Posted: 6/25/2008 4:41:47 PM EDT
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Hi, I have a couple of questions for LDS members and I really hope this is not offensive to you. I am just curious about a situation I recently witnessed in Utah, while on vacation. To be fair to those involved, I prefer not to say exactly what the circumstances were, but in general, it involves an outdoor activity in which these folks were guides. Two young people, a young man and a young woman both told us that they came from "Morman" famlies, the young woman being the 11th child, and that they had decided that the practices of the LDS Church were not for them. So, they have found these jobs, which they were VERY skilled at, and left the church, so to speak, and their families(parents and siblings) to strike out on their own and find something meaningful to them. My questions are, would these folks be accepted back into the LDS church after leaving and clearly breaking rules such as drinking alcohol ? Does the church still practice "shunning" ? Thanks for your answers and again, I truely hope this is not offensive to you, if so, please do not answer. From your posts, you folks seem pretty open about your religion and that is why I am asking in this forum. |
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Christ welcomes back anyone that seeks Him. There are people in the LDS Church (just like any religion) that don't practice the beliefs and may become inactive or officially ask that their name be removed from the membership records. In special circumstances members may be excommunicated from the church for specific offenses. These individuals are not banned from church, but they don't get to partake of the sacrament and such. Through repentance they may be allowed "officially" back into the church. I've been inactive for a lot of years and am slowly finding my way back, so hopefully Shane333 comes along shortly to make sure I answered that well enough. |
That just about sums it up. Carry on... 
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This is not a practice of the Church, in fact, it is the opposite of what the Savior taught. People engaging in this practice are as hypocritical as the Pharisees and Sadducees of old. If you experience this, and I can't say you won't, but it is not Church sanctioned, talk to your Bishop. He will help. |
| I have heard of some doing things so terrible (according to themselves) that the church would never accept them back. But from my own personal experiences (and I'm trying to reduce the number of them) there is always a way to come back and everytime it comes with the feeling of reassurance from other than just members of the church. Of course, many don't hesitate to judge others as it is our way to survive in such a world and that goes for members of churches as well. There is a fine line between defending yourself from wrongdoing and judging others for the wrongs they have done. The only thing I can say on the subject is with the exception of your children (and there are times when even they make their own decisions) you are only responsible for yourself. It is both a relief and invites a new responsibility of encouraging others to also do good. Again that fine line of encouraging others and judging them comes up and it is difficult to not overstep any lines. So the answer to your question is anyone no matter what they have done before or after becoming a member can return to the church and take advantage of all it has to offer. |
There is a ton of misconception about the church and its members- especially concerning some of the tight knit members in Utah.  No, there's no such thing as 'shunning,' and never was. Medicmandan has pretty much explained the excommunication thing. I can also assure you, from personal experience , that members of the church are thrilled to welcome inactive members back and do so with open arms. Drinking alcohol or smoking, or something along those lines is not something that most people would even bat an eye at.
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Sorry I was gone for so long that I'm late to the discussion. As others have pointed out very well, there's no such thing as a "shunning" policy in any way or form. We all need The Savior and His Gospel. Having said that I know that sometimes you find families that have their own policy of "shunning" a child they consider wayward. That's a shame because if they really loved eachother they'd at least be trying to keep the lines of communication open. I have a sister that left church activity many years ago. Engaged in many activities that would be considered very contrary to what The Savior would have us do and be. Throughout it all my parents loved her and kept the lines of communication open. In fact, it could be said that my parents bent over backwards to offer her help. We love her and would love for her to return to activity in the church, but either way she is my sister and I enjoy visiting with her. Even with excommunication the hope is that the person will repent and come back to the fold. |
This is a question that is asked of Mormons during a temple recommend interview:
I have had three former friends end our friendship (and they have not spoken to me since), because their Bishop's told them that being friends with an "apostate" was considered "affiliating with an individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." They were told that if they didn't end their friendship with me, their temple recommends would not be renewed. You can call that shunning, or whatever you want. It is just my experience. Scott |
