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Site News Could You Have Stopped This? Vegas Shooting Analysis with Attorneys on Retainer

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Ron Swanson (Page 1 of 2)

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10/24/2012 2:56:00 AM EDT
I don't watch much TV at all, but I was recently introduced to Parks and Rec on Netflix.  If you've never seen the show, check it out.  Ron Swanson is a right-leaning alpha male that hates government.  He is a master of all trades, sleeps with all sorts of hot women, hoards gold, and loves guns.  In one episode he pulled a hidden bug out bag from the HVAC ducts and took off to his remote cabin.

I cannot believe I'm seeing this on a prime time TV sitcom.  Like it or not, Ron Swanson is the face of our movement.  And I'm happy to see he's not portrayed as a weak, stupid, fat worthless beta male.
10/24/2012 2:58:15 AM EDT
[#1]
Give me all of your eggs.
10/24/2012 3:12:15 AM EDT
[#2]
It’s never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teet until they have sore, chapped nipples.
10/24/2012 3:32:21 AM EDT
[#3]
Ron Swanson is an American Treasure
10/24/2012 3:36:54 AM EDT
[#4]


10/24/2012 3:39:24 AM EDT
[#5]
I love Ron Swanson. Some of his lines are fantastic and the ones that aren't hilarious are usually true statements concerning society or the government.
10/24/2012 3:46:49 AM EDT
[#6]
I'm on my phone, or I would host and post, but the pyramid of greatness pic needs to be in this thread.
10/24/2012 3:50:01 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
Give me all of your eggs.


Wait.

Wait.

I'm concerned that what you just heard was "bring me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was "Bring me all of the bacon and eggs that you have." Is that clear?
10/24/2012 3:50:43 AM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
I'm on my phone, or I would host and post, but the pyramid of greatness pic needs to be in this thread.
10/24/2012 3:52:02 AM EDT
[#9]
Archie Bunker for the 21st century.
10/24/2012 4:32:42 AM EDT
[#10]
Stop, you had me at meat tornado.
10/24/2012 4:34:19 AM EDT
[#11]
Probably the best character on TV right now. Without him, I probably wouldn't bother watching Parks & Rec.
10/24/2012 4:38:55 AM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:In one episode he pulled a hidden bug out bag from the HVAC ducts and took off to his remote cabin..


"You should know I keep a sizeable amount of ground chuck in my desk drawer, remove it, or it will begin to smell"
10/24/2012 4:40:50 AM EDT
[#13]
Quoted:
 He is a master of all trades, sleeps with all sorts of hot women, hoards gold, and loves guns.  In one episode he pulled a hidden bug out bag from the HVAC ducts and took off to his remote cabin.



He rushed for his bug out bag because he heard his ex wife was coming to town.

10/24/2012 4:44:32 AM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
Quoted:
 He is a master of all trades, sleeps with all sorts of hot women, hoards gold, and loves guns.  In one episode he pulled a hidden bug out bag from the HVAC ducts and took off to his remote cabin.



He rushed for his bug out bag because he heard his ex wife was coming to town.



And grew a beard in two days, lol.
10/24/2012 4:51:33 AM EDT
[#15]

 
10/24/2012 4:58:16 AM EDT
[#16]
And the actor is a master working with wood. YouTube has a video of him building a canoe.



Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
10/24/2012 5:00:27 AM EDT
[#17]
"I was born ready, I'm Ron f***ing Swanson!"

"This is a claymore mine. Use it to protect your property."

"This is a Sig Mosquito. Used in Switzerland by their pussy police force." later- "Yeah, I regifted."
10/24/2012 5:01:12 AM EDT
[#18]
My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe...when he desires them.
10/24/2012 5:04:44 AM EDT
[#19]
The man ate a pussy so hard his mustache rubbed off!!!

10/24/2012 5:05:32 AM EDT
[#20]
I think they modeled this guy on me.  And I'm not joking!!


10/24/2012 5:06:49 AM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
http://stretchcast.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/I-can-do-what-I-want-Ron-Swanson-Parks-and-Recreation.jpg  
10/24/2012 5:11:37 AM EDT
[#22]
I want a "Ron Swanson for President" shirt.
10/24/2012 5:12:07 AM EDT
[#23]
I am Ron Swanson without the sweaters, gut, and moustache.
10/24/2012 5:12:53 AM EDT
[#24]
Quoted:
I want a "Ron Swanson for President" shirt.


