[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Bullying... (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 2/26/2013 5:10:00 PM EDT
|
I realize this is ARFCOM suicide to post this in GD, but what the hell... I'm bored
When I was in grade school, I got bullied. Not afraid to admit that, because I eventually handled it. Years of bullying my mother finally was able to sit down with the principal of my small private (Catholic) school. Principal told her there was nothing they could (Would) do. So my mother looked at me and said "Next time he touches you, pushes you, etc. Kick his ass" Principal told her she couldn't say that. Mother told her to shut up, then repeated what she said to me. The next day said kid came up and tried his usual shit. I palmed his head and slammed it into the wooden beam on the playground twice. That was 8th grade and this had been going on for 7 years. I have had 0 issues since. I guess what I'm having a hard time understanding is why parents do not encourage self defense. I'm not saying instigate shit. Absolutely not. I was taught to never start a fight, but to always finish it. I was told if I defended myself, nothing would happen to me. But if I started shit, my parents said, more or less, they would kick my ass themselves. So, How many people here were taught or teach their kids this mentality? |
I was taught to fight back (I'm 43) My wife's half brother (much, much much younger) was taught the same. Back in 2003 or 2004 when he was in high school he was jumped. He fought back and damn near got expelled due to zero tolerance. They said he hold have run away and gotten a teacher or just taken it.
|
|
Quoted:
My parents did not really push the fight back thing. They did have that mentality though - I totally got away with hitting a girl in the face with a tree limb once.. I also never got bullied much so that may have been part of not emphasizing it. Note to self...Do not piss you off 
|
|
Quoted:
Well, now if you tried that, both people would be in trouble  True, there is no such thing as self defense even if caught on camera and completely justified. We were instructed to run away screaming to make a scene and eventually a teacher would get to the bottom of it. Yeah running away screaming will really help the kid from not getting bullied. If you do fight you could find yourself in an alternative school full of other kids that have been in and out of juvenile hall their whole life. |
|
Quoted:
My kids are told fighting is part of life. someone hits you, hit them back twice as hard. Protect yourself at all times. The world is a dangerous place: conquer it. Exactly. I understand the consequences these days are more strict. But, if my daughter is justified in defending herself, I'll go to bat for her against the school. She's well aware that she is not to hit or start being physical to anyone unless she is being kidnapped. However, she also knows that if someone attacks her, she can hit back. |
| Everybody gets bullied at some point in their young life. How they handle it shows how they will turn out as an adult. I was bullied and I did some bullying. I was taught to suck it up and handle it myself. Also got my ass kicked trying to bully somebody that I should have left alone. Some of the kids that got bullied, whined and cried to their parents, who went to the school officials. All that did was make those kids get pushed further away from the rest of the kids. Then when they grew up, they still depend on mom and dad to get em out of trouble. My son is small for his age and he gets bullied a little. My instincts are to go up there and kick somebody's ass, but I know it will not be good for him in the long run. I just tell him to kick em in the balls and don't quit until somebody pulls him off. I tell him he will probably get in trouble at school, but when he gets home I will give him some candy or let him shoot my AR or something. Being bullied is part of growing up. Yeah, it sucks to be bullied, but you gotta go through it to be able to handle the real world. You will have bosses, co-workers, friends, enemies, wives, husbands, and many more in your adult life that will be much worse bullies than those you encounter in school. Another reason this country is turning into a bunch of pussies. |
|
i never got bullied in the usual sense. i was always the biggest kid in my class, tends to make the little asswipes to stay clear i have, however gotten in a handful of fights in my time, for various reasons, and for that, my old man, always said "dont start a fight, but you best fucking finish it" which i always did. my school record stands 6-1-0 for fighting. i grew up in a time, and in a region that you did not get suspended, charged with a crime, yelled at for fighting in school, the other kids parents never called and threaten to sue or demand to pay for medical bills. it was what it was, kids fighting. what happened is you got punished, like detention, or had to come in on Saturday morning and do yard work at the school, etc etc my school also had snowmobile/4 wheeler parking, and was accepted that opening week of hunting season, your attendance was "whatever" |
|
My dad knew full well how standing up for yourself would fuck you over in the school system and through legal channels. He taught me to document everything, bitch to the school about it, and if shit got bad with inaction on their part, sue the fuck out of them. We came very close to filing a lawsuit once. They saw the threat (of a lawsuit, not the bullying) as credible and dealt with the problem. To this day I've never been in an altercation, and live by the motto, "If I end up in a fight, someone's leaving in a body bag." |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
