Posted: 7/24/2010 6:21:43 PM EDT
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I was just getting off the phone with my dad today when I got a text from some number I didn't recognize. It said:
"Hey girl. I am coming today. Excited." Awesome, I think, I get to fuck with some dude who thinks he's texting a chick! I queue up "oooooh baby, I can't wait, I'm sooo hot just thinking about it" when my wife looks over my shoulder and shrieks something to effect of "just what in the FUCK do you think you're doing!?" (I may be exaggerating for added humor, but that was pretty close) "Uhhh..." I eloquently reply. So I told her what was up and indicated my mess-with-this-guy's-head intent. She was not amused, making several references to some "karma" BS (I have no idea what game cams and New Year's Eve noisemakers have to do with it but whatever). Fine, I decide to (mostly) play nice. I reply with "Sorry pal, wrong number. Good luck with your score." I figure that's pretty to the point: not going over the line, but giving the ol' winkwinknudgenudge that I know what's up. "Score?" is the almost instant reply. "Hmm" I think. This isn't going as planned. Apparently I'll have to spell it out for the dude, which means he's probably not gonna get much play later, either. "Getting lucky with your lady." Done. Stop bugging me. Then it hit me....what if....? Maybe...? It's a girl on the other end? Events immediately confirmed this suspicion. "Okay wow. I meant i am coming to the party tonight. And this is a girl."  No way! I can ask for pics to show ARFcom! This is gonna be great!
Apparently my wife can divine massive amounts of information from the sounds of the gears grinding in my head. "If you ask her for pics I'm gonna end you. Just be nice." and then something else about this "karma" crap again. Fine, I'll be a gentleman. "Oh well. This is still the wrong number. Have fun at your party." I say. "Okay and you have fun doin whatever it is you do for fun. :)" Alright, now it's over and I can get on with my formerly uneventful day. Not so fast. A few minutes later I get "So what are you up to?" It appears I have a live one on the line. Too bad it's time for me to cut bait. The wife is getting increasingly perturbed by my ongoing conversation with some girl who neither of us have any way of knowing if she's hot. I go for the jugular: "Being married." BAM. That just happened. There is a pause. "Cool. I am working on that." I can tell, sweetie. I can tell. So, what funny exchanges have you folks had with wrong numbers? I'm sure mine is pretty easy to beat, so let's hear them! |
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Let a coworker use my phone because her car broke down on the way in to work. Stupid me thinks she is calling her b/f to tell him about it. Nope. She calls a guy that used to work with at another site. He texts me at 3 am with some stupid as fuck pick up line.  It went very badly for him... Said guy is now afraid of me.  It is kinda funny{to me} in hindsight.. |
| A few weeks ago I got a couple of texts that were obviously from one doctor to another, asking about who was going to cover a certain patient for the weekend. No HIPAA violations, just something like "who is covering pt AB ths wknd?" After the second one I texted back that they had the wrong number. Kind of a pain because I have an ancient phone that really sucks for text. The sender had the grace to say sorry. |
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I used to get calls from some dumb redneck bitch who had the wrong number....several times. I kept TELLING her that I'm not the guy she's looking for. Believe it or not, she didn't believe me...and would call back. Eventually she texted me...so I texted back: "FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG FUCKING NUMBER! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND FIND THE CORRECT NUMBER FOR THE GUY YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING! THAT NUMBER IS NOT...XXX-XXXX, WHICH IS MY NUMBER!!!" That worked. No further contact. Some people are just DENSE. CJ |
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I used to get calls from some dumb redneck bitch who had the wrong number....several times. I kept TELLING her that I'm not the guy she's looking for. Believe it or not, she didn't believe me...and would call back. Eventually she texted me...so I texted back: "FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG FUCKING NUMBER! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND FIND THE CORRECT NUMBER FOR THE GUY YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING! THAT NUMBER IS NOT...XXX-XXXX, WHICH IS MY NUMBER!!!" That worked. No further contact. Some people are just DENSE. CJ That reminds me, I get two or three calls a month for Tracy Jordan. No shit. I think the people calling are collections or something, and I tell them every time that I'm not Tracy Jordan, he's a character on a TV show, and stop bothering me. I'm this><close to telling them I am Tracy Jordan, and if they need their money so damned bad they can just come and get it over my dead body or something. I should probably make sure they don't somehow have my address first. |
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I was just getting off the phone with my dad today when I got a text from some number I didn't recognize. It said: "Hey girl. I am coming today. Excited." Awesome, I think, I get to fuck with some dude who thinks he's texting a chick! I queue up "oooooh baby, I can't wait, I'm sooo hot just thinking about it" when my wife looks over my shoulder and shrieks something to effect of "just what in the FUCK do you think you're doing!?" (I may be exaggerating for added humor, but that was pretty close) "Uhhh..." I eloquently reply. So I told her what was up and indicated my mess-with-this-guy's-head intent. She was not amused, making several references to some "karma" BS (I have no idea what game cams and New Year's Eve noisemakers have to do with it but whatever). Fine, I decide to (mostly) play nice. I reply with "Sorry pal, wrong number. Good luck with your score." I figure that's pretty to the point: not going over the line, but giving the ol' winkwinknudgenudge that I know what's up. "Score?" is the almost instant reply. "Hmm" I think. This isn't going as planned. Apparently I'll have to spell it out for the dude, which means he's probably not gonna get much play later, either. "Getting lucky with your lady." Done. Stop bugging me. Then it hit me....what if....? Maybe...? It's a girl on the other end? Events immediately confirmed this suspicion. "Okay wow. I meant i am coming to the party tonight. And this is a girl." No way! I can ask for pics to show ARFcom! This is gonna be great!
