[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Am I wrong here? (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 12/12/2011 7:59:24 AM EDT
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So the wife unit wanted to go to the Unit Xmas party. My friend, whose wife is friends with mine, did not want to go. My wife asked me to see if my friend would go because she would like for someone to talk to at the part. I got friend to go and we got the next day off of work and went shooting. My wife even suggested that he and I go shooting. Now, he and I have not been to this rifle range in almost a year and a half. It's been something I've wanted to do for a while now and she knew that. She encouraged it so I set it up to happen. She knew about this for over a week. She said, when are you leaving? I said 0930-1000. When are you coming back. We'll leave at 15 or 1600 at the latest. She said, well can you be back before sundown? I said, I'll be home as soon as I can be. The drive to my friends house is a hair over or under 20 minutes depending on traffic. The drive out there is pretty much 1 hour. We left his place at 1030, stopped for gas and food in a drive through. Got there about noon. Shot until 1530-1545ish. She called at a quarter till 1600 and asked where I was. I said that we were leaving then. I was on the road 10 minutes after that phone call. He stopped for food a BK on the way home. Got to his house, unloaded the guns and ammo into my truck and then off to the house I went. I got home at 1730. House was empty, car was gone. I actually said "oh, she mad". I finished putting up the Christmas lights and wiring everything. Got inside, sat down for a minute and decided I was hungry and ran out for some take out. At a quarter to 9 at night, I finally texted her to see if she and my two year old were ok. No response so I called her. I said where are you? Are you ok? She said I'm driving. We got into an argument when she got home. Then I got the silent treatment for the rest of the weekend. Yesterday she informed me that she's going to her parentin in VA this weekend to "get away from everything" WTF!?! I TOLD HER WHERE I WAS GOING, WHEN I WAS GOING TO BE BACK AND WHEN WE WERE LEAVING!!! During our argument, is said, this is so fucking typical of you. You tell me to do something, act all approving of it and when I do it, you get absolutely livid about it. She retorted, I give you an inch and you take a mile. FML Clif notes: Wife asked to go to Xmas party and told me to go shooting the next day with friend sicne we go the day off Wife asked when I would leave and come home Said leave at 10am and leave the range at 4pm Drive there is 1hr got there at noon shot till 4 Got home at 530 had to drive 20 minutes from friends house wife is pissed and giving me the silent treatment Wife wants to go to VA to "get away from everything" I want to beat my head into a wall |
"oh, she mad"
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Quoted: Um. Your story seems to say you got home 1.5 hours later than you said you would. I'll be home at 1600 and I got home at 1730. Her responce seems harsh unless you constantly pisser her off by doing things like being 1.5 hours late. No, I said I would leave the range at 1600. 1hr drive + 20 minutes from his house. I was 10 minutes later than expected. My friend stopped for dinner and there was a wreck on the way home which accounts for the other 10 minutes. |
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Quoted: Quoted: She wanted to go to the party WITH YOU. You didn't pick up on that. She did go with me. Of course, she makes her intentions about as clear as mud. Wait ... what? Your story makes it sound like the shooting trip was the day of the party. I'm thinking that there are two players in the "poor communication skills" game at home. She asked you what time you would be back, and you told her what time you would leave the range. That's bullshit. She asked you if you'd be home by dark, and you gave her a bullshit answer.
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Does whether you are "right" or "wrong" make any difference as to what you are going to do? this. IMO the story as you posted, she is being unreasonable. she "gives" you an inch???? i dont care if you didnt "take the mile" the fact that she has, or acts like, or thinks that she has that control over you..... |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: She wanted to go to the party WITH YOU. You didn't pick up on that. She did go with me. Of course, she makes her intentions about as clear as mud. Wait ... what? Your story makes it sound like the shooting trip was the day of the party. I'm thinking that there are two players in the "poor communication skills" game at home. She asked you what time you would be back, and you told her what time you would leave the range. That's bullshit. She asked you if you'd be home by dark, and you gave her a bullshit answer. No she asked when I would leave the range. I told her 4. She KNOWS how long it takes me to get back. She ASKED if i could be home by dark. I pretty much was. She made no intentions known of what she wanted to do. She drove to Jacksonville which is an hours drive to "run errands" fucking news to me as he never uttered a peep about it all week. The range was the day after the party. |
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She wanted to go to the party WITH YOU. You didn't pick up on that. She did go with me. Of course, she makes her intentions about as clear as mud. Wait ... what? Your story makes it sound like the shooting trip was the day of the party. I'm thinking that there are two players in the "poor communication skills" game at home. She asked you what time you would be back, and you told her what time you would leave the range. That's bullshit. She asked you if you'd be home by dark, and you gave her a bullshit answer. This. If you won't be home by dark, don't bull-shit her and make her think you might. It sounds like you intentionally missled her. Regardless, if this is all that happened, she is over reacting. What's the rest of the story? |
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It doesn't matter what she said using the English language.