My parents did not really push the fight back thing. They did have that mentality though - I totally got away with hitting a girl in the face with a tree limb once.. I also never got bullied much so that may have been part of not emphasizing it. Note to self...Do not piss you off 
I used to say I was sweet once upon a time, but after thinking about it I may need to stop saying that... |
|
Quoted:
I realize this is ARFCOM suicide to post this in GD, but what the hell... I'm bored When I was in grade school, I got bullied. Not afraid to admit that, because I eventually handled it. Years of bullying my mother finally was able to sit down with the principal of my small private (Catholic) school. Principal told her there was nothing they could (Would) do. So my mother looked at me and said "Next time he touches you, pushes you, etc. Kick his ass" Principal told her she couldn't say that. Mother told her to shut up, then repeated what she said to me. The next day said kid came up and tried his usual shit. I palmed his head and slammed it into the wooden beam on the playground twice. That was 8th grade and this had been going on for 7 years. I have had 0 issues since. I guess what I'm having a hard time understanding is why parents do not encourage self defense. I'm not saying instigate shit. Absolutely not. I was taught to never start a fight, but to always finish it. I was told if I defended myself, nothing would happen to me. But if I started shit, my parents said, more or less, they would kick my ass themselves. So, How many people here were taught or teach their kids this mentality? OP, your mother taught you right! Sometimes you have to fight. This is what my father taught me. This is what I teach my kids. You stand up for whats right. If you cower to bullies, you always will. |
|
Quoted: My dad knew full well how standing up for yourself would fuck you over in the school system and through legal channels. He taught me to document everything, bitch to the school about it, and if shit got bad with inaction on their part, sue the fuck out of them. We came very close to filing a lawsuit once. They saw the threat (of a lawsuit, not the bullying) as credible and dealt with the problem. To this day I've never been in an altercation, and live by the motto, "If I end up in a fight, someone's leaving in a body bag." see, i think a good old fashioned fist fight with an equal opponent is vital to a well rounded development during adolesense (sp). builds character, teaches the kid what a punch feels like. i remember my first fight with someone that was little bigger and older than i was, that first punch square to my suck was startling. knowing what a real solid punch feels like, and know what to expect is vital in a self defense role..
|
|
Quoted:
OP, was your grade school in the Cincinnati Archdiocese? And, before any one asks, no, I have never had my head bounced off a wooden beam, but I, too was bullied at my Catholic grade school until I punched my bully in the face.  Negative, Columbus Diocese. I have 0 contact with any of those people, or the specific one anymore. Which is funny. Most of them went on to Private High School and then from there College in various places. I went on to Public High School, College/Army, and here I am today. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
My parents did not really push the fight back thing. They did have that mentality though - I totally got away with hitting a girl in the face with a tree limb once.. I also never got bullied much so that may have been part of not emphasizing it. Note to self...Do not piss you off
I used to say I was sweet once upon a time, but after thinking about it I may need to stop saying that... 
You seem sweet enough 
|
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
My dad knew full well how standing up for yourself would fuck you over in the school system and through legal channels. He taught me to document everything, bitch to the school about it, and if shit got bad with inaction on their part, sue the fuck out of them. We came very close to filing a lawsuit once. They saw the threat (of a lawsuit, not the bullying) as credible and dealt with the problem. To this day I've never been in an altercation, and live by the motto, "If I end up in a fight, someone's leaving in a body bag." see, i think a good old fashioned fist fight with an equal opponent is vital to a well rounded development during adolesense (sp). builds character, teaches the kid what a punch feels like. i remember my first fight with someone that was little bigger and older than i was, that first punch square to my suck was startling. knowing what a real solid punch feels like, and know what to expect is vital in a self defense role.. I agree with this. My brother has been in multiple fights, most of them in the ring. The handful that were outside the ring had people leaving to go to the hospital or doctors office. As a result, we tend not to get fucked with, which is nice 
|
|
Quoted:
My dad knew full well how standing up for yourself would fuck you over in the school system and through legal channels. He taught me to document everything, bitch to the school about it, and if shit got bad with inaction on their part, sue the fuck out of them. We came very close to filing a lawsuit once. They saw the threat (of a lawsuit, not the bullying) as credible and dealt with the problem. To this day I've never been in an altercation, and live by the motto, "If I end up in a fight, someone's leaving in a body bag." I laughed. |
|
Things are alittle different now..
