Posted: 3/13/2017 10:10:33 AM EDT
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It's a bitch. But we all experience it.
How do we survive it, be it from loss of work or unrrdtvaround us or loss of close loved ones? One thing is connections and relationships. They provide you the foundations and security to do one main thing: Embrace it and push in and on thru it. You have to deal with it now or later. Better now and heal. In hard times you may have to defer the process for immediate survival. But when circumstances allow, you must deal with it. Folks, cherish your relationships. Heal broken family ones and forge new true, real ones with friends. Love your children and your parents while you can with all you've got. In closing, you are storing up your treasures for when they are needed most. That is all. |
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Mindless meme drivel. Wow... 
Well truly we will all experience some loss in a bad situation, and knowing how you and others deal with loss is an important thing. Understand that everyone "deals" with stuff like that differently. Wherein you "think" someone should be sitting crying, they may deal with it by digging into work- let them and don't sit and backbite them about it. If you sense the "give me space" feeling, then damn well give them space. If you feel them becoming a little clingy, then deal with it, it will pass in a while. The "if you need anything I'll be there" talk is usually just BS. Your true friends will show up, they will prove themselves. They will be stressed out, probably won't make the best decisions. They will need some rest, a quiet place if possible. If they feel like talking, let them talk, if they want to be alone, give them some space. "Smothering" is usually not a good idea unless they are a cling-on type. |
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Everyone processes grief at different rates in different ways.
I lost my mom to cancer in late 2012. I miss her, but I've worked through the various portions of the grieving cycle. My younger brother is still having a much harder time with her passing than I am or was. |
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You belong in GD. The grownups are talking here, move along. Or, shut up and listen, you may learn something. Quoted:
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Mindless meme drivel. You belong in GD. The grownups are talking here, move along. Or, shut up and listen, you may learn something. No kidding...but more to the point of the OP... I'm glad somebody took the time to post regarding a subject that seems to be unpopular within the preparedness community. Grief is a critter that is distinct. One of the reasons I highly prize One Second After is that the author met this topic head-on. For the YouTube crowd, The Patriot Nurse did a vid on this topic 2-3 years ago, IIRC. How we react to death on a large scale, IMO, would be just as important as our preps regarding food/water/ammo/etc.. It's about being emotionally prepared and I appreciate those in the preparedness community that don't gloss over this important topic. |
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Yeah my loss is real n fresh. And thanks folks for positive posts.
But to the point: grief and fear can be paralyzing. In stressful situations, you can't afford to freeze or wallow around. Lots of people think when the SHTF or that put up or shut up situation arises they will Chuck Norris right on thru it. Fortune favors the prepared is the old saying. Preps are useless if you're paralyzed mentally. I need to put more thought into being mentally clear and well connected. Don't court grief or fear but don't neglect the preparedness lessons we can get out if it. I'm going to read One Second After. Thanks! |
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Very sorry for your loss.
Too many people can't handle loss. As a society, we have more and more citizens who can't seem to handle loss of loved ones. We are all terminal. None of us get out of this life alive. We are eventually going to lose people we care about. It's inevitable. We have to plan for it and then grieve and eventually move on. I lost my mother to cancer almost 10 years ago. I still miss her but I won't allow grief to override living. We have to move on. In a major disaster, death of loved ones is high probability. Knowing how we'll deal with it is critical to survival. |
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OP - it does get better - that guy who posted about it becoming only every other day after 5 years is only half right/ wrong/ joking, but it does get better.
Since its the survival forum - those "survive" shows, like Alone or whatever show it clearly - winning on those shows requires skills and a mindset, and in a real SHTF the mindset and mental issues of dealing with loss are likley to cripple and lead to the failure to survive for so many. We (most) need connections to others, goals bigger than themsleves to make it. OP - reaching out here is good, and in real life. Sorry for your loss and hoping for the best for you! |
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OP has relevant screen name..... 
Grief is real. Philmore can be translated "I don't like spiders....". Just kidding. Thanks folks. We do delve into the mindset for survival here. That's why I came here to bring it up and yes, it's therapeutic for me. All the gear - and I can be a gear whore - won't help me if I'm not mentally strong enough and prepared to use it. And I think networking and maintaining those relationships with people you trust is of utmost importance. Wake up call for me recently on the importance of my family and friends. Also connected thru my kids with another like minded guy who she knows. Totally irrelevant to what's been going on here but that jumped out amongst it all. My goal now after the dust settles is to spend more effort and time on those people who are MY people. They're there for me and I need to be for them. Re-establishing my circle and network for mutual support. And that's here too. Lotsa good info and experience. |
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OP nailed it.
We've had a life changing event that happened about 15 months ago, and through that I've become closer to my mom and my younger brother. My great friends, which I can count on less than one hand, came through for me when I didn't even ask. A few others also supported that seemed to come out of the woodwork, I was shocked. We wouldn't have made it this far without all of them. I believe the support we received taught my kids one of the most valuable lessons they will ever learn. I used to be the tough guy that fixed everything and bailed everyone out..... not so much with this one, and I wasn't even the person with the immediate problem. Whatever has happened, I hope you are as fortunate as I have been. Good luck OP, and thanks for your post. Everything you stated is 100% correct. |
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I've had my share but dealing with it shouldn't paralyze you. I know many people who curl up and basically die when their 85yo mom does, I don't get it...it's almost like they aren't living in the real world. People get old, people die.
I understand grief at young people dying or a son or daughter, that has to be very, very hard. This was the conversation I had with my mom's doc in 2009 (Phone call) Her: I have news you may want to sit. Me: I'm fine, what is it? Her: Are you sure? I can give you a minute. Me: Go ahead Her: Your mom has lung cancer Me: We'll she smoked for decades even when I was in the womb so yea.... Her: Your mom's time is limited Me: She's 80 so it was limited even without cancer, I gotta go Mom was gone a month later but she lived to freaking 80...smoked and drank....I went to work an hour after hospice called and told me she passed....some guys I know would go into full shock an 80yo died.... YOUR PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO DIE BEFORE YOU....why people are surprised I have no idea. |