Posted: 4/1/2005 8:04:27 PM EDT
My wife, on the eve of our first gunshow in over a month, dragged me to a silent "art" auction. Gunshow cash now gone with a compact .45 and an FAL still on my shopping list. And what do I have to show for it? Among other things, a watercolor of a damned bottle tree. A BOTTLE TREE! There is one in our neighborhood that someone put up and she ridicules it every time we drive by. A DAMNED BOTTLE TREE! Why?
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Dude, I don't know what to tell you. I do know what I would've told your wife, though:NO! |
+1 I've had to pull the missus up short now and then...gotta keep it real, fellas... |
I'm still not 100% what exactly a "bottle tree" is  - but I'll agree with you that it SOUNDS stupid.
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I might need to get my wife to chime in here, but I don't think she'd EVER make me forego a rifle purchase for a picture of a bottle tree.Sometimes you have to look her square in the eye and say "Honey, that thing is one of the most disgusting abortions I've ever seen, and you're not spending a single God forsaken dime on it. Got it?" Damn. |
Its a hideous piece of redneck yard sculpture which supposedly originated in the Mississippi Delta to ward off evil spirits. Its basically a stalk with limbs with colored bottles (usually blue or green) stuck on the limbs. If I can find the camera, I'll post a pic. My description cannot do it justice. |
No I would never make you forego a rifle for art (especially ugly art). If it was a rifle or handgun that we both wanted I would say " fuck the art get the rifle/handgun" |
Wise words indeed, but there's a limit to it, isn't there? I'm not coming home with $800 in Miller Genuine Draft promotional items from the local bar, and she's not coming home with $800 in tupperware. |
You better get a bj and a steak out of that. Of course one could argue that if you hung that by the entrance it would double as a gun. Thieves take one look at that and leave, 
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What did that abortion cost you, anyway? |
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Showed the wife your post, Mr. Clean. She said "fair is fair." Signing off. |
Don't forget the pics 
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No steak, but... Anyway, the wife accompanied me to the gun show today. I didn't find a compact .45 I liked and the only FALs were a couple of hideously overpriced CAI L1A1s. Somehow, despite the wife's urgings, the only gun I came home with is a MAS49/56. Don't ask me why, it just caught my fancy and wasn't a bad deal. All I could find was 4 boxes of French 7.5 mm, but at least I'll get a feel for it tomorrow.  By the way, the whole story with the bottle tree painting was that my wife was one of the organizers of the event, and the painting had not received any bids at the close of bidding...she's a good woman in more ways than one. |
