[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Divorce help (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:41:11 AM EDT
| Wife decided to pull the pin after 7 years and two kids later. I'm trying to look at the bright side that she can get medical assistance for the kids now and food support until she gets a job. But not being able to see my kids every morning or when I get home from work is making me into an angry prick. She is moving out the first of the year with all the kids. My two and my two step kids. The older two are hers with a former boyfriend. |
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Wife decided to pull the pin after 7 years and two kids later. I'm trying to look at the bright side that she can get medical assistance for the kids now and food support until she gets a job. But not being able to see my kids every morning or when I get home from work is making me into an angry prick. She is moving out the first of the year with all the kids. My two and my two step kids. The older two are hers with a former boyfriend. How do I keep from emptying my loaded mags everywhere? ??? Depending on what state you are in the medical assistance and food support will come out of your pocket. In our state the father has to pay the state back for any of those services used. I believe that is until the divorce is final, but I could be wrong. |
| I believe in Minnesota the county covers the female and the kids. My two are 3 and 6. The step kids are 9 and 13 and I know they would rather live with me which is the hard part. I love my kids more than anything. Tried counseling and it helped a little but she doesn't want to try anymore. Says she will never be happy as long as she is with me. I tried doing more around the house like cooking and cleaning thinking she was upset that she did most of it. Didn't work. So I'm thinking since her mind is made up about leaving, I need to find a room mate to offset some costs. Cause I'm sure the checks are going to shrink. |
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I believe in Minnesota the county covers the female and the kids. My two are 3 and 6. The step kids are 9 and 13 and I know they would rather live with me which is the hard part. I love my kids more than anything. Tried counseling and it helped a little but she doesn't want to try anymore. Says she will never be happy as long as she is with me. I tried doing more around the house like cooking and cleaning thinking she was upset that she did most of it. Didn't work. So I'm thinking since her mind is made up about leaving, I need to find a room mate to offset some costs. Cause I'm sure the checks are going to shrink. Does she work? If so, who does more with the kids? In a better world, the courts would award them to the WORKING parent as they are in a better position to provide for those children. If she doesn't and you do. She was pissed off you didn't DO enough around the house?!!!??? She will never be happy and will die a miserable broken hag. Sue her ass for custody of your 2 children at the very least. I am sorry Op. I know you are hurting real bad, you just need to get to a place in your head where you get that she is doing you a huge favor regardless of the financial hurt she wants to inflict on you. From now on document everything. Bruise on kid, photo and entry in a the log. Ripped clothes... Kid visits says Mommies new boyfriend was mean.. noted and so on. You need to be methodical, I know some ARFCOM members have been able to turn situations like this around in their favor, hopefully they will chime in. Get your advice via IM from here on out. |
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Go empty your mags at the range. Use it to vent, but do no harm to people or property. You picked badly. Welcome to our club. Make sure you fight for your parental rights, and don't turn your back on the kids. My son is 14 now. Been just the 2 of us for going on 8 years. My ex was with me for 15 years, and my son was close to 7 when she left. At first it hurt, until it didn't, and then it felt great!
