Posted: 6/24/2011 9:17:13 PM EDT
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Little Letters
––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear Ugly People, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985 ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear Windshield Wipers, Can't touch this. Sincerely, That Little Triangle ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear Nickleback, That's enough. Sincerely, The World –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, Please make one for every skin color. Sincerely, Black people –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dear Osama Bin Laden, Marco.... Sincerely, United States ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear Batman, What was your power again? Sincerely, Superman ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear Customers, Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dear Mr. Gump WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get.... Sincerely, Jenny –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy OK? Sincerely, The Mayans ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear White People, Don't you just hate immigrants? Sincerely, Native Americans –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––- Dear Trash, At least you get picked up... Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– –– Dear Man, It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? Sincerely, Elephant |