Posted: 8/6/2010 8:25:35 PM EDT
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Seriously I don't understand the whole concept that if you cdon't trust someone 150 percent all the time you don't have a good relationship. I love my wife and she has never given me a reason to doubt her but god damnit if she does anything out of the ordnary I verify a million ways that it isn't some bullshit. I know plenty of cheating men and women and I don't think my wife would ever do that to me but neither did they. I think full trust is a bad thing. It makes you ignorant to possible problems that are on the horizon and I like to be prepared for everything. If my wife ever turns into one of those sneaky cheating whores I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. Trust but verify. Even good people are capable of turning bad. Being aware of your partner starting to lie to you before it turns into cheating or something could also give you time to salvage the relationship before it goes down the toilet as well. If you trust no matter what you will be ignorant to the problem brewing. |
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Quoted: violating the trust is relative.The key to a life long relationship is for both parties to trust the other 100% not to do anything to violate their trust. If my wife does what she normaly does i have no reason to qeustion the situation. If she does something out of the ordinary i will investigate . I trust she will not fuck up but I have been cheated on in the past when there were NO signs of it coming and everything was perfect. People are too chicken shit to face their problems and are very good at hiding affairs. I don't plan on ever being an ignorant victim of that. My relationship is healthy but verifying anything out of the ordinary is what makes me comfortable enough to just love my wife so that's how I go about things. I don't try and control what she does but I sure as hell make sure there is nothing I don't know about a situation. |
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Quoted: I agree but the point where my trust needs to be verified may be less than others. We are living in a different America where morals don't mean as much. Where your friends and family not only wont intervene when you are being a piece of shit but will often times help you cover it up. A country where people say things like "what happens in vegas stays in vegas" Virtue is not a common principle in this country any more so it is very easy to slip into the darkness even if you have a good start. Societal influences tell you it is natural to cheat and betray and condone it in todays entertainment and media. Bill Clinton is probably the best example I can think of. That piece of shit not only betrayed his wife but he did it in the most sacred office in this country and lied to our faces about it and society still praises that piece of shit scumbag.Quoted: The key to a life long relationship is for both parties to trust the other 100% not to do anything to violate their trust. This. My wife has given me no reason not to trust her so she has full trust. If that changed, I might feel different. . I investigate every possible sign of something out of place. This is what allows me to trust. |
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I agree but the point where my trust needs to be verified may be less than others. We are living in a different America where morals don't mean as much. Where your friends and family not only wont intervene when you are being a piece of shit but will often times help you cover it up. A country where people say things like "what happens in vegas stays in vegas" Virtue is not a common principle in this country any more so it is very easy to slip into the darkness even if you have a good start. Societal influences tell you it is natural to cheat and betray and condone it in todays entertainment and media. Bill Clinton is probably the best example I can think of. That piece of shit not only betrayed his wife but he did it in the most sacred office in this country and lied to our faces about it and society still praises that piece of shit scumbag.
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The key to a life long relationship is for both parties to trust the other 100% not to do anything to violate their trust. This. My wife has given me no reason not to trust her so she has full trust. If that changed, I might feel different. . I investigate every possible sign of something out of place. This is what allows me to trust. What a load of garbage that piece of shit saying is. Married/LTR proponents of it need to die in a fire, yesterday. |
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It's in my nature to be suspicious, It is not called "reasonably jealous" its called "insanely jealous"
My wife is trustworthy, and I trust her. But I can mind fuck myself just like anyone can. All I can do is be 100% trustworthy myself. I am trustworthy and toads dont attract princesses so to speak. 
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I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. . You just keep thinking that. No offense, but let us all know how well the whole knowing and prepping thing works out. |
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Quoted: Quoted: I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. . You just keep thinking that. No offense, but let us all know how well the whole knowing and prepping thing works out. well most likely it wont happen since i am aware of changes in my wife and address them . So far i have exposed a few small problems with my own behavior by my attention to changes in her behavior and was able to fix the situation and make our relationship better. perfect example of this would be last year she started going out with work friends occasionaly. She had never done this before. I investigated and found she was doing exactly what she said she was doing but I wondered "why the chang?" I decided to talk to her about it and it turned out that i was being a hermit and very pesimistic about going out to things she was invited to. I didn't even realize it and now i go out with her and her friends in those situations to make her happy and am invited every time. If I had done nothing but trust The things wouldn't be as good. |
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I am 100% certain that my husband would never cheat on me. I'm sure he'll be along shortly to explain why.  Yep. I watched her put a bullet out of a .44 magnum revolver, off hand shot, dead center in the chest of a steel silouette target at 250 yards away. I'm crazy, but I ain't stupid. Plus, she's great between the sheets. 
