IIRC, there is a law... I can't remember if it's national, or a state thing.  If you ask them to stop calling you, and they call you within 6 months, you can sue them for harassment.  Hopefully someone can provide more specific information.

[sniper]

Greetings, Colonel.

Short of a law that that Chemlawn may or may not be violating, TURN THE TABLES.

I, too, used to dread these calls until I turned the tables.

Several versions:

Tell them that whoever they asked for is home, out in back in fact dealing with some lawn issue, please hold just a minute, I'm sure they will want to talk to you.  Stretch it out, returning to the phone the first time to say he's coming, then to say he thought I was kidding since he was just saying how much he hates to do yard work, then needs totake off his shoes, etc.

Tell them in no uncertain terms, after confirming thatthey are ready to take down a message, that you are not interested in whatever they are shilling, even if it is free money.

Many people mistakenly think that by hanging up on the machine before a person comes on that they are acomplishing the same, they are not.  The machine that dialed your number thinks an answering machine has hung up on them and you go to the end of the line to be called again later.

Tell them that whoever is home, but that you refuse to bother them with a shitty telemarketer, that you always answer the phone, and that they will never get to talk to that person.

Ask for a number to call them back later.

Etc.  

Go to Radio Shack and buy a "Tele-Zapper"...

Depending upon your jurisdiction there may be state laws that protect you.  Contact the office of the Attorney General for assistance.

Is this one of those places that comes over and sprays your yard with stuff? Wait till about 2 AM, and drain their truck's fuel tank into a buckets, and pour the diesel into the tank on the back of the truck. Repeat until out of trucks. They'll be out of business in no time.

In Oregon if you tell the telemarketer to take you off their call list they are required by law to do so.

Once I figure out it's a sales call I repeat "Take me off your call list" over and over until they acknowledge me or hang up.

A compressed air horn will probably do the trick as well. [:D]

The law you are thinking of is the Telphone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA) of 1991.  The FCC has lots of cool info for you.  

Check here:
[url]http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/consumerfacts/tcpa.html[/url]

Dilbert

I think theDave is right. I've heard that you need to specifically say, "Put me on your Do Not Call List," and then hangup. Companies violating this can actually be sued from what I understand. Although I haven't sued anyone lately, the above approach has worked well for us (including ChemLawn).

My solution was to get caller ID and hang up on them when I see a telemarketer.  Check w/ your phone company for a service called Privacy Director that gets rid of 99% of telemarkets w/out your phone ever ringing.

There is a law, the Telephone Consumer Protection Act. The Direct Marketing Association has a link, but it's down and I believe the full text is available on the FCC's website. It more or less states that after a company has been told to place you on their "do not call list" and instructed to provide you with a copy of their "do not call policy," their ass is grass to the tune of $500 per call every time they contact you afterwards (provided you can document the calls). I saw a piece on the boob tube where some guy got fed up with getting bothered and started suing under this law. He's made a small fortune and the telemarketing companies absolutely hate him. He has an organization and a website (have to do a search).

In the mean time, next call, specifically tell the caller to, "Place me on your do not call list and send me a copy of your do not call policy." Chances are you won't get a copy of the policy, but as telemarketers, they're well aware of the TCPA and they WILL stop calling. Next, register your name with the [url=http://www.dmaconsumers.org/offtelephonelist.html]DMA[/url] and they'll instruct members companies to remove you from their lists. Contact your credit card companies and tell them NOT to distribute your information with any direct marketing firms, etc. Every time you buy something from Sears, or any catalog-type operation, instruct them to NOT share your information as well. Trust me, all of this works. Telemarketers don't call me and the only junk mail that I receive is the stuff addressed to "Resident."

For some reason the grass gophers use old data and pick up on an old address that is a vacant lot at the moment.

They want to do one free application.  Fine here's the new address.  They show up but never spray when they find out there are 4 acres to spray.

Must be something else to laws because once in a while I'll tape a message to the effect that they are welcome to leave a message.  If I return their call, I'll charge 50 bucks an hour or part thereof for my time.  I advise them the conversation will be played again and taped from the beginning.  If they call back again, they've just spent 50 bucks.  

Not many numbers.

Another one:  In the middle of divorce mess.  They say good bye quickly, especially the stock brokers.

If you ever need to get rid of someone, hang up while you're talking.  Let them think the connection is bad because no one has an ego so small that they would hang up while they're talking.

Hehee, I consider it my job to screw with these folks as much as possible.  

I get the "you are getting a burglar alarm for free" one all the time.  I react like I have won the lottery. "Oh my god, this is the most fantastic day in my life, a freeeeee byrglar alarm, I am so happy " .... do this for five minutes or so.  

Another one I like to use is I tell them I am under house arrest, and if they come over to spray the lawn , could they pick up a six pack of Bud on the way over?   This freaks them right out.

Or the one that want to sell you windows, tell em you live in an underground bunkers, have no windows, and oh by the way.... How [b]did[/b] you get this number.

It's a hoot.  Try it.

Just for your information, the tele zapper just plays the tones from a disconnected number. It tells the computer the number doesn't exsit, so you stop getting calls from that place. I added the tones to the begining of my answering machine, and my calls have fallen off dramatically. I used to get 20 a day, now I only get 6 a week.

Some telco's offer a black dot by your name in their directories to indicate that you are not to be called by telemarketers.  My telemarketer calls have dropped in half, but I'm sure the ones that do call are using older phone directories.  Check with your local dial tone provider.

Tell the people on the phone that the person they want to talk to died last week.  It works great at work when salesman call.[}:D]

Go to a marine store and buy a air horn. Give the asshole on the other end a good blast when he starts his pitch.

I used to get several calls per day from long-distance scams.  I tried the "do not call/collect $500 later" thing for a while, and it never worked.  It also didn't reduce the number of calls.  Finally, I just started playing along.  They'd offer up to 25% (or whatever) off of my long-distance bill.  I'd act excited, then ask since I spent 34 cents last month, how much they thought I could save.  I had quiet a few of them hang-up on me after that.  Also, they don't call back.z

LOL! i use a similer tactic... when i pick up and hear Hi this is Jack from such and such marketing group... i say : oh really?, jack says yep. (now i know its a human..)  since i have a cordless phone i set it next to the base. hit the bases speakerphone button. this ensues a nasty feedback loop. these guys have headsets on.. feedback directly in the ear is a very unpleasent and sometimes painful experience. i did this for about 2 seconds once and head the guy cussing on the other end. plus it went decidedly quiet on the other end. where it was noisy will other people talking. i guess he cussed rather loudly. he hung up on me. go figure..  then (my guess is a manager forced him to) he called back and apolgized for his language... well.. feedback! let me be damn you!

since thier phones are computer control he probably had to go to a special phone with outside access.