Quoted:
I'm sure you got porked and squeeled like a piglet!

Quoted:









You had an anal fissure or some ungodly but poking malady.  I'm not buying the "anal virginity" story.





ETA:  Bacon wrapped piglet.  Serious WIN on a plate.

Quoted:


It was a perirectal abscess, and it doesn't count when the doctor and nurse do the poking.  Well... they SAID they were medical professionals.  I mean...they had an office, they were wearing scrubs and EVERYTHING.  
 

Quoted:
I put my anal virginity in jeopardy and stayed at TRG's place for about 10 days back in February.  .

Quoted:


I bet TheRedGoat has some scrubs.

Quoted:


It was a perirectal abscess, and it doesn't count when the doctor and nurse do the poking.  Well... they SAID they were medical professionals.  I mean...they had an office, they were wearing scrubs and EVERYTHING.  
 

Quoted:


That looks good.


Did ya'll shoot the piglit with full auto?

Quoted:







How did they explain the cameraman?

Quoted:


Not that one.  We were hunting some big tree bottom land tracking what looked like two or three sows with a gaggle of piglets in tow.  It had been raining for over a week, it was cold, and the water in the creek was way up and had a strong current.  TRG has been hunting this place for years and this was my first time on the property.  TRG was in the lead and he could hear the pigs about 35 - 40 yards ahead of him, and he knew the creek made a tight hairpin turn in front of us and the group of pigs were probably held up trying to get across the creek.  He told me to hustle towards the creek and kill as many of them as I could.  

As I advanced through the thick brush down the peninsula I could hear a large sow grunting.  I couldn't see her but I knew she was close.  when I was about 10 yards from the creek, I could see the rump of one of the sows just across the creek about 25 yards away.  Just as I cleared the brush line, TRG had a shot at the sow and took it.  All hell busted loose, and the sow started running left to right at an angle away from me.  I took 4 or 5 shots at her while advancing to the creek.  I couldn't see any impact splashes and she was out of sight in about 3 seconds.  There was about 30 piglets in the group and most of them didn't know whether to shit or go blind, some were on the opposite side of the creek, about 6 or 7 were still in the creek trying to get up the steep bank, so I started shooting the ones on the opposite side... or at least trying to shoot them(I was using one of TRG's SBR and suppressed AR-15's, and the sights were WAAAAY the hell off).  I manged to connect with 3 or 4 piglets on the far bank (.223 does nasty things to football sized critters at 25 yards) when I spotted movement on my side of the creek to my right about ten feet away.  I swung on it, ID'd it as a piglet, and snapped the trigger like I was wingshooting.  I manged to make a clean headshot that cleared the brain and both eyes out of the skull.  The piglets that were across the creek decided to head left directly into TRG's sector of fire, and were greeted by a full auto lower mated with a suppressed 9mm upper.  I then killed the 6 or 7 piglets that were still trying to get up the creek bank.  The entire engagement took about 30 - 45 seconds.

The headshot piglet was the guest of honor at supper.  The others were blown to chunks, lost in the swift water, or a combination of both.
 

Quoted:







oh my  




when O_P cracks on you it has gotten serious  

Quoted:


Not that one.  We were hunting some big tree bottom land tracking what looked like two or three sows with a gaggle of piglets in tow.  It had been raining for over a week, it was cold, and the water in the creek was way up and had a strong current.  TRG has been hunting this place for years and this was my first time on the property.  TRG was in the lead and he could hear the pigs about 35 - 40 yards ahead of him, and he knew the creek made a tight hairpin turn in front of us and the group of pigs were probably held up trying to get across the creek.  He told me to hustle towards the creek and kill as many of them as I could.  