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Quoted: Quoted: I am 100% certain that my husband would never cheat on me. I'm sure he'll be along shortly to explain why. Yep. I watched her put a bullet out of a .44 magnum revolver, off hand shot, dead center in the chest of a steel silouette target at 250 yards away. I'm crazy, but I ain't stupid. Plus, she's great between the sheets. lol |
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I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. . You just keep thinking that. No offense, but let us all know how well the whole knowing and prepping thing works out. well most likely it wont happen since i am aware of changes in my wife and address them . So far i have exposed a few small problems with my own behavior by my attention to changes in her behavior and was able to fix the situation and make our relationship better. perfect example of this would be last year she started going out with work friends occasionaly. She had never done this before. I investigated and found she was doing exactly what she said she was doing but I wondered "why the chang?" I decided to talk to her about it and it turned out that i was being a hermit and very pesimistic about going out to things she was invited to. I didn't even realize it and now i go out with her and her friends in those situations to make her happy and am invited every time. If I had done nothing but trust The things wouldn't be as good. TRUST ME if you have to "investigate" AKA "stalking" the spark is gone. Been there, done that, found out the ex was a whore. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. . You just keep thinking that. No offense, but let us all know how well the whole knowing and prepping thing works out. well most likely it wont happen since i am aware of changes in my wife and address them . So far i have exposed a few small problems with my own behavior by my attention to changes in her behavior and was able to fix the situation and make our relationship better. perfect example of this would be last year she started going out with work friends occasionaly. She had never done this before. I investigated and found she was doing exactly what she said she was doing but I wondered "why the chang?" I decided to talk to her about it and it turned out that i was being a hermit and very pesimistic about going out to things she was invited to. I didn't even realize it and now i go out with her and her friends in those situations to make her happy and am invited every time. If I had done nothing but trust The things wouldn't be as good. TRUST ME if you have to "investigate" AKA "stalking" the spark is gone. Been there, done that, found out the ex was a whore. people fail sometimes. You can choose to trust and be a victim. I will choose to investigate and solve the problem before it happens. To each his own. |
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Pffft... I have seen the BEST OF THE BEST relationships where TRUST WAS EVERYTHING and MY WIFE HAS NEVER GIVEN ME ANY REASON NOT TO TRUST HER ... fall apart quicker than anything. It starts small... texts, or phone calls, e mails or whatever... pretty innocent... Then, the stranger becomes a confidant... the wife starts spilling small idiosyncrasies of the marriage to this stranger and that is when it gets bad... he builds up her confidence in him and starts selling his goods. After all, he "would NEVER treat such a queen as herself like her dirtbag husband would" Then, she starts believing the BS stories and next thing you know. She is done with the relationship. It isn't the trust of the wife or husband that you have to worry about, it is the vultures and con artists that have that art form down. I knew a guy that could destroy the best of marriages and after he used up the wife, he would bail leaving a path of destruction behind him and he didn't give a rat's ass who he screwed over. There is a special place in hell for him. He did it for the sport of it. When I asked him, "How can you mess around with a married woman" his response was "Ring don't plug no holes"  And their husbands thought they had the PERFECT marriage too.When my wife's friend got a divorce, it is UNBELIEVABLE at the amount of vultures that came swooping in like she was fresh kill... MARRIED men thinking she was easy prey. Pretty fucking disgusting. I HATE cheaters. ;){kind=icon}
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It starts small... texts, or phone calls, e mails or whatever... pretty innocent... Then, the stranger becomes a confidant... the wife starts spilling small idiosyncrasies of the marriage to this stranger and that is when it gets bad... he builds up her confidence in him and starts selling his goods. After all, he "would NEVER treat such a queen as herself like her dirtbag husband would" I <a href="http://javascript:oUtil.obj.insertHTML('<img%20src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_angry.gif%20/>');" target="_blank">  Take heed guys, truer words have never been spoken. |
