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AR15.COM
6/16/2011 5:06:19 PM EDT
3 days in court.  I still have my kids and my $$
Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.
6/16/2011 5:10:24 PM EDT
[#1]
you don't have a uterus do you? if you have your kids you win big time..

6/16/2011 5:24:51 PM EDT
[#2]
You won for the sake of your kids, but you're right in one sense; in the end there are no winners, just separate lives that keep on rolling.
6/16/2011 5:45:33 PM EDT
[#3]
Quoted:
you don't have a uterus do you? if you have your kids you win big time..



Well I guess a MAN can get thier kids
6/16/2011 7:59:42 PM EDT
[#4]
It would be better if I could embed this video, but you might get my point anyway...


http://youtu.be/S9J7XE-ctMU
6/16/2011 8:03:14 PM EDT
[#5]
Quoted:
What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.

Try telling that to other men who've been screwed over by a divorce.  


You're one of the lucky ones.

6/16/2011 8:05:45 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
Quoted:
What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.

Try telling that to other men who've been screwed over by a divorce.  


You're one of the lucky ones.



Don't think it was luck.  I'm just good at chess
6/16/2011 8:20:43 PM EDT
[#7]

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...
6/16/2011 8:23:08 PM EDT
[#8]
There are no winners in divorce.









Honestly I think the marriage process needs a little modernization.  The way I look at it marriage is a legally binding partnership agreement, no different than a business partnership.  I know some will argue that it is a religious institution, which is fine, but the religious aspects of marriage have nothing to do with this world's, courts, attorneys, court orders, houses, bank accounts, stock portfolios, retirement accounts, and...stuff.   Marriage in this world is a legal contract.   I really believe prenuptial agreements should be standard, and carry no stigma.  People buy insurance to cover the misfortune of events they hope will never happen, why not divorce.  










Personally all the knitty-gritty details should be worked out when people are still in love, or at least like, and not in the throws of passion, anger, sorrow, or revenge.   It would be simple to allocate who gets what, establish a method for determining appropriate child support, or alimony.   Work out all the details while you are still kissing.   Not when some bloodsucking attorney is ringing the register stoking your rage.  










Divorce is bad, but the divorce industry in this country is hell.  


 
6/16/2011 8:23:59 PM EDT
[#9]



Quoted:




your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...







 
6/16/2011 8:28:23 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


I can spell divorce right, but I still pay $1,100 a month in child support...
6/16/2011 8:31:03 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


fonix, how duz it werk?  
6/16/2011 8:32:23 PM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:
You won for the sake of your kids, but you're right in one sense; in the end there are no winners, just separate lives that keep on rolling.


So true.  After my 2 1/2yrs of litigation and $60k, I got custody, and she pays CS.  But it never felt like a win.  I just felt like I survived the biggest shitstorm of WWIII.

6/16/2011 8:35:13 PM EDT
[#13]
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9J7XE-ctMU&feature=related
6/16/2011 8:46:26 PM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
Quoted:
you don't have a uterus do you? if you have your kids you win big time..



Well I guess a MAN can get thier kids


I hope you're drunk because no sober man spells as badly as you are tonight....
6/16/2011 9:01:53 PM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9J7XE-ctMU&feature=related


haha

country singers will sing about anything
6/16/2011 9:08:21 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted:
3 days in court.  I still have my kids and my $$
Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.


Nobody wins. But you did the best you could for the kids and are now in a position to offer them the best they could have had in your situation. Now get on with it.
6/16/2011 9:10:09 PM EDT
[#17]
She got the dictionary, you got the kids.....
6/16/2011 11:03:14 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
Quoted:
What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.

Try telling that to other men who've been screwed over by a divorce.  


You're one of the lucky ones.



Bingo.  You did well.  Try that in a state that awards Lifetime Alimony to long term non working spouses.  I got bent the fu** over.  Plus she fu**s with me with visitation all the time.

6/16/2011 11:07:22 PM EDT
[#19]
Glad to hear it worked out for you, OP.
6/16/2011 11:09:20 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
3 days in court. I still have my kids and my $$
Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.


It might take a while for it to sink in, but you did WIN.
Good for you and the kids.
I know of what you speak.
Continue being the best Dad you can be.
All the best to you.

6/17/2011 11:08:15 AM EDT
[#21]
i know alot of good dads, but only a few have custody of their kids. As time goes on you'll realize you won the most important prize of all.
6/17/2011 11:19:31 AM EDT
[#22]



Quoted:


i know alot of good dads, but only a few have custody of their kids. As time goes on you'll realize you won the most important prize of all.


Ya I don't know any that kept custody of their kids. Usually it's very one sided.



 
6/17/2011 11:21:26 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted:
There are no winners in divorce.