They exist. Google.

10/24/2012 5:14:14 AM EDT
[#25]
10/24/2012 5:17:39 AM EDT
[#26]
“I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.”


“The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful.”


"I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toed boot. But this hotel always served bacon wrapped shrimp. That's my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food. I'd go to a banquet in honor of those Somali pirates if they served bacon wrapped shrimp."


10/24/2012 5:17:40 AM EDT
[#27]
I need to get into that show.  I hear great things.
 
10/24/2012 5:20:44 AM EDT
[#28]
10/24/2012 5:22:51 AM EDT
[#29]
10/24/2012 5:26:58 AM EDT
[#30]



Quoted:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq2CwGgz73Q






 
10/24/2012 5:29:52 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
I need to get into that show.  I hear great things.  


Ron Swanson and Tom Haverford make the show.  

The Snake Juice episode is fantastic...but you need to watch a few other episodes first so you can appreciate seeing Ron dancing around wasted.

10/24/2012 5:30:19 AM EDT
[#32]
10/24/2012 5:33:15 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
I need to get into that show.  I hear great things.  


I love the show. I work for the local .gov, and we're a big one at that, so not too many similarities, but it is kind of an "Office Space" for us.
10/24/2012 6:39:40 AM EDT
[#34]
“On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”
10/24/2012 6:59:08 AM EDT
[#35]
Yeah, Ron is probably the primary reason I watch Parks & Rec!  

My favorite scene is when he's in Lowe's and one of the employees comes up to him and asks if he needed some help with his project.  Ron simply responds with: "I know more than you."  
10/24/2012 7:01:11 AM EDT
[#36]
Nick Offerman is a pro-level amateur woodworker.
10/24/2012 7:08:28 AM EDT
[#37]
I swear the character was modeled after a RE Broker I worked for.  Come to think of it, I've known everyone in the show.
 
10/24/2012 7:08:57 AM EDT
[#38]



Quoted:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq2CwGgz73Q


"Clean as a whistle"



I love Ron Swanson



 
10/24/2012 7:11:57 AM EDT
[#39]
He's the spitting image of my brother-in-law, which is a little weird.
10/24/2012 7:16:29 AM EDT
[#40]
10/24/2012 7:17:28 AM EDT
[#41]



Quoted:


Nick Offerman is a pro-level amateur woodworker.


What does that mean exactly?

 
10/24/2012 7:19:24 AM EDT
[#42]
Ron: Swansons have a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his cornflakes.
10/24/2012 7:20:14 AM EDT
[#43]
Quoted:

Quoted:
Nick Offerman is a pro-level amateur woodworker.

What does that mean exactly?  


You know, like Lindsay Lohan is doing a prostitute's job, but not getting paid for it.
10/24/2012 7:26:21 AM EDT
[#44]
Quoted:
Quoted:

Quoted:
Nick Offerman is a pro-level amateur woodworker.

What does that mean exactly?  


You know, like Lindsay Lohan is doing a prostitute's job, but not getting paid for it.


He does it because it is a sort of passion for him.

10/24/2012 7:27:57 AM EDT
[#45]

  • (On fishing) "It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something"
    •
    10/24/2012 7:36:30 AM EDT
    [#46]



    Quoted:


    Nick Offerman is a pro-level amateur woodworker.


    It's a little more than that, now. He actually has paid clients. He's a Pro.

     
    10/24/2012 7:37:55 AM EDT
    [#47]



    Quoted:



    Quoted:


    Quoted:




    Quoted:

    Nick Offerman is a pro-level amateur woodworker.


    What does that mean exactly?  




    You know, like Lindsay Lohan is doing a prostitute's job, but not getting paid for it.




    He does it because it is a sort of passion for him.



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIA2Xl8P7Es


    Seems like a cool guy.  I see Amazon Prime has the 1st 4 season for free streaming.  Might have to start watching.  



     
    10/24/2012 7:40:12 AM EDT
    [#48]
    How can you not like I guy that has a claymore on his desk?
     
    10/24/2012 7:47:32 AM EDT
    [#49]
    Quoted:
    How can you not like I guy that has a claymore on his desk?  


    And gives them to kids, too!
    10/24/2012 7:51:10 AM EDT
    [#50]
    Quoted:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0ALxdrq4bk


    12 minutes ... not wasted
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    [ARCHIVED THREAD] - Ron Swanson (Page 1 of 2)

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