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If I didn't trust my wife, I would not be married to her. I just love the guys that come on here and complain about their ex, never thinking about the fact that they chose her. What does that say about the decision making ability?  Says that everyone sometimes makes a mistake. Hope things are going well with your health. I may not post much but saw what you were going through. |
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Quoted: If I didn't trust my wife, I would not be married to her. I just love the guys that come on here and complain about their ex, never thinking about the fact that they chose her. What does that say about the decision making ability? You can trust somebody completely and they can do everything thing they can to make you think they would never do anything to break that trust, and then out of no where they pull some bullshit. I'm dealing with that this week as a matter of fact.  |
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It starts small... texts, or phone calls, e mails or whatever... pretty innocent... Then, the stranger becomes a confidant... the wife starts spilling small idiosyncrasies of the marriage to this stranger and that is when it gets bad... he builds up her confidence in him and starts selling his goods. After all, he "would NEVER treat such a queen as herself like her dirtbag husband would" I <a href="http://javascript:oUtil.obj.insertHTML('<img%20src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_angry.gif%20/>');" target="_blank"> Take heed guys, truer words have never been spoken. I read a text my wife wrote, and it was all about how good I am to her. Maybe people should treat their spouses better
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It starts small... texts, or phone calls, e mails or whatever... pretty innocent... Then, the stranger becomes a confidant... the wife starts spilling small idiosyncrasies of the marriage to this stranger and that is when it gets bad... he builds up her confidence in him and starts selling his goods. After all, he "would NEVER treat such a queen as herself like her dirtbag husband would" I <a href="http://javascript:oUtil.obj.insertHTML('<img%20src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_angry.gif%20/>');" target="_blank"> Take heed guys, truer words have never been spoken. I read a text my wife wrote, and it was all about how good I am to her. Maybe people should treat their spouses better And you are reading your wifes texts WHY? |
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It starts small... texts, or phone calls, e mails or whatever... pretty innocent... Then, the stranger becomes a confidant... the wife starts spilling small idiosyncrasies of the marriage to this stranger and that is when it gets bad... he builds up her confidence in him and starts selling his goods. After all, he "would NEVER treat such a queen as herself like her dirtbag husband would" I <a href="http://javascript:oUtil.obj.insertHTML('<img%20src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_angry.gif%20/>');" target="_blank"> Take heed guys, truer words have never been spoken. I read a text my wife wrote, and it was all about how good I am to her. Maybe people should treat their spouses better Not everyone lives life out of the same playbook. Tell that to the spouses who were treated like gold and left their SO for that "Bad boy" or "trashy girl". I guess Sandra treated Jesse like crap all the time, huh? |
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It starts small... texts, or phone calls, e mails or whatever... pretty innocent... Then, the stranger becomes a confidant... the wife starts spilling small idiosyncrasies of the marriage to this stranger and that is when it gets bad... he builds up her confidence in him and starts selling his goods. After all, he "would NEVER treat such a queen as herself like her dirtbag husband would" I <a href="http://javascript:oUtil.obj.insertHTML('<img%20src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_angry.gif%20/>');" target="_blank"> Take heed guys, truer words have never been spoken. I read a text my wife wrote, and it was all about how good I am to her. Maybe people should treat their spouses better And you are reading your wifes texts WHY? I dont anymore, but I said earlier that I can mind fuck myself as good as anyone |
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Honestly, we have the sort of relationship where if I came home unexpectedly and he was alone with another woman, the thought of an affair wouldn't even occur to me. I just can't imagine being in a marriage where there wasn't complete trust. I don't want to have to stress over if he's where he says he is or why he's home an hour late.
