Posted: 7/30/2016 9:35:54 PM EDT
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He told me there were error messages coming from my computer.
I told him that I was Windows support, and told him there were error messages coming from his computer. Then we argued for 5 minutes on who called who. I asked him what his screen said. He said, "Go fuck yourself". I don't think he was really Windows support. |
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My favorite is to play along like an idiot. They eventually put a supervisor on the line who speaks better English and asks me to push the windows key and R at the same time to bring up a run prompt. I keep them going for some time telling them I can't find a windows key before I let on that I am using a Mac. They hang up in disgust. Jokes on them; I exclusively use Windows on my Mac. |
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I immediately get very serious and start talking about the government is spying on all of us. When they respond I start asking what they can do to my computer to stop the voices I am hearing. Sometimes I can keep them on the phone for a couple of minutes before they hang up.
My family thinks I am childish. 
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Quoted:
My favorite is to play along like an idiot. They eventually put a supervisor on the line who speaks better English and asks me to push the windows key and R at the same time to bring up a run prompt. I keep them going for some time telling them I can't find a windows key before I let on that I am using a Mac. They hang up in disgust. Jokes on them; I exclusively use Windows on my Mac. I did that Friday. I told him I couldn't find the control key, but I found the key with the wavy squares. I eventually made him so mad he told me "what I need you to do now, is put the computer in your ass" in a heavy Indian accent. I asked him if the call went as he expected as I almost peed I was laughing so hard. |
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I strung my guy along for about 7 minutes till we got to the config.sys file part. He asked what the screen said and I told him - "It says your mother fucks dogs in Pakistan." He was so pissed he called me back and before he said anything I told him "I know where you are and I'm going to find you and tear your fuckin' heart out." The third time he called back I said "The British should have killed your parents"The fourth time I didn't have a line ready so I didn't answer and he apparently gave up. It livened up an otherwise slow evening. |
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Quoted:
I strung my guy along for about 7 minutes till we got to the config.sys file part. He asked what the screen said and I told him - "It says your mother fucks dogs in Pakistan." He was so pissed he called me back and before he said anything I told him "I know where you are and I'm going to find you and tear your fuckin' heart out." The third time he called back I said "The British should have killed your parents"
The fourth time I didn't have a line ready so I didn't answer and he apparently gave up. It livened up an otherwise slow evening. Another good one is to ask the (male) caller if he still thinks about his sister when he plays with himself. Giggle while he rages. 
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Most of the time I tell them it's my wife's computer, hold on I'll get her. Then put the phone down. Finally it cuts off. Once I had one call back after the hangup and I pulled the, her computer is a Mac deal.
Last time the guy's accent was so screwy I started chuckling and he asked me what was so funny. I told him the video I was watching of his mother being pleasured by a goat. How about next time just tell them you write viruses for a living and every now and then one escapes. |
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Quoted:
He told me there were error messages coming from my computer. I told him that I was Windows support, and told him there were error messages coming from his computer. Then we argued for 5 minutes on who called who. I asked him what his screen said. He said, "Go fuck yourself". I don't think he was really Windows support. 
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i played that game with nageshi for about 15 mins, telling him to hold on and repeat himself. Almost 30 minutes for me.
He tried to walk me through installing logmein a couple of times and just about lost it when I said I rebooted my computer... Twice. 
I also see how many times I can get them to say "Pop tart". 
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Quoted:
I did that Friday. I told him I couldn't find the control key, but I found the key with the wavy squares. I eventually made him so mad he told me "what I need you to do now, is put the computer in your ass" in a heavy Indian accent. I asked him if the call went as he expected as I almost peed I was laughing so hard. Quoted:
Quoted:
My favorite is to play along like an idiot. They eventually put a supervisor on the line who speaks better English and asks me to push the windows key and R at the same time to bring up a run prompt. I keep them going for some time telling them I can't find a windows key before I let on that I am using a Mac. They hang up in disgust. Jokes on them; I exclusively use Windows on my Mac. I did that Friday. I told him I couldn't find the control key, but I found the key with the wavy squares. I eventually made him so mad he told me "what I need you to do now, is put the computer in your ass" in a heavy Indian accent. I asked him if the call went as he expected as I almost peed I was laughing so hard. Must have been the same guy who called my wife. He told her to drop dead. |
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Quoted: Almost 30 minutes for me. He tried to walk me through installing logmein a couple of times and just about lost it when I said I rebooted my computer... Twice. I also see how many times I can get them to say "Pop tart". Quoted: Quoted: i played that game with nageshi for about 15 mins, telling him to hold on and repeat himself. Almost 30 minutes for me. He tried to walk me through installing logmein a couple of times and just about lost it when I said I rebooted my computer... Twice. I also see how many times I can get them to say "Pop tart". Nice of them to use the tool Microsoft actually uses for support. Makes it all legit and stuff! I tend to drag them along as long as possible with bullshit technical situations. I like tell them the screen says "disk boot error" and see how they react. Goat jokes will now be added to my list... thanks for the ideas ;) |
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Quoted: I did that Friday. I told him I couldn't find the control key, but I found the key with the wavy squares. I eventually made him so mad he told me "what I need you to do now, is put the computer in your ass" in a heavy Indian accent. I asked him if the call went as he expected as I almost peed I was laughing so hard. Quoted: Quoted: My favorite is to play along like an idiot. They eventually put a supervisor on the line who speaks better English and asks me to push the windows key and R at the same time to bring up a run prompt. I keep them going for some time telling them I can't find a windows key before I let on that I am using a Mac. They hang up in disgust. Jokes on them; I exclusively use Windows on my Mac. I did that Friday. I told him I couldn't find the control key, but I found the key with the wavy squares. I eventually made him so mad he told me "what I need you to do now, is put the computer in your ass" in a heavy Indian accent. I asked him if the call went as he expected as I almost peed I was laughing so hard.  |
| Yeah had that same call so I asked him which computer it came from since I have like 20. He didn't know how to answer just said your computer. I kept saying I have 20 so need to know the IP of the one that said was having an error. He got pissed at me and started cursing hard cored and got even pissed when I what one was because I have never heard it before because it wasn't in English and wanted to know what it was and what it meant so I could use it. Sadly he never told me and said one last fuck you and hung up. Oddly I haven't received any more calls about it since and has been over a month when I used to get them at least once a week. |
| OP you are fucked. They will call you multiple times a day for years and always from a different number, sometimes even in your area code. It doesn't matter how you handle them, politely, creatively, "I own a Mac" "I'm homeless." They never stop and won't take you off their list. |
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OP you are fucked. They will call you multiple times a day for years and always from a different number, sometimes even in your area code. It doesn't matter how you handle them, politely, creatively, "I own a Mac" "I'm homeless." They never stop and won't take you off their list. I downloaded a call recorder app. I'm hoping for a return call. |
| Here is a fun one. When they call act like you are an old geezer and have no idea how to "do this computer stuff". Then say you can't see very well and if you can take a picture of your credit card and send it to them so they can fix the computer. They may give you a number to text to or an email (obviously use a junk email account...they already have your phone number obviously if cell). Then send them wiener pics. |