Apparently my wife can divine massive amounts of information from the sounds of the gears grinding in my head. "If you ask her for pics I'm gonna end you. Just be nice." and then something else about this "karma" crap again. Fine, I'll be a gentleman. "Oh well. This is still the wrong number. Have fun at your party." I say. "Okay and you have fun doin whatever it is you do for fun. :)" Alright, now it's over and I can get on with my formerly uneventful day. Not so fast. A few minutes later I get "So what are you up to?" It appears I have a live one on the line. Too bad it's time for me to cut bait. The wife is getting increasingly perturbed by my ongoing conversation with some girl who neither of us have any way of knowing if she's hot. I go for the jugular: "Being married." BAM. That just happened. There is a pause. "Cool. I am working on that." I can tell, sweetie. I can tell. So, what funny exchanges have you folks had with wrong numbers? I'm sure mine is pretty easy to beat, so let's hear them! Well told! Bravo! And yeah, my wife hears my gears turning also. 
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I just added a line for my daughter with a "new number".
Within 6 hrs of having the new line, there's been several calls / texts for " Chyana"....and an automated call from a debt collector. I think I now know why "Chyana" doesn't have this number anymore. This has potential. So far , I've been polite.....but that may change. |
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In high school I called up a female friend of mine, to coordinate a get together with a few people. Sounded
like her brother answered the phone, I said "Hi is Jenny there?" He goes Yah hold on. Hello? Hey Jenny, so ya we're gonna meet up at 4, see you there Who's this? ...... took me about 2 minutes to figure out it was the wrong Jenny, random wrong ## 
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I got a text from some woman in CA that apparently was coming into town for a wedding. After convincing her that I really wasn't her cousin, she was kind enough to invite me to the wedding anyway. 
I politely declined. I'm pretty sure I was a text away from getting invited to whatever party the girl was going to. Her number was in my area code, but hell, I don't even know what state the party was in.
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I got my first ever media message on a new phone a few years back. After several minutes of trying to figure out this newfangled phone I am rewarded with a picture of two fairly large boobs. So as I am staring at these large and ok looking boobs I realize they don't belong to my wife. So I sent a text saying something along the lines of " nice rack but I think it was meant for someone else". I got a text a minute later full of apologies explaining that I was one number off of the boyfriend. My reply was " so what no more pictures", I didn't receive a reply. I showed the wife and she said the boobs were nice. |
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I got my first ever media message on a new phone a few years back. After several minutes of trying to figure out this newfangled phone I am rewarded with a picture of two fairly large boobs. So as I am staring at these large and ok looking boobs I realize they don't belong to my wife. So I sent a text saying something along the lines of " nice rack but I think it was meant for someone else". I got a text a minute later full of apologies explaining that I was one number off of the boyfriend. My reply was " so what no more pictures", I didn't receive a reply. I showed the wife and she said the boobs were nice. I believe there is a standing rule on this subject. Bare boobs are best reserved for an IM. |
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It's my policy not to answer the phone when I'm busy. If they call twice, I'll pick up. My friends and family know this so they can get hold of me if it's important.
