Posted: 1/14/2014 5:44:21 PM EDT
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I'll try to be as brief as possible, maybe somebody can give me some advice. I work in a corporate setting. My department has different positions for my same title. Some are much harder than others. They obviously try and put the most talented people on the hardest position. I currently have one of the harder positions.
Here's where the problem comes in. I have been working in my position for several years with no problems, actually have gotten really good reviews. However I am chronically ill, and have told no one about it. Some days are harder for me than others but I always get the job done, and I do my best. Today my boss approached me to fill the hardest position, and I told him I was not interested because I don't feel that I can do the work. It is a much more stressful position, and I really don't need any more stress in my life. I am content doing what I do. He seemed a bit upset and said he might be back to discuss it further. I am hesitant to tell them I am sick because I handle millions of dolllars in responsibility, and I am afraid they will lose confidence in my ability. However by turning down this "promotion" I felt like I upset my immediate boss. I don't want people to feel bad for me, I just want to be left alone to do the job I have now which apparently I can do well. |
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I understand and sympathize, but you may have torpedoed yourself.
Depending on your corporate culture, a "lack of interest in advancement, and additional responsibility" is not a career-enhancing thing to have on your record. I hope this doesn't apply in your case. |
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Quoted:
I understand and sympathize, but you may have torpedoed yourself. Depending on your corporate culture, a "lack of interest in advancement, and additional responsibility" is not a career-enhancing thing to have on your record. I hope this doesn't apply in your case. I get your reasoning, but where I work at it does not reflect well if you are not trying to advance, they do not understand some people are just happy where they are at. I have tried to explain this to other management types and they just do not see it like I do. I am getting old and these are young guys with their own ideas....they will learn that guys like you are very good to have, in time.. |
| HIM has some good advice and I agree. One thing I would recommend is to sit down and explain to your boss what's going on. If your doing a good job they'll understand that maybe the extra pressure would be too much and leave you where you are since your doing so well. |
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I understand and sympathize, but you may have torpedoed yourself. Depending on your corporate culture, a "lack of interest in advancement, and additional responsibility" is not a career-enhancing thing to have on your record. ...snip.... But neither is premature death, caused by excess stress exacerbating a chronic illness... |
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Honesty is the best policy brother. Tell the boss man that you really enjoy your current job because it is what you know how to do. You have trained yourself to properly handle the stress and workload so it is where you are comfortable. Being sick and adding stress to your life can do a lot more damage than you think. But worry about this rather than taking care of it will stress you out too. Just get it over with. You will feel better!
GOOD LUCK OP! 
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OP, tell the boss what is up.
I just found out today that my favorite coworker is leaving the company. She has several chronic illnesses and was recently very ill. Her doctor told her to either find a less stressful job or the stress was going to kill her. She has two young sons. |
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But neither is premature death, caused by excess stress exacerbating a chronic illness... Quoted:
Quoted:
I understand and sympathize, but you may have torpedoed yourself. Depending on your corporate culture, a "lack of interest in advancement, and additional responsibility" is not a career-enhancing thing to have on your record. ...snip.... But neither is premature death, caused by excess stress exacerbating a chronic illness... As far as the company is concerned, he's not interested in additional responsibility. They don't know he's sick |
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Dude, I don't care how important you are. If you drop over, drop out, or whatever, they won't remember your fucking name 6 weeks later.
