Posted: 5/6/2011 8:12:26 PM EDT
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A majority of you people here on Arfcom have probably gone through this before.
You get that phone call where a family member wants to use your truck, Or borrow money. I have an Aunt that is pretty damn persistent. One time I hauled a whole truck load of old doors and wood materials after a remodel. The guy never came to pickup the crap and I have no clue if he was even responsible to remove it. I got involved and spent about 3 hours of my free time loading it up and driving it to a recycling center. I knew she was going to pay me gas money since i burned a 1/4 tank of gas doing this work. I got back to her place and she handed me a $5 bill. I was freaking pissed off to no end especially when she pulls 6 figures. Well today I got a call from my Mom who wants to Borrow $100 to fix my brothers truck, Then then the Aunt calls up and wants me to haul more shit for her. Now let it be known, I've borrowed money to ONE family member once and I actually got it all back 1 week later. I swore to myself that I would not borrow money to anyone and I was not going to haul shit anymore. |
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Mom doesn't want to borrow $100, your brother talked her into asking you because he doesn't have the guts to ask you himself.
Aunt, just ell her you are busy and then go be busy. Once you start loaning out yourself and your truck, you'll have a line a mile long who figures you have nothing else to do but pick up their crap. |
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I'll only loan things to my dad. Love my mom, but she can be...rough on things. Comes from her side of the family. I learned at a very very young age to not loan anything to my mom's brothers. They never took care of anything and if they returned it, there was a 95% chance the item wasn't going to be in working condition.
I've never been asked for money (at least directly) by family. After my grandfather died, I would give my grandmother $50-100 whenever I had it to lend. Other than my parents and my grandmother, not very close with anyone else in either side of the extended family. My sister lives 10 hours away. I did haul a load of her belongings 1300 miles, she bought me dinner.  Didn't do it for money or anything else, but an offer would have at least been nice.
Helped my brother-in-law move once, spent an entire day moving the contents of a 2 BR apartment 20 miles in the bed of a Toyota pickup. I think his dad bought me a pizza.
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Here's what I have learned.
If you are going to help move shit for family, expect to do it for free. If family asks for monies, expect it to not come back, consider it a gift. Been there, done that. No more cash, period. I don't mind helping any other way, but no cash. Wife's daughter asked for $300 today to cover rent. No. We never got the "loan" for the deposit back, $350, two years ago. Her shit bag boyfriend has bought two guns in that time, and now wants to SELL me one or both. Saiga 12 g and a Tapco pimped SKS. 
Not interested. 
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Quoted:
A majority of you people here on Arfcom have probably gone through this before. You get that phone call where a family member wants to use your truck, Or borrow money. I have an Aunt that is pretty damn persistent. One time I hauled a whole truck load of old doors and wood materials after a remodel. The guy never came to pickup the crap and I have no clue if he was even responsible to remove it. I got involved and spent about 3 hours of my free time loading it up and driving it to a recycling center. I knew she was going to pay me gas money since i burned a 1/4 tank of gas doing this work. I got back to her place and she handed me a $5 bill. I was freaking pissed off to no end especially when she pulls 6 figures. Well today I got a call from my Mom who wants to Borrow $100 to fix my brothers truck, Then then the Aunt calls up and wants me to haul more shit for her. Now let it be known, I've borrowed money to ONE family member once and I actually got it all back 1 week later. I swore to myself that I would not borrow money to anyone and I was not going to haul shit anymore. If it were me: .... I'd loan give $100 to my brother ( although unrealistic as him and his wife make maybe 6 times what I do  ) And tell my Aunt that with the prices of gas and everything it would be cheaper for her to call someone else/ rent a uhaul.
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I haven't and would be super careful if I was asked because of the grief my father has been through.
I'm the only one left my dad will help. He used to be pretty generous with lending a hand, he got burned a few times so he's done also. My oldest sister just asked him over the Easter holiday if he would come to her house(3 hrs away) to install a front door. He declined pretty quick. Reason being he did her whole roof on their house driving back and forth last time gas was $4/gallon because she/and husband didn't have the money. They bought a new car like 2 months later. My other sister did the same with her house. I have a good friend, that helps his extended family all the time, but they actually help back so I think rarely it does work out. |
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My 70 year old father helped me move my 4,500 sq foot warehouse this week.
He got lunch for pay. He has a Ford Ranger, I have a Silverado. He takes my truck when he needs a TRUCK My Aunt has borrowed my truck. well as My cousin, ( I moved her twice with it.) One bud of mine I've moved him 3x ! I did get lunch from him. All of my "good neighbors know that they can ask for my truck for any reason. |
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I dunno, I look at situations like this differently.
If a family member asks me to help them move, I do it without expectations of being reimbursed. If a family member asks me for a loan, if I can do it, I will give the loan. Of coarse that is within reason. A couple hundred dollars sure. Couple thousand, probably not. Now, I did have one aunt, that if she was on fire, I wouldn't even piss on her to put her out  . She was just a mean self-centered person and she knew all too well not to ask me for anything. All other relatives, no problems.
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Yea...
It sucks when you have a skill/skills for your family the exploit. I also have a F350... I can't even tell you how many of my family members call me and ask if I will help them move for 20$. (20$ won't even cover the cost of getting to their house.) I am not close to my grand parents but, I will do just about anything they ask. I always think to myself, if my kid mouthed off to my mom/dad I'd whoop his/her ass good. A few select family members I will help. Mostly my oldest brother, he always pays a favor back. Added... Brothers and mom/dad get unlimited free help. |
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I limit it to my mom and step-dad and best friend They would all do anything for me and I'd do the same for them.
My sister is great, but at times I have helped her out and she relies on it to much and asks for more. I won't give her money, but I'll give her some of my time for special jobs like moving, and I'm always here if she needs advice. The rest of my family only gets my advice if they ask for it. |
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My Dad and My Sister have always helped me in return with either rides to an auto shop to get my vehicle or anything else that might come up.
I remember when I was 15 My Dad needed two tires for his car (Recently divorced and no money) I gave him $150. I got a new SKS in return. 
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A while back my daughter (and loser husband) were going through a bad stretch. We loaned (gave) them $1000 to help out. A yr later we got a letter from a bankruptcy attorney identifying us as one of their creditors. Yup, they listed us as a creditor. Guess they don't owe us anymore.
They still hit rough patches and always will. They have no plan, money, or determination. Sucks but you can't pick your family. Like others have said, only offer what you can afford to lose. Being helpful is from the heart not an obligation. |
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Quoted:
A while back my daughter (and loser husband) were going through a bad stretch. We loaned (gave) them $1000 to help out. A yr later we got a letter from a bankruptcy attorney identifying us as one of their creditors. Yup, they listed us as a creditor. Guess they don't owe us anymore. They still hit rough patches and always will. They have no plan, money, or determination. Sucks but you can't pick your family. Like others have said, only offer what you can afford to lose. Being helpful is from the heart not an obligation. Do they have the balls to make contact anymore? |
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Well today I got a call from my Mom who wants to Borrow $100 to fix my brothers truck, Then then the Aunt calls up and wants me to haul more shit for her. Now let it be known, I've borrowed money to ONE family member once and I actually got it all back 1 week later. I swore to myself that I would not borrow money to anyone and I was not going to haul shit anymore. have aunt pay your bother a hudred dollars. He can fix his truck then help her haul shit. as for my family people call me when they need physical help with something which I am glad to do. They help me as well when I need something. money is never something anyone in my family asks for. We don't have any bums in the family though that refuse to provide for themselves other than my wifes sister and she knows better than to ask family for money. |