizing isn't worth it. None of this matters, of course, if he doesn't love development. It's a field that will chew you up and spit you out if you don't live and breathe it. |
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Health Care fields are always good. I am a PTA, which is an associates degree, pays pretty well, but just remember that like RN programs, it is two years of field specific school with about a year or prerequisites before hand.
The aforementioned RN program, also available at CC's would also be a good program that pays well, and with people living longer, both fields should theoretically thrive in the coming years. |