I tell my kid to avoid it. But when push to shove. Knock their dick in the dirt. Make sure you were defending yourself and not instagating it. I WILL BACK UP MY KID. There are other schools But only one kid. My kid is a Black Belt cadidate in Krav Maga 
|
|
I was a boxer since age 9 . Small town everybody knew me, so did have many problems. A few guys
tried to test me , most I convinced to meet me at boxing practice that evening. the ass whipping they got while wearing headgear and 20 oz gloves convinced them they didn't want a streetfight with me at all. |
| I was bullied exactly one time. In kindergarten. When I looked at the teacher (who saw it happening), she said "stand up for yourself." I think I broke his finger or something. Never got bullied after that because I no longer could be a victim to people like that. Later spent a good deal of effort in high school cracking down on bullies. My school admin appreciated it since it wasn't them having to do anything in any sort of official capacity. |
|
I was bullied in elementary school.
I fought every time. Got my ass kicked a lot, but sometimes I won. They always knew that I would fight, so they always thought twice before messing with me. It just came down to whether they actually wanted to fight or not. Whenever I won, their older brothers would kick my ass. But then my older brothers would kick their asses, and when it came down to it my older sister would join my brothers in kicking their asses. Over time, I didn't feel bullied I just felt like sometimes I needed to get in a fight to get people to back off. Some of my past bullies became some of my best friends all through middle school and high school. I guess we just came to a mutual respect. I think I am a better person for the experience. Experiencing Human nature helps you become a better human. |
| I will teach my kids to stand up for themselves. The only real fear I would have as a parent is that without supervision, a fight can go to far. But again, I am going to teach my kids to take care of business if it needs taking care of. I never took much shit growing up, but that's not something my father taught me. |
|
Quoted:
I was bullied exactly one time. In kindergarten. When I looked at the teacher (who saw it happening), she said "stand up for yourself." I think I broke his finger or something. Never got bullied after that because I no longer could be a victim to people like that. Later spent a good deal of effort in high school cracking down on bullies. My school admin appreciated it since it wasn't them having to do anything in any sort of official capacity. This. My now Senior H.S. Daughter, who has been taught Pentjak Silat by me, since she could stand, 'cracked down', in grade 6. A large bully boy would take girls lunch money, push them around, etc. One day, 'bully boy' made the mistake of slapping her best friend, and, my Daughter put his lights out, I mean K.O. Got called to school figuring she would be suspended, however, I knew the principal, and he pretty much thanked me, off the record, for solving his problem. Bully Boy got neutered, and, never acted up again. |
|
Quoted:
I realize this is ARFCOM suicide to post this in GD, but what the hell... I'm bored When I was in grade school, I got bullied. Not afraid to admit that, because I eventually handled it. Years of bullying my mother finally was able to sit down with the principal of my small private (Catholic) school. Principal told her there was nothing they could (Would) do. So my mother looked at me and said "Next time he touches you, pushes you, etc. Kick his ass" Principal told her she couldn't say that. Mother told her to shut up, then repeated what she said to me. The next day said kid came up and tried his usual shit. I palmed his head and slammed it into the wooden beam on the playground twice. That was 8th grade and this had been going on for 7 years. I have had 0 issues since. I guess what I'm having a hard time understanding is why parents do not encourage self defense. I'm not saying instigate shit. Absolutely not. I was taught to never start a fight, but to always finish it. I was told if I defended myself, nothing would happen to me. But if I started shit, my parents said, more or less, they would kick my ass themselves. So, How many people here were taught or teach their kids this mentality? I learned some bullies could actually fight and I had to come at them with a rock or a stick. That bullshit " stand up to a bully they are cowards" was normally bad advice. |
| LOL I am 6'6" 40+ years of juijitsu and a 1st generation American of mixed Highlander-Viking stock...my daughter is a duplicate she was 5' in 4th grade and being bullied as she is not to fight in school.... I told the vice principal, guidance counselor and her teacher in a conference....you are not doing anything to protect my baby...she can protect herself....if you have a problem, I have a lawyer that will climb up your ass....worst is the bully was a boy and smaller than her..that week...he started and she hit him with her lunchbox, with a stainless steel thermos in it...the teacher just smiled..no more problems |
|
I got bullied in grade school, I guess being shy and introvert made me a target. It ended with a fight and never happened again.
