[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Fake Orgasms (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 8/3/2011 3:56:53 PM EDT
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I heard a great expression a while ago, I forget where. Women can fake an orgasm. Men can fake an entire relationship.  Here toy go: Women think they're so clever because they can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship, but men can fake a whole relationship for the sake of an orgasm- Playboy, Nov. 2008
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Quoted: Quoted: Maybe it's just the style of video, but she was really fucking annoying. Can I pretend I watched the whole thing?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy2LCAtwrZo27 seconds. |
  
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Quoted:
Quoted:
I heard a great expression a while ago, I forget where. Women can fake an orgasm. Men can fake an entire relationship. Here toy go: Women think they're so clever because they can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship, but men can fake a whole relationship for the sake of an orgasm- Playboy, Nov. 2008 that made me LOL. |
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Maybe it's just the style of video, but she was really fucking annoying. Can I pretend I watched the whole thing? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy2LCAtwrZo
I hate you. 
She's as charming as spastic colon but she's so damn hot I can't stop watching. |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I heard a great expression a while ago, I forget where. Women can fake an orgasm. Men can fake an entire relationship. Here toy go: Women think they're so clever because they can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship, but men can fake a whole relationship for the sake of an orgasm- Playboy, Nov. 2008 that made me LOL. The cite is genuine too. |
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Quoted: Quoted: She is indeed annoying, although she does have some nice nips. NSFW edited out Looks to be a natural red as well, too bad the pics are in B/W, i do love it when it "matches" umm.... are we allowed to post links to nude photos? SILENCE!  I do like her bio where it says she was a vegan but now loves bacon... |
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I grew up waaaaaay out in the sticks in NW Alabama. Once upon a time, [one of] a [whole] family [of] friend[s] was talking on a telephone* to some girl he was sure to impress with his dirty talk. I was significantly younger than the friend and allowed to listen and learn from the one side of the conversation if I promised to keep quiet, which I did.
About halfway through the second ciggerette, things were going well for him; the conversation had actually turned to sex. The friend took a very long draw, looked at me with that "pay attention 'boy' -look" one has, exhaled slowly and asked in our flatwoods Alabama accent, "Honey, do you fake your organisms?" I didn't make a sound because I couldn't breath. * It was a huge family and it was their first telephone**. ** I ain't 'at ode.. 'Ey wuz jiss 'at Poe-ir***. Yeah, I rilly do tawk lie cat. |
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HOW TO FAKE AN ORGASM - THE ANIMATED GUIDE
- Arch your back at a 45-degree angle and pant like a dog. - Recite a couple of bad lines from a B-rated blue movie. Example: Tell big poppa he does it for you like no one else can. - And the basics: "yes, yes, yes . . . harder, harder . . . don't stop!" Then you'll want to immediately slap the nearest pillow. - Mix it up. This means sometimes you'll wanna slap the pillow then scream. Other times you'll want to scream first and then slap the pillow. Men love variety. - Don't forget to suck your finger. - Now for show and tell: ask him whose "it" is, and tell him that its his! - If he switches positions, stops for a rest, or reaches for a drink of water, pay no attention and keep screaming anyways. - Now for the alleged orgasm: scream like a banshee, and begin those kegel exercises. Squeeze . . . release . . . Squeeze . . . Release. - And after sex, don't forget pillow talk. You've had 2 men before him. (okay, 3, tops, but thats your final offer.) |