A few years ago I was in a lecture on Euclidean n-space when an unknown number called and didn't leave a voicemail. Immediately they called back to I stepped out into the hallway and answered it. "Mr xxxx, this is yyyy from zzz high school. Your son is truant again and has been leaving early. You need to come in immediately to discuss this with the principal." "Sorry, I'm not Mr xxxx, you have the wrong number." "You need to be a man about this, sir, and take responsibility for your child." "You have the wrong number." "We have been trying to reach you for some time and this is the number you gave in your contact information. You need to-" "Lady, I'm 20 years old and it would have to be a massive freak of biology for me to have a high school age student. Some dipshit lowlife gave you the wrong telephone number. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to class and please stop calling this number." |
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My old # was really close to Pizza Hut's # here (337-2323) so we used to get drunk people that would call at all hours of the night... for a while I thought it was funny and would answer the phone after midnight like this... "Pizza Hut, do you want to hear our specials?"
Then I would take their drunk ass order and then just go back to bed... sometimes they would hit redial and I would have to lie that it was on the way and then unplug the phone, but most of the time I would assume that they would call Pizza Hut and bitch them out... at least I like to think so!
- Clint |
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I've had a few problems with a wrong number. If I ever find the guy, his ass is grass. Death by Ma Bell. That's a hell of a story. Any resolution with BoA? They never called back. 
Had some nice conversations now and then with a few collections agency CEOs. Did a lot of talking, heard a lot of listening... 
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My home phone was from a computer company that went out of business 13 years ago. I guess they ripped off a bunch of people, too. No one believed me when I said they have the wrong number and this is a private residence.  I still get phone calls from people looking for them. A few I've actually helped. |
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Best one was my parents were getting random calls at all hours of the night for some Liberal dumbass bartender manager from his random employees. His number was similar to my folks. Anyway, my mom is too nice and couldn't get them to quit calling the wrong number.
They called several times while I was visiting, so I just took control and interrogated the callers,finding out the name of the manager they were calling, the bar he worked at, ect.... I tried to contact the dude, but he wouldn't answer or return my messages, so I started making up shit and telling the employees a story about why they just got fired. The manager then decided to call me and chew me out, which was a mistake on his part. He soon realized that I knew everything thing about him, and after telling me that I should change my number (he didn't know it was my folks number), I pulled the listen here son card, making up a story about going rabbit hunting in the morning and that I didn't do well with lack of sleep due to being woken up, causing me to blow their heads off. He went silent and my folks never got a call again from his dumbass employees. |
My dad bought me a cell phone a few days before my 16th birthday so he could check on me when I got my license and was running around. 4 days after getting the phone I start getting random phone calls in the middle of the night from drunk guys trying to hook up with some "Shania" girl. Apparently Shania used my phone number as a fake to give out to guys at bars and clubs. That was fine until I got the number. It took 3 months for the calls to stop. 
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My mom has the best wrong number stories. Her phone number and Manchester-Boston Regional have the exact same phone number, but with 2 digits switched. She got tired of people calling to check on their flights, so she started to tell everybody their flight was delayed.
I love that mean old lady!
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Get a pre-paid phone number, and get a text that sounded like a mom looking for her kid.
I don't respond, and figure it will go away. Then I get a call from a number that is local, so I answer. Its the mom saying "Where are you" type of thing. I patiently explain to her that she has the wrong number and to quit texting me. Well over the course of a few hours, she calls my number 4 more times. At this point I am getting pissed. I finally raise my voice, and tell her if she calls 1 more time I am calling the police. She the says, "Well fuck you, it's a new phone."
I respond in kind and tell her I don't give a fuck, and hang up. Never called back, I wonder why? |
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My parents home number is close to a hardware store.
When I was just a young lad and over summer break, they would always call at the crack of dawn wanting to talk to people about shit. I always told them that if they got in before 9am, to ask for Frank and they'd get a 25% off early bird discount. |
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"I'm enjoying a nice cocktail. Can I come over tonight"? I reply with "Yes, come over, and we can do the same "thing" we did the other night" "I think you have me confused with some other DUDE" "Still wanna come over?" "How did you get this number?" "I've had it for years." "Oh shit, hi Wave. I meant to text someone else. You are a devious mfucker" |
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In college, we used to get collect calls all the time from "A correctional institution" as the dorm had the same block of numbers as the surrounding ghetto. Much hilarity ensued. One time, someone called asking for Tasha. When he received the message that Tasha was busy "entertaining" fifteen men, and that she was quite the dancer. The caller went ballistic. I told the guy that answered "You probably just put Tasha in the hospital" so people just didn't take the calls, after that. |