I don't know. It would have to be something pretty dang big to make me suspect something and investigate further. |
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Quoted: Quoted: If I didn't trust my wife, I would not be married to her. I just love the guys that come on here and complain about their ex, never thinking about the fact that they chose her. What does that say about the decision making ability? You can trust somebody completely and they can do everything thing they can to make you think they would never do anything to break that trust, and then out of no where they pull some bullshit. I'm dealing with that this week as a matter of fact. I am sorry bro. I dealt with that with my ex fiancee... Everything was PERFECT and the scenario i posted earlier was what happened to me. It all started with him calling her for the holidays... he played the game for months with her, gained her confidence. All this time she NEVER led on what was going on. One evening, we went out to dinner, came home.... Then came those dreaded 4 words "I'm not happy anymore" We were together almost 6 years.... NEVER saw it coming. Only after she left and I saw the phone bills it all made sense. He conned her so good that he actually beat her one night and locked her in his basement for 3 days. It's not that these women are cheaters, they are weak. My advice: Marry a strong woman who can smell bullshit a mile away. |
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Quoted: The key to a life long relationship is for both parties to trust the other 100% not to do anything to violate their trust. The problem is when you find a woman who, like Bill Clinton, does not believe that giving or getting a blowjob is sex. There are all sorts of stupid people like that in the world. |
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Seriously I don't understand the whole concept that if you cdon't trust someone 150 percent all the time you don't have a good relationship. I love my wife and she has never given me a reason to doubt her but god damnit if she does anything out of the ordnary I verify a million ways that it isn't some bullshit. I know plenty of cheating men and women and I don't think my wife would ever do that to me but neither did they. I think full trust is a bad thing. It makes you ignorant to possible problems that are on the horizon and I like to be prepared for everything. If my wife ever turns into one of those sneaky cheating whores I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. Trust but verify. Even good people are capable of turning bad. Being aware of your partner starting to lie to you before it turns into cheating or something could also give you time to salvage the relationship before it goes down the toilet as well. If you trust no matter what you will be ignorant to the problem brewing. I'm going through something similar right now. I don't know whether to trust her or not. Something just doesn't add up. She might not be cheating. But SOMETHING is going on that's causing her to push me away slowly but surely. It's breaking my heart. And I'm hurting. I'm having to take Xanax from time to time to calm my nerves. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: It starts small... texts, or phone calls, e mails or whatever... pretty innocent... Then, the stranger becomes a confidant... the wife starts spilling small idiosyncrasies of the marriage to this stranger and that is when it gets bad... he builds up her confidence in him and starts selling his goods. After all, he "would NEVER treat such a queen as herself like her dirtbag husband would" I <a href="http://javascript:oUtil.obj.insertHTML('<img%20src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_angry.gif%20/>');" target="_blank"> Take heed guys, truer words have never been spoken. I read a text my wife wrote, and it was all about how good I am to her. Maybe people should treat their spouses better And you are reading your wifes texts WHY? I dont anymore, but I said earlier that I can mind fuck myself as good as anyone Oh, our minds can be our own worst enemy. You can take the most innocent of actions and blow it up in your own mind into a full blown affair. |
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Quoted: Quoted: The key to a life long relationship is for both parties to trust the other 100% not to do anything to violate their trust. The problem is when you find a woman who, like Bill Clinton, does not believe that giving or getting a blowjob is sex. There are all sorts of stupid people like that in the world. I had an ex like that. |
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Quoted: Talk to her. If she loves you then she should do everything in her power to put your mind at ease. It is amazing at what a good conversation can do. She may not even know she is doing it. Sometimes the first thing we push away when we are stressed are the ones that mean the most to us. maybe she feels you are doing the same thing and this is her way of "getting back" and you may not even realize you are doing it. Quoted: Seriously I don't understand the whole concept that if you cdon't trust someone 150 percent all the time you don't have a good relationship. I love my wife and she has never given me a reason to doubt her but god damnit if she does anything out of the ordnary I verify a million ways that it isn't some bullshit. I know plenty of cheating men and women and I don't think my wife would ever do that to me but neither did they. I think full trust is a bad thing. It makes you ignorant to possible problems that are on the horizon and I like to be prepared for everything. If my wife ever turns into one of those sneaky cheating whores I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. Trust but verify. Even good people are capable of turning bad. Being aware of your partner starting to lie to you before it turns into cheating or something could also give you time to salvage the relationship before it goes down the toilet as well. If you trust no matter what you will be ignorant to the problem brewing. I'm going through something similar right now. I don't know whether to trust her or not. Something just doesn't add up. She might not be cheating. But SOMETHING is going on that's causing her to push me away slowly but surely. It's breaking my heart. And I'm hurting. I'm having to take Xanax from time to time to calm my nerves. (of course I dont know your situation NOR am I a marriage counselor. But, sometimes it can be something simple and benign) |
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It starts small... texts, or phone calls, e mails or whatever... pretty innocent... Then, the stranger becomes a confidant... the wife starts spilling small idiosyncrasies of the marriage to this stranger and that is when it gets bad... he builds up her confidence in him and starts selling his goods. After all, he "would NEVER treat such a queen as herself like her dirtbag husband would" I <a href="http://javascript:oUtil.obj.insertHTML('<img%20src=http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/icon_smile_angry.gif%20/>');" target="_blank"> Take heed guys, truer words have never been spoken. I read a text my wife wrote, and it was all about how good I am to her. Maybe people should treat their spouses better Not everyone lives life out of the same playbook. Tell that to the spouses who were treated like gold and left their SO for that "Bad boy" or "trashy girl". I guess Sandra treated Jesse like crap all the time, huh? I wasnt trying to sound like that. Obviously you dont have the final say whether or not someone breaks your heart. MOST of these threads come down to the spouse feeling neglected. This is for the most part avoidable. Again I dont mean to sound condescending. |
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A buddy and I took our families Moose hunting once. We would leave the Wives and kids at the camp and go out. One evening (it doesn't get dark till real late up North during the summer) the wife and I went 4wheeling. We climbed to the top of a hill, some people in the lower 48 would call in a mountain, and I turn to her and say, "Babe, sure is a beautiful place, you know, there is land down there that no man has ever stepped on."
