Posted: 2/15/2011 10:23:25 PM EDT
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Posted this on the Florida forums. Thought I'd put it here.
Sometimes I find myself on this site for entertainment and I stumbled across this: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Gun_control Enjoy the lols. 
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Quoted:
got an alternate link, that site is bloked at werk I'll just post everything on the page here: Gun control was invented by the liberal watchdogs to ensure that the Red States never again attempted to secede from the Union. It was also created to deter logic from ever entering the debate on Criminology. The city of Chicago is a perfect example of how well gun control serves to prevent gun violence. 
Chuck Norris does not need guns, but will destroy you if you try to take them away. Reasons Seeing as how armed criminals have a penchant for felony murder, rape, and robbery, liberals were certain that misdemeanor gun charges would deter them from carrying guns. These rules are easily enforced since everyone knows that all guns used in crimes are purchased in federally licensed gun stores by licensed individuals who register the guns are leave the serial number intact. There is no way that criminals would purchase or steal unregistered, black-market firearms with their numbers filed off. 
This says it all! Famous Gun Control Advocates These famous historic leaders have all implemented gun control, to the immense benefit of their peoples: * Adolf Hitler * Benito Mussolini * Mao Zedong * Josef Stalin * Pol Pot * Idi Amin * Fidel Castro * Kim Jong Il * Joe Biden * Rep. Carolyn McCarthy * Barack Hussein Obama * Sen. Charles Schumer * N.Y.C.Mayor.Michael Bloomberg * William(Bill)Jefferson Clinton Famous Pro-Gun Advocates Some people, nearly always unstable maniacs who live in trailer parks, have spoken out against gun control, such as these evil historic figures: * Thomas Jefferson * Mohandas Ghandi * George Washington * George Orwell * The Dalai Lama * Charlton Heston Criticism Some redneck fools have been critical of gun control. They have claimed that disarming a population will leave them vulnerable to naturally opportunistic criminals. Why nothing could be further from the truth! Criminals would have to yield to gun-free zones as they did at Columbine, NIU, Virginia Tech, Lane Bryant, and the Westroads Mall. Others have pointed out that important American politicians such as George Washington, Patrick Henry, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Charlton Heston have all been supporters of an armed citizenry. However, these people are dead so their opinions do not matter. Potential Sexism A few whining women have complained that gun control is sexist. This is a simple minded fallacy spouted by red leader Sarah Palin. If there is anything the world has learned from anime, it’s that a 300lbs. rapist will easily be defeated by a 105 lbs, 15 year old school girl. There is hardly any case to be said that a woman might need a gun to protect herself against biologically stronger opponents. Since gun control frequently targets low-caliber, low-recoil, easily-concealed handguns that women favor, it is doing a great job of protecting those otherwise at-risk rapists. What kind of politician would want to have his state’s rapists at risk of armed female reprisals? 
Sarah dares you to try and rape her. Assault Weapons Gun control supporters target a group of guns that they call assault weapons, which are rarely used in crime. The fact that they are rarely used is proof that gun control works! The term assault weapon was created by the liberal media to describe a group of scary guns that have military-like features. None of them have automatic fire, but since they look like they do, it is easy to say that someone will modify them to shoot that way. The Federal Assault Weapon Ban (expired 2004) was so successful at stopping crimes committed with assault weapons that the government did not have to renew it! The mechanics of assault weapons make them safer to use. Things like standard capacity magazines, pistol grips, barrel shrouds (the shoulder things that go up), flash suppressors, muzzle compensators, and telescoping stocks allow a homeowner to more readily defend their homes. Otherwise, criminals will not have a fair access to your possessions, wife, children, car, house, or a fair chance to kill you before the police arrive. Conclusion In closing, gun control denies women and the elderly the ability to fight back against attackers. It creates a group of easy prey for criminals. It bans guns with features that make them safer. It tears a Constitutional Right straight out of the hands of citizens. It is also a fashionable cause that celebrities and scientologist love. In short, Gun Control makes perfect sense (and then it links to bat fucking crazy). |