Never heard of anything like that. By and large, that question is intended to address the issue of affiliation with groups like the FLDS, not simply someone who has decided to leave the Church for whatever reason. As a matter of fact, I participate in a discussion board where LDS, non-LDS and former/ex-LDS interact. One long-time board member left the Church a couple of years ago after over 30 years of activity. He and several of the LDS apologists meet frequently in Provo and Salt Lake City for lunch as friends. Some of these apologists are BYU faculty, Church News staff, and they all seem to enjoy each others' company, according to their on-line interactions. Either that Bishop is way out of line, or the anecdote is a bit exaggerated. |
astro's experiences match mine in this respect. I might as well "+1" the other replies by members in this thread as well. Also pay special attention to the underlined portion. Occasionally church leaders such as bishops, branch and stake presidents, etc. end up getting ex'd due to their own failure to follow the commandments and/or personal apostasy. Unfortunately many times members of the congregation are hurt by the examples and/or actions of other members or leaders. I know of some people who were "shunned", but the individuals responsible for the "shunning" were adulterers, etc. and ended up getting ex'd for their actions. There is no church policy to shun or ostracize inactive, disfellowshipped, or excommunicated members. In fact many ex'd members continue to attend regular church meetings, they are just not allowed to participate in meetings as regular members are until their repentance process is complete and they have been rebaptized, etc. People are human and make mistakes. Sometimes people act like jerks and say stupid stuff. Sometimes people look for problems where there aren't any. |
Not exaggerated at all. Two of the three were in the same ward. The bishop had a reputation of being a bit of a Nazi Bishop, so it is understandable. The third was unrelated, in another part of the country, with several years separating the instances. I will admit it is a bit rare. I have heard of similar things happening, but to be fair, it is not the norm. Scott |
Perhaps you're just the type of man that people don't like to be around. |
 Ouch. Is that like "Maybe it's just YOU."I'd say that's an exaggerated anecdote too, or you've willfully misunderstood. You've made your disdain for the church clear in the past, so let me give another less hardhearted reference. FWIW, I was inactive for over 10 years. I lived a life that would have gotten me what you guys are debating about... call it 'shunned' or whatever. Not only was I not 'shunned,' but I didn't lose a single friend- including ones who regularly attend the temple. They may not have agreed with me, and may have felt bad for me and the choices I was making in my youth, but no one ever turned their backs on me. And when I realized the errors of my ways (when I made my mistakes and matured a bit) and was more than ready to go back, I was readily welcomed with open arms, and no judgments whatsoever. The people that I've talked to before haven't even batted an eye- they know we're all sinners, we all have our faults, and that's why we all have Christ's atonement to take advantage of if we so choose Him. 
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That's pretty much my experience as well. The only possible negative in my case is that almost immediately after I returned to church, they called me to be scout master. Nothing like welcoming a guy back. |
 Better watch out. Next thing you know they'll be calling you into the bishopric! |
Don't even say that. Our bishop has been in for well over 5 years. Before our last stake conference, my wife and I got called in to see the bishop. He said that the area Seventy, the Stake President and he wanted to come visit us at our house. Luckily, it wasn't for a calling. Maybe they were scouting us out. |
Obviously, you failed.
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Or maybe they were checking on him for a possible stake position.
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I have found that when some people "leave" the church . . . . . They are not content to just go their way. They want to "take" others with them to justify their "departure" in their minds. This is similar to this gay thing that is going on in Kalifornia. A gay man wrote in a newspaper that he wrote to Salt Lake to have his name removed and then . . . . . . wrote to all of his friends and relatives asking them to stand up and walk out of sacrament meeting to protest the Church's stand on Gay marriage. I don't know ANYONE that has left the church WITHOUT the true reason being based on living contrary to the teachings of Christ. The reason people leave is because they cannot bear the guilt that their actions bring to their souls. I am NOT judging, but rather, simply stating as it is. When people "quote" what is said between others when they were not present to HEAR what was said . . . . is just used to rationalize their behavior. I've seen this time and time again. In my life, I ALWAYS give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Whatever has happened in their life is between them and their Christ. I have been commanded to love everyone, not just the "good" people. Those of us that struggle through the daily challenges of of this life are those that NEED the love and support of others. I will NOT shun anyone . . . . . unless they are trying to "take" me with them. Then, I have to seperate myself from them for MY sake. I have ONLY heard a bishop OR stake president counsel people to stay away from someone else when it is that person's best interest . . . . . NOT as a punishment to another. Peace out! Uncle Al |
I am familiar with several people who have left due to difficulty with doctrinal issues or history. Some fell prey to exaggeration, misinformation, and outright deception; others simply came to an intellectual conclusion that differed from what they originally believed. |