She just looks at me and says, "Whatever, it's pretty." I follow up with, "a dead cheating wife could disappear forever." She looks at me again and says, "your so fucking dumb, I wouldn't ever do that. I'd leave you first." I ask her every Christmas Eve if I'm home and not deployed if she "wants to go fishing?" Same response every time..."You're an ass." I am grateful that I have NO trust issues. Question everything your wife does? Try being away from home for over a year at a time. That BS would get old quick for me. I do trust my best friend... her life depends on it...J/K. |
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Quoted: good advice but heres option 2 from my side of the coin.Quoted: Talk to her. If she loves you then she should do everything in her power to put your mind at ease. It is amazing at what a good conversation can do. She may not even know she is doing it. Sometimes the first thing we push away when we are stressed are the ones that mean the most to us. maybe she feels you are doing the same thing and this is her way of "getting back" and you may not even realize you are doing it. Quoted: Seriously I don't understand the whole concept that if you cdon't trust someone 150 percent all the time you don't have a good relationship. I love my wife and she has never given me a reason to doubt her but god damnit if she does anything out of the ordnary I verify a million ways that it isn't some bullshit. I know plenty of cheating men and women and I don't think my wife would ever do that to me but neither did they. I think full trust is a bad thing. It makes you ignorant to possible problems that are on the horizon and I like to be prepared for everything. If my wife ever turns into one of those sneaky cheating whores I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. Trust but verify. Even good people are capable of turning bad. Being aware of your partner starting to lie to you before it turns into cheating or something could also give you time to salvage the relationship before it goes down the toilet as well. If you trust no matter what you will be ignorant to the problem brewing. I'm going through something similar right now. I don't know whether to trust her or not. Something just doesn't add up. She might not be cheating. But SOMETHING is going on that's causing her to push me away slowly but surely. It's breaking my heart. And I'm hurting. I'm having to take Xanax from time to time to calm my nerves. (of course I dont know your situation NOR am I a marriage counselor. But, sometimes it can be something simple and benign) Investigate. Find out if you are being paranoid. It is worth the effort because if you talk to her first and she really is a coward who will fuck around rather than working on the relationship she will just hide it beter once she knows you are suspicious. If you investigate and find you are paranoid then talk to her about it with a clear mind . Once suspicions are ruled out it can lead to an open conversation that maybe it is both of you who need to work on things. or maybe just you. As i have found out in my relationship. |
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Everybody has trust issues. For the most part, all of us have been screwed over at one time or another... at LEAST once. The KEY is to not take those bad relationships and mirror them onto your current one. It is not fair to your wife/husband/GF or BF. You have to start with a clean slate. Oh... and for those of you who are the cheaters... GO F@CK YOURSELF! (it breaks less hearts in the long run) |
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Quoted: If you love someone, you should actively avoid situations that might lead them to question your commitment. Its called mutual respect. thats kinda my point though. in todays world mutual respect in a relationship is not a universal rule. Sometimes one partner does things that are innocent but inappropriate for the status of the relationship. Tradition doesn't have the role it once did. These situations can either be innocent or they can be malicious. You can either sink or swim but things have changed. So trust must change as well. Since it is a crap shot whether something is innocent or not verifying in order to trust is practical and logical. |
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Quoted: EXACTLY! Very well put!Quoted: If you love someone, you should actively avoid situations that might lead them to question your commitment. Its called mutual respect. thats kinda my point though. in todays world mutual respect in a relationship is not a universal rule. Sometimes one partner does things that are innocent but inappropriate for the status of the relationship. Tradition doesn't have the role it once did. These situations can either be innocent or they can be malicious. You can either sink or swim but things have changed. So trust must change as well. Since it is a crap shot whether something is innocent or not verifying in order to trust is practical and logical. I don't give my wife ANY reason to doubt me. She knows my passwords to my email account, My Arfcom account, facebook account, I leave my cell phone in the same place every night... If I saw her reading my texts, my only concern is that she may get bored to death. I don't put myself in a position for her to ever doubt me. I know she trusts me but as the saying goes "Trust but verify"... if she wants to verify... Have at it! The most precious resource in my life is the trust in her heart. If I lost that, it would destroy me. |
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Talk to her. If she loves you then she should do everything in her power to put your mind at ease. It is amazing at what a good conversation can do. She may not even know she is doing it. Sometimes the first thing we push away when we are stressed are the ones that mean the most to us. maybe she feels you are doing the same thing and this is her way of "getting back" and you may not even realize you are doing it.