Keep this up and your young widow will have to find another nice guy to replace you. But she will. Don't kill yourself over a job. My wife's late husband did. I am enjoying the life he ought to be having. Too bad for him. Nice guy but he treated job stress with too much food and too many cigs. Dropped over dead at age 49. You might have to leave this job. It beats being dead. The people that love you prefer you unemployed and alive than dead and forgotten in 6 weeks. |
| I would run my options through HR first, or set up a meeting with Boss and HR together. It's possible that you may have screwed yourself out of future promotions, bonuses and good assignments and others less qualified might pass you over (since you don't want it) but with proper documentation they won't be able to fire you. If they are satisfied with your work they might understand your needs and let you be at your current level |
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Quoted: I get your reasoning, but where I work at it does not reflect well if you are not trying to advance, they do not understand some people are just happy where they are at. I have tried to explain this to other management types and they just do not see it like I do. I am getting old and these are young guys with their own ideas....they will learn that guys like you are very good to have, in time.. Quoted: Quoted: I understand and sympathize, but you may have torpedoed yourself. Depending on your corporate culture, a "lack of interest in advancement, and additional responsibility" is not a career-enhancing thing to have on your record. I hope this doesn't apply in your case. I get your reasoning, but where I work at it does not reflect well if you are not trying to advance, they do not understand some people are just happy where they are at. I have tried to explain this to other management types and they just do not see it like I do. I am getting old and these are young guys with their own ideas....they will learn that guys like you are very good to have, in time.. |
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Agreed. Quoted:
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Tell him straight up what you said here. Agreed. Same here. Look, boss, I LOVE my job; I love it so much that I soldier on and do my best even though I'm very ill and haven't told you about it for a long time - but honestly, with this disease, I'm maxed out here now. I wish I was physically able to do more, but I'm afraid this is my limit. |
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First and foremost, there is no way anyone here can give you reliable advice without knowing what your chronic illness is. Some thoughts:
1- If it is work related, you need to preserve your rights to workman's compensation. That varies from state to state. Read your HR policies and benefits on work related injuries and go from there. 2- If it is not work related, you need to be careful. Employees with chronic illness consume the vast majority of healthcare spending. There is a big bullseye painted on those employee's back due to all of the consultant's employers hire to contain their escalating costs. This is their favorite talking point for the last ten years. It is no accident your company has "wellness" benefits. 3- Many employers provide third-party disability insurance. You need to read that policy to see if it dictates what you need to do. 4- DO NOT EVER TELL YOUR EMPLOYER OF AN ILLNESS UNLESS YOU MUST DO SO. That will go into your HR file permanently (the bullseye that says I cost more than other employees). 5- If it is none of their business, and you are under no obligation to inform them, don't be direct. Tell them something like you and your spouse are talking over careers and you will be taking online courses to obtain a degree (or further an existing one). 6- Overall, the best policy is to keep your medical history as private as possible. |
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So if you were healthy would you want the new position? It sounded as if you simply do not want it vs you cant handle it because of your health. I point this out because it is indeed 2 very separate things. You indicated " I am content doing what I do." that's why I'm pointing this out. As soon as you bring up a life impacting health issue expect HR to get involved some how. Keep the conversation light but truthful regarding your health unless you want to go down the path of accommodation/fmla protection and ongoing HR involvement. (not saying that's a bad thing but just understand that again it can go a couple different ways dealing with HR involvement). If it is health related that you can not do the job but would have loved to then talk about it with your boss and explain that. If you were healthy and still would not want the job do to the stress it brings don't use your health issues as the reason you don't want it. Best of luck, let us know what you decide to do. |
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The least you tell your employer about your health condition the better. I had a unexpected health condition and my friend / partner was informing them behind my back on what was happening with me. It was totally unavoidable as I was working with him every day and it couldn't be hid.Then I fell off a roof at work so that really put the nail in my coffin. My employer used the economy as an excuse and laid me off months later when they figured that it would not come back to bite them in the ass. I was the only one laid off due to losing a contract. Talked to a new doc recently and he asked me if my ex employer knew about what happened and hinted that was the reason why they let me go,which I already had figured, but it was sort of nice to have my thought validated. Unemployment for 6 months, then couldn't get a job for 4 more months due to Obozos economy and now making half of what I was, now working nights. FML |