As I advanced through the thick brush down the peninsula I could hear a large sow grunting.  I couldn't see her but I knew she was close.  when I was about 10 yards from the creek, I could see the rump of one of the sows just across the creek about 25 yards away.  Just as I cleared the brush line, TRG had a shot at the sow and took it.  All hell busted loose, and the sow started running left to right at an angle away from me.  I took 4 or 5 shots at her while advancing to the creek.  I couldn't see any impact splashes and she was out of sight in about 3 seconds.  There was about 30 piglets in the group and most of them didn't know whether to shit or go blind, some were on the opposite side of the creek, about 6 or 7 were still in the creek trying to get up the steep bank, so I started shooting the ones on the opposite side... or at least trying to shoot them(I was using one of TRG's SBR and suppressed AR-15's, and the sights were WAAAAY the hell off).  I manged to connect with 3 or 4 piglets on the far bank (.223 does nasty things to football sized critters at 25 yards) when I spotted movement on my side of the creek to my right about ten feet away.  I swung on it, ID'd it as a piglet, and snapped the trigger like I was wingshooting.  I manged to make a clean headshot that cleared the brain and both eyes out of the skull.  The piglets that were across the creek decided to head left directly into TRG's sector of fire, and were greeted by a full auto lower mated with a suppressed 9mm upper.  I then killed the 6 or 7 piglets that were still trying to get up the creek bank.  The entire engagement took about 30 - 45 seconds.

The headshot piglet was the guest of honor at supper.  The others were blown to chunks, lost in the swift water, or a combination of both.
 

Quoted:


Not that one.  We were hunting some big tree bottom land tracking what looked like two or three sows with a gaggle of piglets in tow.  It had been raining for over a week, it was cold, and the water in the creek was way up and had a strong current.  TRG has been hunting this place for years and this was my first time on the property.  TRG was in the lead and he could hear the pigs about 35 - 40 yards ahead of him, and he knew the creek made a tight hairpin turn in front of us and the group of pigs were probably held up trying to get across the creek.  He told me to hustle towards the creek and kill as many of them as I could.  

As I advanced through the thick brush down the peninsula I could hear a large sow grunting.  I couldn't see her but I knew she was close.  when I was about 10 yards from the creek, I could see the rump of one of the sows just across the creek about 25 yards away.  Just as I cleared the brush line, TRG had a shot at the sow and took it.  All hell busted loose, and the sow started running left to right at an angle away from me.  I took 4 or 5 shots at her while advancing to the creek.  I couldn't see any impact splashes and she was out of sight in about 3 seconds.  There was about 30 piglets in the group and most of them didn't know whether to shit or go blind, some were on the opposite side of the creek, about 6 or 7 were still in the creek trying to get up the steep bank, so I started shooting the ones on the opposite side... or at least trying to shoot them(I was using one of TRG's SBR and suppressed AR-15's, and the sights were WAAAAY the hell off).  I manged to connect with 3 or 4 piglets on the far bank (.223 does nasty things to football sized critters at 25 yards) when I spotted movement on my side of the creek to my right about ten feet away.  I swung on it, ID'd it as a piglet, and snapped the trigger like I was wingshooting.  I manged to make a clean headshot that cleared the brain and both eyes out of the skull.  The piglets that were across the creek decided to head left directly into TRG's sector of fire, and were greeted by a full auto lower mated with a suppressed 9mm upper.  I then killed the 6 or 7 piglets that were still trying to get up the creek bank.  The entire engagement took about 30 - 45 seconds.

The headshot piglet was the guest of honor at supper.  The others were blown to chunks, lost in the swift water, or a combination of both.
 

Quoted:







Good Lord, it's like a porcine Apocalypse Now.

Quoted:

How did the little guy taste? Be honest.  I've never had wild veal hog, but I've certainly left some for the vultures.

Quoted:
So is your behymen still intact?

Quoted:

FUCKING AWESOME!!!  My rectum was clean, sweet, tender.  It could have been served in a fine restaurant for a pretty penny.
 

Quoted:




Nope!   I got that WAAAAAAY back when...

Quoted:
I put my anal virginity in jeopardy