Posted: 12/22/2009 4:24:08 AM EDT
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One key aspect of Christianity is the introspection it inspires. Jesus taught how the condition of the human heart is central to who we are, and examining the contents of it is a measure of our spiritual health.
At times God allows me to come face to face with the residual evil that resides in the unsubmitted regions of my heart. At those times I am shocked and horrified at what I am capable of. Selfishness and rebellion bring me to the brink of the unthinkable, and at the edge of that abyss, as I gaze into the blackness, I am confronted with myself. And when I see this part of myself I realize that He is fully aware of it, too. Knowing it is futile to attempt hiding this part of me from Him, I stand silent, without offering cheap excuses or rationalizations. He knows. He and I share the knowledge of the evil I yet harbor. Just we two know its depth and depravity. Nobody around me, family or friends, would suspect the iniquity I struggle to keep buried. This is an aspect of intimacy with God that was unexpected. We tend to think of intimate moments with God as wonderful communion with Him, of peaceful joy and all things good. The thought brings visions of rapturous fellowship, full of innocence and purity. The idea that the worst within us can bring us into an extreme intimacy with our Creator seems shocking at first. What can be more intimate than His Spirit slicing my stone heart open and exposing that which must be excised? In confronting the ugly truth within, we share an intimacy that surpasses mere acquaintance. Just He and I and my latent potential for sin. At those times He speaks to me in a way nobody else can. In the midst of my shame I sense His love. The contrast is startling. I’m aware of what I deserve, yet He stands beside me saying, “We will deal with this next.” I begin to understand that grace is more than unmerited favor. When God made His covenant with Abraham he put the man to sleep and walked amongst the sacrificed animals alone. This signified that He would be responsible for the keeping of the covenant, knowing that his friend, Abraham, would be incapable of holding up his side of it, hindered by his humanity. An aspect of grace I’m coming to understand is that it includes a commitment that I don’t have to confront my sin alone. In catching a glimpse of how far I am from who I should be, I am broken and humbled. In that state my Messiah can begin the task of rebuilding me to reflect His image to the world, still imperfectly, but better than before. It begins with an intimate encounter with Him in the darkest recesses of my heart, where residual evil has yet to be rooted out. |
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(Not intending to self-indulgently bump my own thread. Just sharing my thoughts to anyone who might be interested.)
This experience was like the revelation David had when he realized that no matter how far he went, God was there. "If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there." (Ps 139:8).
It brings up the question, "How can you turn your back on someone who is omnipresent?" No matter which way you turn, there He is. We tend to put on our Super Christian countenances when discussing anything spiritual with other believers, especially how our walk is going. If we were honest, conversations between Christians would be full of confessions of our weaknesses and failings, rather than pretending that we have no need of struggle. I think I'm going to go read some Bonhoeffer... |
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If we were honest, conversations between Christians would be full of confessions of our weaknesses and failings, rather than pretending that we have no need of struggle. This is something that irks me at times. During a study of Paul's letter a few years ago, I was struck with a similar thought. So many Christians present themselves as completely bulletproof. I was even at a baptist Sunday school where the 'teacher' stated that he was incapable of sin because he had been saved! And yet Paul's letters often speak of his own struggles. He writes of the difficulties of living the Christian life. I wondered then, as I do now, if 'struggle' was a requirement. If all seems well with life, am I really bearing full witness for Christ. And then is always the argument by the fundamentalists who frequently deride the need for 'confession.' |
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That's what's so amazing about God's Grace, I don't think I will ever fully understand it. After all the stupid
stuff I've done in my life and all the times I've turned my back on him he never gave up on me. I love what Paul said, the man who wrote most of the New Testament: 1Ti 1:14- The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 1Ti 1:15- Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst. 1Ti 1:16- But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. 1Ti 1:17- Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. |
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If we were honest, conversations between Christians would be full of confessions of our weaknesses and failings, rather than pretending that we have no need of struggle. This is something that irks me at times. During a study of Paul's letter a few years ago, I was struck with a similar thought. So many Christians present themselves as completely bulletproof. I was even at a baptist Sunday school where the 'teacher' stated that he was incapable of sin because he had been saved! And yet Paul's letters often speak of his own struggles. He writes of the difficulties of living the Christian life. I wondered then, as I do now, if 'struggle' was a requirement. If all seems well with life, am I really bearing full witness for Christ. And then is always the argument by the fundamentalists who frequently deride the need for 'confession.' Anyone who thinks they are incapable of sin is out of touch with themselves and reality in general. A while back I was looking into the doctrines of the Seventh Day Adventists. Everything was looking pretty solid until I got to a statement that believers are able to lead a sin-free life. That excludes me. While sin isn't the major characteristic of my life today (compared with BC), if I were to become complacent and drop my guard things would get ugly. We can take a tip from the advice the Lord gave Cain: Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." (Genesis 4:6, 7)
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While sin isn't the major characteristic of my life today (compared with BC), if I were to become complacent and drop my guard things would get ugly. I can relate to this Anyone who is trying to walk the walk should be able to relate IMO. Its like golf! No mattter what your actual score or level of proficiency, you probably only hit three really good shots all day!. In any endeavor, the harder you work towards a specific goal, the more perfect you want your future efforts to be. Despite the fact that you can never actually become perfect. |
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While sin isn't the major characteristic of my life today (compared with BC), if I were to become complacent and drop my guard things would get ugly. I can relate to this Anyone who is trying to walk the walk should be able to relate IMO. Its like golf! No mattter what your actual score or level of proficiency, you probably only hit three really good shots all day!. In any endeavor, the harder you work towards a specific goal, the more perfect you want your future efforts to be. Despite the fact that you can never actually become perfect. Good analogy. Nobody has ever scored 18 in a round of golf. 
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Hi my Name is JusAdBellum and I'm one of the sinners Christ died for.
Seriously, accountability from friends, peers, is vital to any Christian life. Community is vital. The ancient Christians knew this, the Church promotes the idea, so it's not unusual that people continue to reinvent the wheel so to speak. Iron sharpens iron. What's important though is to avoid extremes.... the either/or stuff. "either I'm saved and thus sin's no big deal.... or I'm doomed because of predestination, I can't help it, these sins are too much, too powerful, too whatever..." The first belief isn't biblical and ignores free will and the second isn't biblical and ignores God's grace as well as our own capacity to be changed by God.... Sure, not all sin is the same.... just as not all crime is equal. But neither is grace the same person to person or time in your life to another. Sometimes you'll just go through a dark night. I'm still in one. groping about, trying to just shut up and listen to God rather than do all the talking. I've been blessed though by God and by good Christian supporters. By angels and saints in the cloud of witnesses... avoid extremes. never give up. if you fall, repent, turn back to God, ask for forgiveness even for the 470th time. don't stop believing either in the damage of sin or the power of mercy. |