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as a manager i have a few comments on this situation, and some of the responses above. As soon as you bring up a life impacting health issue expect HR to get involved some how. Keep the conversation light but truthful regarding your health unless you want to go down the path of accommodation/fmla protection and ongoing HR involvement. (not saying that's a bad thing but just understand that again it can go a couple different ways dealing with HR involvement). i would never, ever "talk to HR" about a medical issue which a direct report has presented to me. that is personal, confidential information which the individual shared with me in confidence because he/she thought that said condition may have some type of impact on attendance or performance. it's my job as a manager to 1) keep an empathetic viewpoint, and 2) balance what was just told to me with the needs of the business. on a practical level -- if the issue is short term, there is no need to involve HR; if it is a long term disability issue, then of course HR will get involved. but for a long term health issue, it's my job as a manager to make the situation work as best as possible for both the employee and the company. Depending on your corporate culture, a "lack of interest in advancement, and additional responsibility" is not a career-enhancing thing to have on your record. the LEOs in GD will tell you that effective use of "professional discretion" is what separates the good from the bad. employees are people; they have real-life problems and these problems extend over different intervals. in the almost 20 years i have been doing technical management, i have been quite surprised a few times, and mainly by employee reactions to life-altering events. the most common is divorce -- a huge emotional and economic impact. some folks will roll with it, and see it as a new beginning. some folks will see it as the end of the world. there is no way for me to know which is which ahead of time, and so remaining flexible is key. two people in my charge have gotten divorced, and they had quite opposite reactions. i always ask, "hey, we can restructure your workload a bit if you want..." and i need to do this carefully because if you take responsibility away from good people (even with the best intentions) they can spiral further downward and resent you just as much as their ex-wife. one guy's reaction was "hey, listen, i need a little time to find a place, get a lawyer, etc, but i should be able to do X % of what you need me to". that's awesome feedback. another guy's reaction was, "fuck no, give me more work, i'll do OT and whatever else is needed, it will keep my mind off this stupid situation and i'll need the money anyway." so, presented with the OP's example of a chronic condition, my first question is always going to be "have you found *the* doctor, *the* guy for this condition? not some random GP who your healthcare provider sent you to." the reason for this is that the most important facet for EVERYONE involved is the employee's health. it's most important for the employee obviously, it's important to the manager to make his deliverables, and it's important to the organization because it is a fuck-ton cheaper to retain a good employee than recruit, train, integrate, and get peak performance out of new employee. so, you want to see a specialist in NYC or Colorado Springs or wherever -- go, go now, i'll cover your work, i'll do your work, i'll punch your timecard, just go and get your condition sorted as best as possible. the psychological impact of getting such expertise can not be understated. no, not all chronic conditions are solvable, but mitigation approaches differ and some are far better than others. 4- DO NOT EVER TELL YOUR EMPLOYER OF AN ILLNESS UNLESS YOU MUST DO SO. That will go into your HR file permanently (the bullseye that says I cost more than other employees). see above, talking to your immediate boss is not talking to HR. more importantly, as an employee you can do one of two things: 1) talk to your immediate supervisor about your limitations and how you are working around them, or 2) you can simply not talk to him and he'll conclude all by himself that you are not pulling your weight. so option 1, you still have a job and perhaps an even more optimal work arrangement for your health situations, or option 2 you have no job and no healthcare. pick one. some things are immediately obvious to managers who have their eyes open. for instance, you employ a great, productive, conscientious guy who's wife just had their first baby. for the next three weeks you notice him rolling in a bit late and he looks pretty tired as well. what is your reaction to this as a manager? "hey, Joe, could you get in to work on time one of these days?" -- no. you don't have to. this guy already knows this. in other cases people are going to tell you things about other people. this is potentially the most hazardous information collection method ever devised, for everyone involved. "hey boss, didja know Bob is getting divorced?" or "listen, i overheard Sally telling Mary she has to go for a breast cancer evaluation". as a manager i have two reactions to this: 1) the person telling me this may have an angle, or may just be concerned, or may be a busybody (and i have no way of discriminating which it is), and 2) there is nothing (at all) i can do with that information. fruit of a poisonous tree, basically. if you really want to shoot yourself in the foot as a manager, just go to an employee and say "i heard you were getting divorced". btw if a boss ever comes to you and presents similar hearsay info, you know everything you need to know about his character. i tell you this OP because if you have confided in any of your colleagues there is a chance your boss already knows. the summary here is that if you believe that your illness is affecting your work performance, and some (minor) changes could be made to optimize your outputs, and you have a boss with his head screwed on, i see no problem whatsoever with discussing it. ar-jedi |
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Quoted:
