[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Was I wrong? (Page 1 of 4)
Posted: 11/15/2004 8:33:09 PM EDT
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A buddy of mine had his anniversary yesterday. As a present, I took him, his wife, and my girlfriend to a nice restaurant. We ordered as usual and chatted as we waited for our food. Our food came and the waiter handed me my plate. I gave him a look and said, "Are you handing me my plate?" The manager heard me and quickly came over and took the plate from the waiter's hand and placed it in front of me. The manager apologized and stated that the waiter was new and needed more training. As an apology, they gave me a bottle of champagne for free. Ok, now usually, I wouldn't give this a second thought, but when you're paying over four hundred dollars for dinner, I'd expect superior service. |
No, and I bet that waiter never makes that mistake again. and dont get me started on the lack of attentiveness of most of these waitrons nowadays. When I was serving I made damn sure to fill glasses when they got half empty. All I get nowadays is an empty glass in front of me for half my meal. I don't think they train them that well in the art of service anymore. 
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Taken out of context, you could look like a dick, but given the situation, you acted perfectly fine. I bet the waiter will never make that mistake again, and while he might think you a dick, you could have saved him his job in the future without him even knowing it. Hell, maybe you could be the person that pushed him over the edge to make him go back to school and design missiles for the US, who knows, but what I do know, is actions should have consequences. That rule is lost upon our modern society. |
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I have a few people in my family who think they are important and feel people should kiss their ass all over and worry about shit like that. Since they are pretty much reprehensible people I try and be as unlike them as possible. If a waiter handed me a plate I'd simply take it. I got important shit to worry about and fussy ass high profile restraunt decorum and protocol just don't warrant my time or concern. When I get to the point in my life that stupid little shit like this actually matters I hope I will be wise enough to realize I don't have anymore "real" problems and I should probably shut up, be happy and enjoy the fact that nothing of any consequence is wrong. Just because you have money, or spend a lot of it, doesn't make you any more important than a guy who just busted his ass for minimum wage and is being handed a plate of todays "special" at a diner. |
I don't have alot of money. The restaurant is a "special occasion" place. |
Gotta say, that's about how I feel. |
Then you have even less of an excuse. Sorry. I don't quite understand your priorities in this. Did you go there to have good food in good company or to be made to feel important? I've paid that kind of money in the past for "special occassions" but mostly to enjoy good food with good company. If someone handed me a plate I'd simply take it and get back to food and company. I probably wouldn't even notice the breech in etiquette and certainly wouldn't take time to fuss about it. |
you want to get handed a plate, you go to a diner, or a greasy spoon. You want to get waited on and you go to a fancier restaraunt. That is what is expected of them and it is not too much to ask. You are expected to tip at the end and there is a world of difference in the amount of tip left at a greasy spoon vs. a five star restaurant. but regardless, at either place I expect them to keep my drink full which hardly ever happens. |
better stick with hooter's (sweetie honey pie, I'm so glad you came back to see me  )Or Raisins depending on your taste  BTW - have they found you yet? In the hallway under the tiles, right? |
I agree with the drinks and stuff but I'm not about to get miffed because a plate got handed to me. If you go to those places to "feel important" and that is what you are paying for then you would be correct to expect it. I go for good food and good times, I don't have time to worry about the fact that I got the wrong goddam fork with my salad. I just eat the salad. There is important shit and then there is everything else. |
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Normally that would be a petty thing, but at a hundred dollar a plate joint you were dead on. You do not spend that kind of loot for the food, you spend it for the service and treatment, you are looking for something special for your money. It is like anything else in life, you should get what you pay for, and handing the plate to a customer in a fine restaurant is poor service and should not be tolarable. If you are sitting at Denny's and get handed your plate that is fine, but it is not likely that you will be spending four hundred for four people befor tip, at Denny's. ETA: This is like buying a gun, if you buy a WASR for $300 dollars and you have to refinish the stock and straighten out a canted FSB, you figure you did OK for the money, but if you buy a DSA FAL and it has a crooked site and shitty stock you would send it back and expect it to be made right on thier dime. |
You know I have an FFL. Send me the money for an Accuracy International and I will send you a SAR-1. It's not what you paid for, but hey, you have more important things to worry about. 
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Yeah, when I was in the military I dated a "Hooters Girl", she was realy cool! My mother allways wanted me to stick with that girl, now I regret leting her go. 
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I half agree with what you are saying when you talk about just take the food and eat it. But I have to say that a restaraunt of that caliber should know better and train its waiters better. The fact is not that he went there to feel important. Anyone who pays to feel important is a little loco in my book. Rather he took his friend there vs mcDonalds or something to say "I am showing you how important of a friend you are to me" (not in a gay way). You want the night to go as you expect it and that is not too much to ask considering the price. |
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What restaurant was it? I went to a real expensive Italian place in Lafyette on Friday night. I wanted Nations but my friend likes to eat expensive so he took me and my brother out. I think with wine it was about $400 for the three of us. Funny thing is the waiter did hand me one of the courses. Didn't even think about it at the time. Hmmm, maybe I should have made a stink  .I personally don't really understand really expensive meals. Hell, the veal was great but Nations would have had me just as happy for about six bucks. |
Could'nt have said it any better. |
And that's what this comes down to. What are you paying for? If you are paying to have your ass kissed and be made to "feel important" then you are absolutely correct. What I said is when I go in a fancy restraunt I am paying for good food and a good time. I actually feel uncomfortable with the notion of paying money to "feel important." I'm not saying John was wrong or that he handled it poorly, I'm just saying to many of us these things are trivial and of no consequence. As a result in the same situation I think I would have had a better time. Now if he ordered steak and they brought chicken, well that would be as wrong as ordering a AI and getting a SAR. But getting back to your example, IF I bought a AI, it wouldn't be to feel important. If I bought an AI I would only care that I got the AI. I wouldn't get upset if the guy handed it to me or forgot to put on his white gloves first. 