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| I would like to conserve ammo. Maybe a few mags at the range would help. She said she wants to do this civilly. She does not work but this state tends to side with the mothers. I'm trying to avoid a battle with her. I still love her but she doesn't love me anymore and I can't force her so I have to let her go. I guess for my kids' sake anyways. Not seeing us unhappy maybe. |
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I would like to conserve ammo. Maybe a few mags at the range would help. She said she wants to do this civilly. She does not work but this state tends to side with the mothers. I'm trying to avoid a battle with her. I still love her but she doesn't love me anymore and I can't force her so I have to let her go. I guess for my kids' sake anyways. Not seeing us unhappy maybe. You have to approach this defensively. Assume she is going to turn into the she bitch from hell and be prepared to counter here every move. If she is civil you can just play that card but be prepared for the worst |
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I would like to conserve ammo. Maybe a few mags at the range would help. She said she wants to do this civilly. She does not work but this state tends to side with the mothers. I'm trying to avoid a battle with her. I still love her but she doesn't love me anymore and I can't force her so I have to let her go. I guess for my kids' sake anyways. Not seeing us unhappy maybe. You have to approach this defensively. Assume she is going to turn into the she bitch from hell and be prepared to counter here every move. If she is civil you can just play that card but be prepared for the worst Good advice! |
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First 2 posts nailed it. Look. It's gonna suck. It's gonna hurt. A lot. But the thing to remember is that in the end you will be better off. Not to get preachy but it's part of His plan for you. My divorce was one of the best things that ever happened to me. At the time, it hurt. I drank. I smoked pot. It still hurt. I dated, it still hurt. But in time, it got better. I rediscovered myself- found new hobbies (like guns) and met my new future wife. We live together and love together and she loves me for who I am, not who she wants me to be or what she thinks I'll change into. YOU WILL BE BETTER OFF, I PROMISE! |
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I would like to hear from any female hive members on the woman's view. Do I keep trying? Or once her mind is made up, that's it? Please help. You womenz are a mind fuck altogether. And that's ok. Although not a woman, I am a divorce survivor. What reasons has she given you for wanting a divorce? Have you done the marriage counseling stuff? Will she even consider that? |
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I would like to conserve ammo. Maybe a few mags at the range would help. She said she wants to do this civilly. She does not work but this state tends to side with the mothers. I'm trying to avoid a battle with her. I still love her but she doesn't love me anymore and I can't force her so I have to let her go. I guess for my kids' sake anyways. Not seeing us unhappy maybe. You have to approach this defensively. Assume she is going to turn into the she bitch from hell and be prepared to counter here every move. If she is civil you can just play that card but be prepared for the worst Good advice! Go fucking silverback on her ass ASAP before she throws you under a bus |
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Quoted: I would like to hear from any female hive members on the woman's view. Do I keep trying? Or once her mind is made up, that's it? Please help. You womenz are a mind fuck altogether. And that's ok. I'm not a female but let me tell you from experience that when they say they want to leave and they blame it all on you, LET HER GO! Don't chase her, it will only make her more in control of you and the entire situation. You focus on keeping yourself calm and do it for the sake of your kids and yourself. Make up your mind right now that you will not use your guns in anger or frustration, that's hands-off time. Go ahead and make the first moves by changing the locks, hiding your firearms and any other valuables you don't want her to take with her behind your back and above all, get a lawyer pronto! Don't be surprised to see her suddenly change her mind about you once you start preparing for a life without her... and don't fall for it. Best of luck to you man. |
| We did counseling for the last year. Once a week. She said she lost who she was and was always sad. She said she needs to find herself again. Its like she wants to live the youth she lost. Her mom kicked her out when she was 12. Had to grow up fast. Into drugs and crap. Pregnant at 17. Abused by her ex. No real closeness with her family. She had two kids when I met her. Had two with her. Married me 7 yrs ago then I became a cop. Don't think she liked it too much. I told her a cops life is hard on a family. She said she could handle anything. She became a stay at home mom and took care of things at home. Then I thought that she was sick of being in the house. So I made her go out with her friends. I'm not a drinker and she likes to party so I didn't mind staying at home with the kids. |
| Then with her stuck at home all the time she started accusing me of cheating. Which I never did. After living and working in a small town for 6 years she told me last year she was leaving with or without me. I moved out of town knowing that my position was most likely going to be terminated. And it was. It still wasn't good enough. I'm not a cop anymore but miss it. Trying to get back into it. I saw too many broken families as a cop. And so many children suffered from divorce. I just wish she would let me try but she won't budge. One person can't save a marriage that the other doesn't want. |