as a manager i have a few comments on this situation, and some of the responses above. i would never, ever "talk to HR" about a medical issue which a direct report has presented to me. that is personal, confidential information which the individual shared with me in confidence because he/she thought that said condition may have some type of impact on attendance or performance. it's my job as a manager to 1) keep an empathetic viewpoint, and 2) balance what was just told to me with the needs of the business. on a practical level -- if the issue is short term, there is no need to involve HR; if it is a long term disability issue, then of course HR will get involved. but for a long term health issue, it's my job as a manager to make the situation work as best as possible for both the employee and the company. the LEOs in GD will tell you that effective use of "professional discretion" is what separates the good from the bad. employees are people; they have real-life problems and these problems extend over different intervals. in the almost 20 years i have been doing technical management, i have been quite surprised a few times, and mainly by employee reactions to life-altering events. the most common is divorce -- a huge emotional and economic impact. some folks will roll with it, and see it as a new beginning. some folks will see it as the end of the world. there is no way for me to know which is which ahead of time, and so remaining flexible is key. two people in my charge have gotten divorced, and they had quite opposite reactions. i always ask, "hey, we can restructure your workload a bit if you want..." and i need to do this carefully because if you take responsibility away from good people (even with the best intentions) they can spiral further downward and resent you just as much as their ex-wife. one guy's reaction was "hey, listen, i need a little time to find a place, get a lawyer, etc, but i should be able to do X % of what you need me to". that's awesome feedback. another guy's reaction was, "fuck no, give me more work, i'll do OT and whatever else is needed, it will keep my mind off this stupid situation and i'll need the money anyway." so, presented with the OP's example of a chronic condition, my first question is always going to be "have you found *the* doctor, *the* guy for this condition? not some random GP who your healthcare provider sent you to." the reason for this is that the most important facet for EVERYONE involved is the employee's health. it's most important for the employee obviously, it's important to the manager to make his deliverables, and it's important to the organization because it is a fuck-ton cheaper to retain a good employee than recruit, train, integrate, and get peak performance out of new employee. so, you want to see a specialist in NYC or Colorado Springs or wherever -- go, go now, i'll cover your work, i'll do your work, i'll punch your timecard, just go and get your condition sorted as best as possible. the psychological impact of getting such expertise can not be understated. no, not all chronic conditions are solvable, but mitigation approaches differ and some are far better than others. see above, talking to your immediate boss is not talking to HR. more importantly, as an employee you can do one of two things: 1) talk to your immediate supervisor about your limitations and how you are working around them, or 2) you can simply not talk to him and he'll conclude all by himself that you are not pulling your weight. so option 1, you still have a job and perhaps an even more optimal work arrangement for your health situations, or option 2 you have no job and no healthcare. pick one. some things are immediately obvious to managers who have their eyes open. for instance, you employ a great, productive, conscientious guy who's wife just had their first baby. for the next three weeks you notice him rolling in a bit late and he looks pretty tired as well. what is your reaction to this as a manager? "hey, Joe, could you get in to work on time one of these days?" -- no. you don't have to. this guy already knows this. in other cases people are going to tell you things about other people. this is potentially the most hazardous information collection method ever devised, for everyone involved. "hey boss, didja know Bob is getting divorced?" or "listen, i overheard Sally telling Mary she has to go for a breast cancer evaluation". as a manager i have two reactions to this: 1) the person telling me this may have an angle, or may just be concerned, or may be a busybody (and i have no way of discriminating which it is), and 2) there is nothing (at all) i can do with that information. fruit of a poisonous tree, basically. if you really want to shoot yourself in the foot as a manager, just go to an employee and say "i heard you were getting divorced". btw if a boss ever comes to you and presents similar hearsay info, you know everything you need to know about his character. i tell you this OP because if you have confided in any of your colleagues there is a chance your boss already knows. the summary here is that if you believe that your illness is affecting your work performance, and some (minor) changes could be made to optimize your outputs, and you have a boss with his head screwed on, i see no problem whatsoever with discussing it. ar-jedi Quoted:
as a manager i have a few comments on this situation, and some of the responses above. As soon as you bring up a life impacting health issue expect HR to get involved some how. Keep the conversation light but truthful regarding your health unless you want to go down the path of accommodation/fmla protection and ongoing HR involvement. (not saying that's a bad thing but just understand that again it can go a couple different ways dealing with HR involvement). i would never, ever "talk to HR" about a medical issue which a direct report has presented to me. that is personal, confidential information which the individual shared with me in confidence because he/she thought that said condition may have some type of impact on attendance or performance. it's my job as a manager to 1) keep an empathetic viewpoint, and 2) balance what was just told to me with the needs of the business. on a practical level -- if the issue is short term, there is no need to involve HR; if it is a long term disability issue, then of course HR will get involved. but for a long term health issue, it's my job as a manager to make the situation work as best as possible for both the employee and the company. Depending on your corporate culture, a "lack of interest in advancement, and additional responsibility" is not a career-enhancing thing to have on your record. the LEOs in GD will tell you that effective use of "professional discretion" is what separates the good from the bad. employees are people; they have real-life problems and these problems extend over different intervals. in the almost 20 years i have been doing technical management, i have been quite surprised a few times, and mainly by employee reactions to life-altering events. the most common is divorce -- a huge emotional and economic impact. some folks will roll with it, and see it as a new beginning. some folks will see it as the end of the world. there is no way for me to know which is which ahead of time, and so remaining flexible is