Posted: 7/5/2013 10:05:51 AM EDT
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I asked the receptionist at my job if she knew the reason we celebrated on the fourth of July.
"Yeahhh... Independence...." "Independence from whom?" "The Indians...." "That's right! You must've paid close attention in school! On July 4th, 1776, our country approved a Declaration of Independence from the tyrannical Indian King and his taxes. We would become a sovereign nation and we would force our oppressors to live on reservations and open gambling casinos." |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
I forget again. Which sides were they on, North or South?  Was that before or after Gen. Grant flew the Wright Flyer 50 miles on a thimble full of corn oil to assassinate Lincoln on the grassy knoll With onions on his belt...which was the fashion at the time.... |
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Oh its even better. http://youtu.be/SRkFDcX_72c
Mark Dice talks with California beach goers about the 4th of July and finds that many Americans simply don't know WHY we celebrate the 4th of July or what country we declared independence from.
We are totally fracked. 
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Quoted:
Oh its even better. http://youtu.be/SRkFDcX_72c Mark Dice talks with California beach goers about the 4th of July and finds that many Americans simply don't know WHY we celebrate the 4th of July or what country we declared independence from.
We are totally fracked. They were playing this on the radio this morning. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It's a good indicator for why we have the government we have today. I wonder what the results would be if we asked every member of congress. 
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| A lot of people don't know this, but Paul Revere warned the colonists after seeing three lanterns in the church steeple; one if by land, two if by sea (however ridiculous that sounds), and three if by air. Well, it just so happens they came by Apache helicopter, and they would yell the name of their leader when they parachuted down into battle, and since we kicked their asses and made them our bitches, we also won the right to use their battle cry, albeit in a more comical way. If you've ever leaped from a great height and yelled, "GERONIMO!!!," well, now you know why. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I forget again. Which sides were they on, North or South? Was that before or after Gen. Grant flew the Wright Flyer 50 miles on a thimble full of corn oil to assassinate Lincoln on the grassy knoll With onions on his belt...which was the fashion at the time.... Bu you couldn't white onions because of the war just the big yellow ones. |
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Quoted: Oh its even better. http://youtu.be/SRkFDcX_72c Mark Dice talks with California beach goers about the 4th of July and finds that many Americans simply don't know WHY we celebrate the 4th of July or what country we declared independence from. We are totally fracked. And those people breed and vote *shudder* |