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And I'm there with you 100%. What I'm questioning is does being handed your plate really take away from that? Is it really that important? |
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM Nations...... 
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Probrobly not in the grand scheme of things 
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You're missing the point--you seem hung up on the "feeling important" bullshit. If his goal was to feel important (NOT evident in any of his posts) he would not be asking us if he was "wrong"--he would be absolutely certain he WAS NOT wrong. Read his initial post again--"A buddy of mine had his anniversary yesterday. As a present, I took him, his wife, and my girlfriend to a nice restaurant. <snip>" It was a gift. Part of the gift was the ambiance of a nice restaurant, and the service provided by same. He paid top dollar, but didn't receive due value. Had he gone ballistic and made a huge, loud, raging stink I would say he went overboard. He didn't. Expecting to receive what he paid for, knowing his friend would be grateful he thought so much of him to go to a nice place, is what this is about. I read no pretentious BS in any of his posts. Bottom line--he paid for something he was not receiving, and he gently rectified it. The manager saw it, did his job, and the world is a wonderful place.
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I think the most expensive place I have eaten at is the Texas De Brazil...where hot brazilian guys bring all the meat you can eat to the table when you have your little green and red disc (kind of looks like a coaster) with the green in the upright position... Now that I think about it...they made me pick up my tongs to grab their meat so they could slice it and what-not. Now why should I have to be the one to grab their meat? For that price, they should place their meat on my plate without me having to lift a finger Sorry, all this talk about food got me hungry 
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Are there written rules somewhere about restaurant etiquette? My wife and I dined in San Antonio this past weekend where it cost $200 for us both. The service was impeccable as I would expect but shit, I wouldn't even remember or care if he sat the plate down or handed it to me. Well, actually I do remember, the waiter sat it down and made sure it was rotated so the food was facing me properly. Was it facing the right way? How the fuck should I know?! Needless to say the service was excellent as was the food, albeit overpriced and underproportioned by our standards, and chalked it up as a special occasion being in a new town and all and enjoyed it as much as we could even with the sticker shock. But for fucks sake, calling out a waiter in front of others, belittleing him, for a simple mistake as handing you your plate is a bit much to say the least. We all started somewhere. Let's hope he didn't wipe his unit on your next dish. And let's not forget that that $400 is going down the toilet in 24hrs or less! |
Ok, again, I didn't jump on the table and screamed my head off. I was VERY surprised that the waiter did this and asked him the question. The manager overheard me and came over to rectify the situation. I felt really bad about the incident and tipped the waiter a hundred bucks. |
I wish that was all I had to worry about today. 
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Kudos to you for feeling bad and tipping respectively even though it was only 25% and a typical dinner tip is 20% which would have been $80 so that only makes it $20 over expected. (hey, I dint go to skool fo nutin) You may not have shouted but in a fancy restaurant, you normally wouldn't have to. The fact alone that the manager OVERheard you proves that it was loud enough. That makes 4 other people that heard you besides the waiter. Again, I'm glad you were atleast aware of what happened and how you reacted. You are a better person than most by those actions alone and I respect you for that. So, when are you taking me and my wife out to dinner?
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:rofl: Gonna have to save up some more for the next special occasion. 
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Again, what I'm questioning is does being handed your plate really take away from that? Is it really that important? |
For me--dunno, never had it happen. I would probably have reacted in a manner similar to John91498, but I can't say for sure. I've tried to avoid saying this, but perhaps you just don't understand eating in a high-end establishment. Top-end prices mean top-notch service. To not receive same is not worth a raging hissy fit, but warrants mention and rectification. It's a simple matter of receiving what you pay for. Nothing more. Perhaps some (you?) don't care if you receive full value for your dollar. Some do. I guess some just "eat" while others "dine." |
| I bet if you went to cheap place consistantly and tipped the difference in prices to one waiter/waitress all the time. You would get some really good service. Umm let me see 100 dollars for 4 and a 300 dollars tip = really good service next time. They would be doing the 4 flat forty yard dash to get to you. This is just my opinion though as I am from OK and just a redneck. |
Knew someone would get to it. From my youth my Mother made sure I was aware of the protocol and etiquitte of high brow joints. In the end I decided that 99% of it was ego gratification to make pathetic people feel important. One can certainly "dine" without noticing if the waiter wore his white gloves. To recap: I go for good food and good times, I don't have time to worry about the fact that I got the wrong goddam fork with my salad. I just eat the salad. There is important shit and then there is everything else. Now maybe I'm not getting my money's worth because the plate wasn't placed in front of me but I think I'm getting way more out of life by realizing that some shit just ain't important. If I tried I couldn't bring myself to apply importance to such matters. So perhaps you are right, I'm not one of "those" people, but it is by choice. |