Posted: 3/22/2012 5:45:50 PM EDT
|
Mr. Wong and Mrs. Wong got married and had a baby, but when the baby was born it was white. Mr. Wong looked at the doctor and said: "Two wongs don't make a white."
and Go! |
|
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet." Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!" |
|
A goat, a dog and a walrus walk into a Best Buy.
The goat is approached by a helpful Best Buy employee who asks what the goat is looking for. The goat rolls his eyes and tells the Best Buy associate to scram. The dog is a little bit upset in how the Best Buy employee was treated by the goat, so he walks over to the Best Buy employee who has slinked off into the large appliance section, that he is sorry for his partners rude attitude and would like to offer the Best Buy employee a lick on his cheek. The Best Buy employee decides to take up the dog for a free lick. The walrus, after witnessing all of this shakes his head and waddles over to the blu-ray aisle to grab a copy of Sex & The City II. |
|
The manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked. "John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled. "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority," he said. "I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling." The manager said, "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you..."
|
|
Quoted: Mushroom walks into a bar. Barkeep says "We don't serve your kind." Mushroom says "Why not, I'm a funguy (fungi)"  Reminds me of this one... The String brothers were notorious for getting in bar fights. One night the bar tender threw them for starting a fight. One of the String brothers wanted to keep drinking so he went outside and messed up his hair then walked back into the bar and ordered another beer. The bar tender said "Didn't I just throw you out? Aren't you one of the String brothers?" The guy said "No, I'm afraid not." (String with messed up hair ––> Frayed knot).  |