My son is five but twice the size of other kids his age, he got bullied by two kids half his size and cried. he didn't know how to handle with someone being mean to him for no reason. But it was a good learning experience for him, now he says next time some kid is mean to him 'I will bop the shit out of them!" LOL he came up with that one on his own. |
|
It is comforting to know that there are people who have similar experiences and are raising their kids in a similar manner.
And dare I say, the whole concept is American. Don't start the fight. But by God, if someone picks one with you, you best fucking finish it. |
| My Dai Sempai was a senior and was walking down the hall, saw a little kid being wailed on by a big kid..the teachers were standing there...he walked up to the big kid, kicked him once and heard a crack in his leg.. The teacher said..you are getting suspended for fighting..He told him...OK at least the little guy is not dead from you doing nothing...Told me, 'Sensei, you always told me to protect the weak' He became a Marine after High school. |
|
Liquor store by my house sold knifes to kids. I used to get one dollar a day for lunch from my parents, I never ate lunch. I would save up the dollars and buy knives. For some reason I never got bullied. I got cornered a couple times, but always got out of it just fine. |
|
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: My dad knew full well how standing up for yourself would fuck you over in the school system and through legal channels. He taught me to document everything, bitch to the school about it, and if shit got bad with inaction on their part, sue the fuck out of them. We came very close to filing a lawsuit once. They saw the threat (of a lawsuit, not the bullying) as credible and dealt with the problem. To this day I've never been in an altercation, and live by the motto, "If I end up in a fight, someone's leaving in a body bag." see, i think a good old fashioned fist fight with an equal opponent is vital to a well rounded development during adolesense (sp). builds character, teaches the kid what a punch feels like. i remember my first fight with someone that was little bigger and older than i was, that first punch square to my suck was startling. knowing what a real solid punch feels like, and know what to expect is vital in a self defense role.. I agree with this. My brother has been in multiple fights, most of them in the ring. The handful that were outside the ring had people leaving to go to the hospital or doctors office. As a result, we tend not to get fucked with, which is nice Heh, I was raised by a capital litigation attorney and a probation officer.  ETA: When I was little, my dad guessed (correctly) that I would end up a gun nut, especially after I caught a severe case of black rifle disease at age 4. His lesson was, to live as someone who avoids conflict at almost all costs, to build up a narrative to aid you in a self defense shooting case. While that certainly points to how fucked up our current world is, I think that advice is good in modern times. |
|
15 years ago, my son was one of two white kids in his 6th grade class. Most of the other kids liked him because he was a good athlete and he always got picked for games. A couple of his classmates didn't like him because of his skin color. They jumped him and beat him up. The Principal who was not white refused to punish the other two kids because no adult saw it happen. Kids did, but that wasn't good enough for her. Then, she suspended my son three days for fighting. I went ballistic, pointing to my kid, I asked her if he had done that to himself. She did nothing.
Over the next week, I trained my son to defend himself. I showed him where to strike, and how to strike. I also prepared him to be suspended from school, and told him it would be OK - that he wasn't in any trouble with me or his Mom. We were having fun training, so we kept on doing it every day. Two weeks later, the same two kids came up to him on the playground and pushed him to the ground. He got up and throat punched the kid who pushed him down. That kid fell down gasping for air. The other one took a swing, but my kid stepped inside it and punched the kid square in the nose. Blood was gushing everywhere. My son turned, jumped on the first kid and started raining punches down on him. Finally, a teacher pulled him off the kid. All three kids were suspended for three days. I told the Principle that this happened because of her inaction. I also told her that this will happen every single time someone attacks my son. Not surprisingly, he wasn't bothered once the rest of the year. After the school year, I moved my family out of the city and to the burbs. He never had a problem again. |