Honestly I think the marriage process needs a little modernization.  The way I look at it marriage is a legally binding partnership agreement, no different than a business partnership.  I know some will argue that it is a religious institution, which is fine, but the religious aspects of marriage have nothing to do with this world's, courts, attorneys, court orders, houses, bank accounts, stock portfolios, retirement accounts, and...stuff.   Marriage in this world is a legal contract.   I really believe prenuptial agreements should be standard, and carry no stigma.  People buy insurance to cover the misfortune of events they hope will never happen, why not divorce.  

Personally all the knitty-gritty details should be worked out when people are still in love, or at least like, and not in the throws of passion, anger, sorrow, or revenge.   It would be simple to allocate who gets what, establish a method for determining appropriate child support, or alimony.   Work out all the details while you are still kissing.   Not when some bloodsucking attorney is ringing the register stoking your rage.  

Divorce is bad, but the divorce industry in this country is hell.  
 


The cut of your jib, I like.

6/17/2011 11:23:04 AM EDT
[#24]
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


As part of the divorce his ex-wife got his ability to spell.
6/17/2011 11:27:26 AM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


As part of the divorce his ex-wife got his ability to spell.


6/17/2011 11:39:25 AM EDT
[#26]
Quoted:
Quoted:
There are no winners in divorce.

Honestly I think the marriage process needs a little modernization.  The way I look at it marriage is a legally binding partnership agreement, no different than a business partnership.  I know some will argue that it is a religious institution, which is fine, but the religious aspects of marriage have nothing to do with this world's, courts, attorneys, court orders, houses, bank accounts, stock portfolios, retirement accounts, and...stuff.   Marriage in this world is a legal contract.   I really believe prenuptial agreements should be standard, and carry no stigma.  People buy insurance to cover the misfortune of events they hope will never happen, why not divorce.  

Personally all the knitty-gritty details should be worked out when people are still in love, or at least like, and not in the throws of passion, anger, sorrow, or revenge.   It would be simple to allocate who gets what, establish a method for determining appropriate child support, or alimony.   Work out all the details while you are still kissing.   Not when some bloodsucking attorney is ringing the register stoking your rage.  

Divorce is bad, but the divorce industry in this country is hell.  
 


The cut of your jib, I like.



Ditto here......either something like that or do away with the no fault divorce options.   The party that decides they want to walk has to file the papers and present to a Judge their reasoning, the other party is present to counter or agree.   At the end of the hearing or series of hearings the Judge can grant a joint divorce and then both parties part with equal footing, joint custody and zero child support.   If a party is found at fault due to infidelity, abuse or simply just tired of being married then they should relinguish some or all of the fruits of the marriage....no alimony...limited custody of the children and no entitlement to jointly held property.  

With no fault divorce....the wife can fuck around on her husband......file for divorce....shed tears in court...get custody of the child and then march down to Child support, get a free attorney courtesy of the enforcement office and then start recieving checks.  

6/17/2011 11:41:46 AM EDT
[#27]
If you go through a divorce, you should be able to at least spell it when it's over.



Gratz on getting the kids.  I got full custody of mine.
6/17/2011 11:47:23 AM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9J7XE-ctMU&feature=related


Beat to the punch.
6/17/2011 12:31:23 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
Quoted:
You won for the sake of your kids, but you're right in one sense; in the end there are no winners, just separate lives that keep on rolling.

So true.  After my 2 1/2yrs of litigation and $60k, I got custody, and she pays CS.  But it never felt like a win.  I just felt like I survived the biggest shitstorm of WWIII.

Quoted:
3 days in court.  I still have my kids and my $$
Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.



Yep, doesn't feel like a big win; just got rid of a big pita.
I also got to keep my son.  Very grateful for that.  
She's done every underhanded, low road trick that she can pull with no consequences or repercussions coming back on her.  the court couldn't care less.  
Now, almost 4 years later from separation (divorced over 2 years), I'm getting dragged back into the property settlement process.  
She refuses to negotiate anything; everything through the lawyers.

Anyway; can you pass on to the rest of GD what that you did right, or that your ex did wrong in order for you to keep your kids and your money?

6/17/2011 12:33:14 PM EDT
[#30]
How did you dads get custody of your children without a vagina?   In Georgia for a father to win custody over their mother she has to either not want the kids, be incarcerated, or the father has to have a mountain of evidence that she is a crack-meth-addict actually dealing drugs and moonlighting as a $5 hooker on the side AND that she physically abuses the children and gives them drugs and access to snuff porn.      
6/17/2011 12:38:14 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
3 days in court.  I still have my kids and my $$
Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.


Did she get your spell-checker?
6/17/2011 12:53:26 PM EDT
[#32]
There is no winning, just surviving. If you have your cash and more importantly your kids you survived pretty well.
6/17/2011 12:53:37 PM EDT
[#33]



Quoted:



Quoted:

3 days in court.  I still have my kids and my $$

Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.





Did she get your spell-checker?


Folks...this GD...the spell Nazi forum is further down.

 
6/17/2011 12:56:13 PM EDT
[#34]



Quoted:




your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...