She told you something else, in a different language, and you either missed it or you pretended not to hear. If you try to make ammends, you will admit that the other language exists, and will be held to compliance in the future. You do not want this. The proper course of action is to continue to be ignorant and unresponsive to the other language. If she wants something, she needs to tell you in plain English. If this upsets her, then let her be upset. If she leaves you for a weekend, take the opportunity to go shooting again. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Does whether you are "right" or "wrong" make any difference as to what you are going to do? this. IMO the story as you posted, she is being unreasonable. she "gives" you an inch???? i dont care if you didnt "take the mile" the fact that she has, or acts like, or thinks that she has that control over you..... I still get guilty feelings for buying two boxes of .45. Shit, I haven't bought .45 in a while. It's funny though, because when WAL MART had the 5 box limit or whatever it was, she acted like it was cool and then she bought some because I couldn't buy more. I haven't bought pistol ammo in a year because it's not worth the headache of answering to why I spent 45$ on three boxes of ammo. |
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Quoted: No she asked when I would leave the range. I told her 4. She KNOWS how long it takes me to get back. She ASKED if i could be home by dark. I pretty much was. She made no intentions known of what she wanted to do. She drove to Jacksonville which is an hours drive to "run errands" fucking news to me as he never uttered a peep about it all week. The range was the day after the party. You've just changed your story. In the original post, she asked when you would be back. The means ... be back. Not leave someplace else. Your original question is "Am I wrong here?" Well, wrong about what? You are as vague in your communication and intention as she is. It strikes me that you've got two passive-aggressive "adults" acting like children. Get counseling.
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Quoted: It doesn't matter what she said using the English language. She told you something else, in a different language, and you either missed it or you pretended not to hear. If you try to make ammends, you will admit that the other language exists, and will be held to compliance in the future. You do not want this. The proper course of action is to continue to be ignorant and unresponsive to the other language. If she wants something, she needs to tell you in plain English. If this upsets her, then let her be upset. If she leaves you for a weekend, take the opportunity to go shooting again. I plan on doing this. She gave me the option, go to some sort of function or she was going to VA. There was no prior discussion to either one of these things and the decision was to be made on the spot. Obviously, I don't feel like being in the same house as her if she's going to be like that. I said, go to VA |
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Quoted: Quoted: No she asked when I would leave the range. I told her 4. She KNOWS how long it takes me to get back. She ASKED if i could be home by dark. I pretty much was. She made no intentions known of what she wanted to do. She drove to Jacksonville which is an hours drive to "run errands" fucking news to me as he never uttered a peep about it all week. The range was the day after the party. You've just changed your story. In the original post, she asked when you would be back. The means ... be back. Not leave someplace else. Your original question is "Am I wrong here?" Well, wrong about what? You are as vague in your communication and intention as she is. It strikes me that you've got two passive-aggressive "adults" acting like children. Get counseling. Sorry, I misspoke. She asked when I would be home. I said we would leave there at 4 at the latest and that would put me home around 5-530. I clearly stated that to her. I do not play these fuck fuck games because I HATE it when people do it to me. |
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Quoted: I plan on doing this. She gave me the option, go to some sort of function or she was going to VA. There was no prior discussion to either one of these things and the decision was to be made on the spot. Obviously, I don't feel like being in the same house as her if she's going to be like that. I said, go to VA You probably don't realize that your child observes and understands this petulant behavior. |
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How long have you been married? 5 years Kids? They have a two-year-old. Too late for the "For the love of humanity, please don't breed!!!" request. It does change the dynamic though. He has two choice: admit fault, beg for forgiveness and wait for this to happen again, or fight, let her go to VA and risk the dissolution of his family. Both options suck and will likely end up with the same outcome in the future. |