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Seriously I don't understand the whole concept that if you cdon't trust someone 150 percent all the time you don't have a good relationship. I love my wife and she has never given me a reason to doubt her but god damnit if she does anything out of the ordnary I verify a million ways that it isn't some bullshit. I know plenty of cheating men and women and I don't think my wife would ever do that to me but neither did they. I think full trust is a bad thing. It makes you ignorant to possible problems that are on the horizon and I like to be prepared for everything. If my wife ever turns into one of those sneaky cheating whores I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. Trust but verify. Even good people are capable of turning bad. Being aware of your partner starting to lie to you before it turns into cheating or something could also give you time to salvage the relationship before it goes down the toilet as well. If you trust no matter what you will be ignorant to the problem brewing. I'm going through something similar right now. I don't know whether to trust her or not. Something just doesn't add up. She might not be cheating. But SOMETHING is going on that's causing her to push me away slowly but surely. It's breaking my heart. And I'm hurting. I'm having to take Xanax from time to time to calm my nerves. (of course I dont know your situation NOR am I a marriage counselor. But, sometimes it can be something simple and benign) That's good advice. Thank you. I'll try my best. |
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good advice but heres option 2 from my side of the coin.
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Talk to her. If she loves you then she should do everything in her power to put your mind at ease. It is amazing at what a good conversation can do. She may not even know she is doing it. Sometimes the first thing we push away when we are stressed are the ones that mean the most to us. maybe she feels you are doing the same thing and this is her way of "getting back" and you may not even realize you are doing it.
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Seriously I don't understand the whole concept that if you cdon't trust someone 150 percent all the time you don't have a good relationship. I love my wife and she has never given me a reason to doubt her but god damnit if she does anything out of the ordnary I verify a million ways that it isn't some bullshit. I know plenty of cheating men and women and I don't think my wife would ever do that to me but neither did they. I think full trust is a bad thing. It makes you ignorant to possible problems that are on the horizon and I like to be prepared for everything. If my wife ever turns into one of those sneaky cheating whores I will know about it when it happens giving me time to get the upper hand in the situation of divorce. Id start hoarding cash and hiding tings valuable to me one at a time to protect myself from the lawyers. Id get the last laugh when I was prepared for the divorce and she wasn't. Trust but verify. Even good people are capable of turning bad. Being aware of your partner starting to lie to you before it turns into cheating or something could also give you time to salvage the relationship before it goes down the toilet as well. If you trust no matter what you will be ignorant to the problem brewing. I'm going through something similar right now. I don't know whether to trust her or not. Something just doesn't add up. She might not be cheating. But SOMETHING is going on that's causing her to push me away slowly but surely. It's breaking my heart. And I'm hurting. I'm having to take Xanax from time to time to calm my nerves. (of course I dont know your situation NOR am I a marriage counselor. But, sometimes it can be something simple and benign) Investigate. Find out if you are being paranoid. It is worth the effort because if you talk to her first and she really is a coward who will fuck around rather than working on the relationship she will just hide it beter once she knows you are suspicious. If you investigate and find you are paranoid then talk to her about it with a clear mind . Once suspicions are ruled out it can lead to an open conversation that maybe it is both of you who need to work on things. or maybe just you. As i have found out in my relationship. More food for thought. Thank you. |