Posted: 12/16/2010 12:41:24 PM EDT
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... fuse panel in the '06 Jeep Commander, I hope you lost your fucking job in the Chrysler bankruptcy. I hope that you had purchased a vacation home that you were going to pay for with your stock options, and that you lost your job and your options 3 days before closing. I hope that you're still unemployed. I hope you're now homeless, and living behind Chrysler headquarters in a PT Cruiser that smells like your own urine. When designing a fuse panel, it's important to keep in mind that the fuses contained inside of it can interrupt a trip if the wrong one is blown. Remembering this fact, it would be prudent to put the fuse panel in a location that doesn't require a Level 87 Wizard, the Keebler elves, Gumby, and a chainsaw to access. Fortunately, the fuse I was replacing was only for the cigarette lighter, and not for something like the steering column lock. Had your douchbaggery left me stranded on the side of the road, in the dark and rain, I would have left the car on the side of the road. Then I would have taken a bus to Auburn Hills, found your pissy-smelling PT Cruiser, and I would have forcefully relieved you of the last of your earthly possessions to pay for my fucking tow truck. Fuck you, and the piss-soaked PT Cruiser you rolled in on. |
| 9/10 for making me laugh. Had you gone into deeper detail about what you would have done to the engineer, I would have given you a 10. Next time, try envisioning pleasing his former trophy wife while he sobs the tears of a love-scorned hobo as he watches from the urine-soaked front seat of his broken-down PT Cruiser. |
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Quoted:
... fuse panel in the '06 Jeep Commander, I hope you lost your fucking job in the Chrysler bankruptcy. I hope that you had purchased a vacation home that you were going to pay for with your stock options, and that you lost your job and your options 3 days before closing. I hope that you're still unemployed. I hope you're now homeless, and living behind Chrysler headquarters in a PT Cruiser that smells like your own urine. When designing a fuse panel, it's important to keep in mind that the fuses contained inside of it can interrupt a trip if the wrong one is blown. Remembering this fact, it would be prudent to put the fuse panel in a location that doesn't require a Level 87 Wizard, the Keebler elves, Gumby, and a chainsaw to access. Fortunately, the fuse I was replacing was only for the cigarette lighter, and not for something like the steering column lock. Had your douchbaggery left me stranded on the side of the road, in the dark and rain, I would have left the car on the side of the road. Then I would have taken a bus to Auburn Hills, found your pissy-smelling PT Cruiser, and I would have forcefully relieved you of the last of your earthly possessions to pay for my fucking tow truck. Fuck you, and the piss-soaked PT Cruiser you rolled in on. I'm going to say excellent rant. Work with people who work on these piles everyday. I know that all the manufacturers have their issues, but chrysler outdoes them on a daily basis. And that one has some german engineering. |
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I worked for Oldsmobile back in '73 to '76. During this time, the X body came out (Oldsmobile's version was called the Starfire). To change the light bulb in the radio, you had to drop the steering column and pull the entire dashboard out of the car––we are talking about a 2 or 4 hour job. This poor SOB named James Dickerson was journeymaning (learning the ropes) with us and he got to do two or three of these. Under warranty, they paid like 0.25 hours––hey, all it paid for was to change the bulb! Another example of this is the hoses on a 1996 Buick LeSaber (I sold the car before they needed to be changed, as they were just impossible to do), or the OIL FILTER on a 2001 Buick Century (my current car). WHO THE FUCK would put the oil filter wayyyyyy up on the back of the engine, above the transaxel and between the engine and the firewall? It's not like you EVER have the change the oil filter  |
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Hell,just about everything ahs some kind of stupid fucked up engineered shit!! I run into something almost daily that is a pain in the ass. When I rule the world,engineers will be shown no mercy.  Hey, some of us actually work on cars and wouldn't design shit like that if we were in charge of it 
Plus the accountants make us cut corners in designs to save money. |
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Quoted: The new Grand Cherokee looks pretty nice, but I know better than to buy any Chrysler product that doesn't have a Cummins. Truth. I'm a life long MoPar nut. I won't touch anything they made after about '76. A truck with a Cummins would be the only exception. |
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The new Grand Cherokee looks pretty nice, but I know better than to buy any Chrysler product that doesn't have a Cummins. Truth. I'm a life long MoPar nut. I won't touch anything they made after about '76. A truck with a Cummins would be the only exception. Cummins powered Dodge. Best diesel in the worst truck.
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Quoted:
Remembering this fact, it would be prudent to put the fuse panel in a location that doesn't require a Level 87 Wizard, the Keebler elves, Gumby, and a chainsaw to access. 9.5 –– for good prose and descriptive imagery, an example of which is illustrated above. a half point deduction due to excess urine and not enough fecal matter. ar-jedi |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: The new Grand Cherokee looks pretty nice, but I know better than to buy any Chrysler product that doesn't have a Cummins. Truth. I'm a life long MoPar nut. I won't touch anything they made after about '76. A truck with a Cummins would be the only exception. Cummins powered Dodge. Best diesel in the worst truck. A buddy of mine fixed that problem. He yanked the body off of a '93 Cummins powered Dodge 3/4 ton 4x4 and replaced it with a '67 Power Wagon body. |
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Quoted:
... fuse panel in the '06 Jeep Commander, I hope you lost your fucking job in the Chrysler bankruptcy. I hope that you had purchased a vacation home that you were going to pay for with your stock options, and that you lost your job and your options 3 days before closing. I hope that you're still unemployed. I hope you're now homeless, and living behind Chrysler headquarters in a PT Cruiser that smells like your own urine. When designing a fuse panel, it's important to keep in mind that the fuses contained inside of it can interrupt a trip if the wrong one is blown. Remembering this fact, it would be prudent to put the fuse panel in a location that doesn't require a Level 87 Wizard, the Keebler elves, Gumby, and a chainsaw to access.Fortunately, the fuse I was replacing was only for the cigarette lighter, and not for something like the steering column lock. Had your douchbaggery left me stranded on the side of the road, in the dark and rain, I would have left the car on the side of the road. Then I would have taken a bus to Auburn Hills, found your pissy-smelling PT Cruiser, and I would have forcefully relieved you of the last of your earthly possessions to pay for my fucking tow truck. Fuck you, and the piss-soaked PT Cruiser you rolled in on. 8/10 for the rant in and of itself. 11/10 including bonus points for using Wizard, Keebler Elves and Chainsaw all in the same sentance. Nick |
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Quoted: Ok...so spill the beans! Where did they hide said fuse panel??? We've got an '07 Hemi Commander here and so far..... I haven't had the need to play "hide and seek" with the fuse panel. But for if/when I DO...... give me a hint, bro! It's in a panel underneath the dash, near the hood release. Not an unexpected place in and of itself. The problem, though, is that the panel itself is recessed a few inches behind an undersized access door and placed on an angle that could have only been a deliberate attempt to obscure it. Without access to elves, seeing the panel requires you to sever your own head, and place it on the floor under the dash. Because the access door is so small, inserting your hand to change a fuse will completely obscure any vision your severed head may have had, so you'll need to pluck your eyeballs from your severed head and move them inside the access door to actually replace a fuse. Try it tonight... so you aren't figuring it out for the first time in the dark, in the snow, with a screaming kid in the back seat. |