 
6/17/2011 12:57:53 PM EDT
[#35]
Only time will tell who won and who lost, as a rule both lose in the end.
6/17/2011 1:02:21 PM EDT
[#36]
My divorce was finalised in mid-May.  I got joint custody, no child support, no alimony.  In my county, in central Oklahoma, it is assumed that the father will get joint custody from the start.  

What I won was, a stable environment for my daughters, more say in how they are raised and what they are exposed to.  During my marriage, I was trying to be the peacekeeper, and just let my ex ride roughshod over me regarding my kids (because the ex was allowing her daughter from a previous marriage to do anything she wanted––––at the expense of the kids we had together).  

And, I completely piss off my ex with my girlfriend (because my girlfriend is WAY better looking), and just getting along in life, but better now that she's out of the picture.
6/17/2011 1:05:44 PM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
3 days in court.  I still have my kids and my $$
Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.


The best way to get over one woman is to get under another.
6/17/2011 1:16:53 PM EDT
[#38]
Don't ever retire. Ever.
6/17/2011 1:19:06 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
3 days in court.  I still have my kids and my $$
Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.


This too, shall pass.

6/17/2011 1:21:42 PM EDT
[#40]
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


That was a very dry roast.
6/17/2011 1:22:49 PM EDT
[#41]
That sucks.  
6/17/2011 1:32:53 PM EDT
[#42]
Quoted:

your first mistake was trying to spell divorce by sounding it out...


6/17/2011 1:40:18 PM EDT
[#43]
It's like a really successful surgery.  Yay.  Everything's better.  
6/17/2011 7:08:07 PM EDT
[#44]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
You won for the sake of your kids, but you're right in one sense; in the end there are no winners, just separate lives that keep on rolling.

So true.  After my 2 1/2yrs of litigation and $60k, I got custody, and she pays CS.  But it never felt like a win.  I just felt like I survived the biggest shitstorm of WWIII.

Quoted:
3 days in court.  I still have my kids and my $$
Most painful 3 days of my life.  What is really strange is I don't feel like I'm a huge winner.





Yep, doesn't feel like a big win; just got rid of a big pita.
I also got to keep my son.  Very grateful for that.  
She's done every underhanded, low road trick that she can pull with no consequences or repercussions coming back on her.  the court couldn't care less.  
Now, almost 4 years later from separation (divorced over 2 years), I'm getting dragged back into the property settlement process.  
She refuses to negotiate anything; everything through the lawyers.

Anyway; can you pass on to the rest of GD what that you did right, or that your ex did wrong in order for you to keep your kids and your money?



You know it wasn't "one" thing that I did right, or "one" thing she did wrong.  It was a combination of things.  I had to literally climb Mt. Everest with arms/legs tied.  She threw everything at me, she lied, gave reach arounds to the local popo. She had her "friends" lie on these BS charges.  I had 1 felony & 1 misdemeanor charge in addition to the custody fight.  She refused to cooperate on ANYTHING, she thumbed her nose at Temp Orders, denied me access to my child.  I just stayed focused, had a awesome atty. my atty. got me in touch with the person that did the home study, and that was the deciding factor.  My atty. coached me every step of the way.  My ex got hammered in Court by the Judge, for not following TRO's, my ex even got her atty. held in contempt because he assured the Judge that my ex was going to start following TRO.  My atty. made him put his ass on the line, and he was later fined $2000 because ex-wife still wouldn't follow TRO. The home study found the reality of the situation.  I was focused on my child, and it was clear that I wanted whatever was the best for her.  The ex, had her head up her ass, dumping the child w/anybody, falling on every penis in sight, not creating a positive atmosphere for the child.  Its been 4yrs since my divorce was finalized.  The ex still refuses to talk, cooperate, work with me.  She initiated the divorce, she had her eyes on CS, half of my pension, thought she was going to get a free house.  But, it didn't work out that way for the ol' girl.  All I ever wanted was to be in my child life.  I wasn't the one who decided to divorce.  And she tried to force on me all of her new ambitions of being a dirty whore, living on whore island.  

I know.....paragraphs!  How do they work?  At least I can spell!


IM me, I'm in TEX.  And I know the laws are different, but I will be glad to give moral support.  Good Luck
6/17/2011 7:18:02 PM EDT
[#45]
A lifelong family friend was just murdered by his wife yesterday before she drove to Oklahoma and committed suicide

So comparatively speaking, you came out a winner. It could always be worse.
6/17/2011 7:20:42 PM EDT
[#46]
Your mind will catch up with the good after you can settle down from the roller coaster you just went through.  Takes time to settle in when going through a divorce.
6/17/2011 7:28:35 PM EDT
[#47]
I hope I never have to go threw one but it might happen one day.....
6/17/2011 7:34:41 PM EDT
[#48]
Grats on getting custody.



I got my 3 ten years ago, and it was a victory.
6/17/2011 7:55:41 PM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
A lifelong family friend was just murdered by his wife yesterday before she drove to Oklahoma and committed suicide

So comparatively speaking, you came out a winner. It could always be worse.


Wow.  No winners there.