key. two people in my charge have gotten divorced, and they had quite opposite reactions. i always ask, "hey, we can restructure your workload a bit if you want..." and i need to do this carefully because if you take responsibility away from good people (even with the best intentions) they can spiral further downward and resent you just as much as their ex-wife. one guy's reaction was "hey, listen, i need a little time to find a place, get a lawyer, etc, but i should be able to do X % of what you need me to". that's awesome feedback. another guy's reaction was, "fuck no, give me more work, i'll do OT and whatever else is needed, it will keep my mind off this stupid situation and i'll need the money anyway." so, presented with the OP's example of a chronic condition, my first question is always going to be "have you found *the* doctor, *the* guy for this condition? not some random GP who your healthcare provider sent you to." the reason for this is that the most important facet for EVERYONE involved is the employee's health. it's most important for the employee obviously, it's important to the manager to make his deliverables, and it's important to the organization because it is a fuck-ton cheaper to retain a good employee than recruit, train, integrate, and get peak performance out of new employee. so, you want to see a specialist in NYC or Colorado Springs or wherever -- go, go now, i'll cover your work, i'll do your work, i'll punch your timecard, just go and get your condition sorted as best as possible. the psychological impact of getting such expertise can not be understated. no, not all chronic conditions are solvable, but mitigation approaches differ and some are far better than others. 4- DO NOT EVER TELL YOUR EMPLOYER OF AN ILLNESS UNLESS YOU MUST DO SO. That will go into your HR file permanently (the bullseye that says I cost more than other employees). see above, talking to your immediate boss is not talking to HR. more importantly, as an employee you can do one of two things: 1) talk to your immediate supervisor about your limitations and how you are working around them, or 2) you can simply not talk to him and he'll conclude all by himself that you are not pulling your weight. so option 1, you still have a job and perhaps an even more optimal work arrangement for your health situations, or option 2 you have no job and no healthcare. pick one. some things are immediately obvious to managers who have their eyes open. for instance, you employ a great, productive, conscientious guy who's wife just had their first baby. for the next three weeks you notice him rolling in a bit late and he looks pretty tired as well. what is your reaction to this as a manager? "hey, Joe, could you get in to work on time one of these days?" -- no. you don't have to. this guy already knows this. in other cases people are going to tell you things about other people. this is potentially the most hazardous information collection method ever devised, for everyone involved. "hey boss, didja know Bob is getting divorced?" or "listen, i overheard Sally telling Mary she has to go for a breast cancer evaluation". as a manager i have two reactions to this: 1) the person telling me this may have an angle, or may just be concerned, or may be a busybody (and i have no way of discriminating which it is), and 2) there is nothing (at all) i can do with that information. fruit of a poisonous tree, basically. if you really want to shoot yourself in the foot as a manager, just go to an employee and say "i heard you were getting divorced". btw if a boss ever comes to you and presents similar hearsay info, you know everything you need to know about his character. i tell you this OP because if you have confided in any of your colleagues there is a chance your boss already knows. the summary here is that if you believe that your illness is affecting your work performance, and some (minor) changes could be made to optimize your outputs, and you have a boss with his head screwed on, i see no problem whatsoever with discussing it. ar-jedi b]It does depend on the situation absolutely[/b] but in many cases when an employee tells their manager about a chronic medical issue that has the possibility to impact work it is the managers responsibility to understand the companies legal responsibilities. Turning a blind eye or not involving the proper people in a situation like this has turned into legal troubles for many companies. Also you are an officer or manager for the company so if someone tells you something it legally means the company was made aware of the situation. If the company gets sued for any of the regulations that protect employees with medical issues the money does not come out of your pocket (unless of course your also personally named in the civil suit, but still the company has the deep pockets). This simple fact makes it not a personal conversation, the info was passed to you and if you elect not to pass it on you are taking away the companies right to protect itself as well as the employee. They are not coming to you as a friend looking for advice they are coming to you as their manager explaining their medical issues so you can understand the potential impact to the business. This is how it should be viewed. Its not a bad thing to view it this way, you still care for the employee and want the best for them however your responsibility is to also protect the company and when someone brings up chronic medical issues a lot is involved. |
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I would run my options through HR first, or set up a meeting with Boss and HR together. It's possible that you may have screwed yourself out of future promotions, bonuses and good assignments and others less qualified might pass you over (since you don't want it) but with proper documentation they won't be able to fire you. If they are satisfied with your work they might understand your needs and let you be at your current level I agree only if OP knows the HR people and has some reason to trust them. They may decide that he's a risk and find some way to dump him. |
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Tell him straight up what you said here. This! Tell your boss. If he doesn't get it, move on. I've left more jobs because my hard work doesn't matter. Remember that life is getting shorter not longer. Life is too short to be unhappy. I just left a job in October because my POS new boss didn't get it. Good luck to you. |