Posted: 10/12/2006 1:04:19 PM EDT
| i live in pretty tough run down area,and the problem is im a wimp.i get verbally abused by the young toughs and once in a while i'll get man handled.not beat up but a group will come up to me and knock grocerys out of my arms.sometimes they will run up from behind and pull down my pants,the worst is they will sometimes get in my face and ask for money they say things like,dont tell me you dont have money.but nothing real physical just menaceing and i have to admit i just wuss out.is there a type of martial art that you can learn fast or am i kidding myself.my girl friend says i should just try to avoid it.she told me some guys just arent tough guys,i got angry but she says she loves me just the way i am.I know she was sincere but i keep thimking of what a wimp i am and it bugs me.i bought books and videos on self defense, boxing,etc.my good friend said no matter how hard i try ill never be a tough guy.he said hes telling me this so i dont get hurt.any advise will be greatly appreciated.oh and please dont suggest i move because the whole city i live in is like this.im just curious what others in my place would do. |
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1. Join a boxing gym... dont read books to learn to box, learn from a human. 2. Lift weights, heavy weights, at a real gym. If you dont know how to do this get a trainer, dont read books. 3. Eat a lot of food. That will tell you if you are interested in progressing any further. Most people who go to the boxig gym dont make it past the second day, probabably 75%. Most people just dont have the mentality to fight. If you dont have it noone can put it there for you. |
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I am going to assume that this is real. And give you an honest opinion. Sounds like you need to work on your confidence and presense. You also need to work on your situational awareness and self defense skills. Predatory (oppurtunistic) people take advantage of those that appear weak. You need to walk with your back strait and head up, look confident. When you walk past people on the street don't look down as you walk past them, don't be afraid to look people in the eyes. You ought to start working out too, lift weigts and do some cardio. If you are chubby do more cardio and get slim, if you are skinny do more free weights,eat and get bigger. You may want to look into a Judo Club,Muay Thai Gym,Boxing Gym or a Kyokushin Karate Dojo. All of these martial arts are full contact and will give you some self defense skills and it will take away your fear of brawling. After you get slammed, kicked in the head and punched up you will learn most pansies are full of shit. Anbd you will be more confident in telling them. Here is an exercise. Next time you are walking down the street and somone gets in your way and pan handles say "No Thanks". No matter what they say, look them in the eye and say "No Thanks". Then keep walking past them, but be aware of them. Learn to look for pre-assault cues, grooming, glancing,posturing. Some people will exhibit this behavior before pan handling too. If you can you may want to look into CCW of a handgun and some other less lethal weapon too, depends on whats legal where you are at. And if shit is bad enough you may want to carry anyway, untill you can move. There are better places to live in the USA than where the streets are filled with scum and you are forced to be unarmed. edited to add Damn DevL I guess great minds think a like. |
This is VERY true, someone that has been victimised is a LOT more likely to be victimised once more because of some kind of attraction by the predator. You don't need to be violent but don't let people walk all over you because they will doit again and again... Like he said, don't look like a target, don't act like a target! |
| thanks for the advise.im not the most intimidating looking person.Im 5'6 145 lbs,i guess im what you would call bookish looking.so I dont know if im going to be able to get away with staring anyone down.i know im nerdy but ive run across articles in magizines about these unarmed combat courses like they teach to green beretsi think it was called SCARS or something like that.the claim was it weeds out all the bullshit and gets right down to the practical stuff where you learn it pretty quick,has anyone else heard of this? |
| see this is where it gets complicated.Im not actually getting mugged or beat up just i guess the best desciption would be i think terrorized would be too strong and picked on too weak,im afraid if i maced some one id probably end up in jail and then id be the same position but worse.i have a ccp but i dont even want to think about that.my girl says just ignore them and forget about it 5 minutes after.But it tough to be like that to admit to yourself "dude face it your a wimp forget about it"you guys know what im saying? |
I have taken the liberty of breaking your post up into paragraphs. I don't mean to "stare" people down, but look them in the eye. Next time you order food from a resturant or buy something from the store look the guy behind the counter in the eye. Learning to make eye contact is important to project confidence, it will effect more than just self defense. Posture is important too, walk with your back strait and shoulders back.And don't stare at the ground when you walk. At 145 you would probably want to bulk up, eat more protein (calories overall) and lift free weights. This will help your posture and confidence too. I model my self defense training after what most of the MMA fighters do. I train with a private MMA study group. Boxing, Muay Thai Kickboxing, Judo, BJJ, and Kyokushin Karate. They will give you technical skill and experience fighting full contact fully resisting opponents. This will also make you confident and not afraid to take a punch. You are not going to get what you need from a video. You need to get beat up and get to beat people up. Thats how you learn to fight. |
| If someone puts their hands on you or threatens you, THEY have victimized you. Fuck that noise. If your GF tells you to let it go, dump her and get someone that will encourage, even demand you have self respect. If you don't stand up for yourself now, you will eventually be the bitch that everyone in your neighborhood robs when they want money. Stand up or don't. Be a human being or be prey to those who see your weakness. OR FIGHT BACK! |
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You will not learn how to defend yourself in two days. I'm not much of violent guy, I've only been in one or two fights my entire life and that was in HS! But nobody messes with me because I don't hang out with the wrong people and I don't look like a victim, plus not many people dislike me. I'm also 5'8 and 135 pounds, some muscle, but def not big. If you are in the wrong place at the wrong time just try to avoid that place or that time!!! It's that simple. Trying to avoid fights is the smartest thing, but getting walked on over and over is not. By the way, how old are you? |
I agree with the entire post,but I think this is the KEY! |
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ronman, check this place out. it's a fanatstic resource for legit self-defense info. you'll need to register to browse but when you do start with the PSP forum to get an idea of what they have to offer. good luck. |
| went to local boxing gym yesterday and checked it out.WOW couldnt have felt more out of place.they sold me a pair of wraps and let me use a pair of gloves,they showed me how to wrap my hands and then i went over and started to hit a heavy bag.A big black boxer came over and gave me some tips,actually he helped me for a good 10 minutes.he had a little smirk on his face the whole time but what a nice guy,made me feel not so nervious.he gave me a little routine to do.if more people where like this guy the world would be a kinder place.still dont know if I am boxer material though. |
Good Deal. Keep it up. Do they have a training program, or is it to each there own? Boxing requires coaching. Eventually you will feel strange if you don't go train. |
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Hey i just kinda browse this forum occasionaly but your story is kinda like mine so i figured i would put in my .02. I am a computer geek so that should tell you some about what i used to be likeh I have never done boxing but if it works for you then do it. Just find something that gives you confidence in yourself. -derek btw, i dont play anymore so im out of shapehave |
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my little cousin was in your situation, he was shorter than most, very skinny, and had the victum look to him. well one year he started lifting in his basement weith his father... 2 years later, he was not so little anny more, and putting up 230-240 pounds, comeing from a 150 pound 17 year old! needless to say he was not picked on once his physical appearance started to show he has muscles. i would say lift and exercise before any martial arts classes... i would recomend peper spray as well, but blasting them with that might cause escelation of the situation. I would not want to be in that position, especialy if they are "thug/gang material" as those are chicken shit and pull the 8 on 1 fights/beatings. |