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We did counseling for the last year. Once a week. She said she lost who she was and was always sad. She said she needs to find herself again. Its like she wants to live the youth she lost. Her mom kicked her out when she was 12. Had to grow up fast. Into drugs and crap. Pregnant at 17. Abused by her ex. No real closeness with her family. She had two kids when I met her. Had two with her. Married me 7 yrs ago then I became a cop. Don't think she liked it too much. I told her a cops life is hard on a family. She said she could handle anything. She became a stay at home mom and took care of things at home. Then I thought that she was sick of being in the house. So I made her go out with her friends. I'm not a drinker and she likes to party so I didn't mind staying at home with the kids. ugh.... Start protecting yourself and your assets now, it WILL get ugly at some point. She will eventully use your kids and your job against you during this, I hope I'm wrong... |
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REDACTEDquote] Make damned sure you never use this expression again, even in jest. If you're smart you will remove it RFN! And YOUD do well to remove it from your quote! OK, idiots- he cant delete all of that if you keep on FUCKING QUOTING HIS OP 
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We did counseling for the last year. Once a week. She said she lost who she was and was always sad. She said she needs to find herself again. Its like she wants to live the youth she lost. Her mom kicked her out when she was 12. Had to grow up fast. Into drugs and crap. Pregnant at 17. Abused by her ex. No real closeness with her family. She had two kids when I met her. Had two with her. Married me 7 yrs ago then I became a cop. Don't think she liked it too much. I told her a cops life is hard on a family. She said she could handle anything. She became a stay at home mom and took care of things at home. Then I thought that she was sick of being in the house. So I made her go out with her friends. I'm not a drinker and she likes to party so I didn't mind staying at home with the kids. I mean this with all the good intent in the world OP, but what this means is she wants go to out and get plowed by other random guys. Heard this from a fiancee and well....yeah....she did- and she did. She didnt have the hard life at home, but once she got out with her friends to the club she resented being "tied down" because none of them were. She went on an epic FAIL fest and last I heard ended up getting knocked up by some guy old enough to be her father. At least shes not doing it behind your back. |
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We did counseling for the last year. Once a week. She said she lost who she was and was always sad. She said she needs to find herself again. Its like she wants to live the youth she lost. Her mom kicked her out when she was 12. Had to grow up fast. Into drugs and crap. Pregnant at 17. Abused by her ex. No real closeness with her family. She had two kids when I met her. Had two with her. Married me 7 yrs ago then I became a cop. Don't think she liked it too much. I told her a cops life is hard on a family. She said she could handle anything. She became a stay at home mom and took care of things at home. Then I thought that she was sick of being in the house. So I made her go out with her friends. I'm not a drinker and she likes to party so I didn't mind staying at home with the kids. She's crazy, go with the eject, survive. Win. |
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How do I keep from emptying my loaded mags everywhere? ??? Make damned sure you never use this expression again, even in jest. If you're smart you will remove it RFN! this and get the folks who quoted it to do the same. You don't think statements like that won't look bad in court? (especially if she decides to go the injunction route for greater sympathy!) |
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redacted? Make damned sure you never use this expression again, even in jest. If you're smart you will remove it RFN! this and get the folks who quoted it to do the same. You don't think statements like that won't look bad in court? (especially if she decides to go the injunction route for greater sympathy!) erm, this means you sparky |
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I know as a parent I would miss my kids greatly if they just walked out the door. Women are really mean son of bitches, believe me.
I know it sucks balls right now but it does get better. Keep that chin up, you will be banging somethingyounger and hotter in no time and dont let her get away with you only getting the kids every other weekend. |
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Lawyer up THis... do it to make sure she doesn't move far away, etc. taking your kids away where you can't be with them when you want... friend of mine ignored my advice to lawyer up for his divorce, he let her lawyer handle it all... now his kids are 5 hours away. 
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Lawyer up THis... do it to make sure she doesn't move far away, etc. taking your kids away where you can't be with them when you want... friend of mine ignored my advice to lawyer up for his divorce, he let her lawyer handle it all... now his kids are 5 hours away. Id honestly see if he couldnt get custody of HIS child. She has made it clear she wants to go be a bar skank. What she does with her 2 children (his step) is her deal. Id raise hell and bring up everything about her "wanting to relive her missed youth" and get custody if it were me. Anyone with half a brain knows what shes implying and the children will suffer because of it. Its pretty clear that shes not great at decision making anyways (no jab at the OP intended). All of this is good ammo of you want to get your kid. |
