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Posted: 9/8/2004 8:18:41 AM EST
Another Mike Adams article for your enjoyment...


Recently, a reader wrote to tell me that he had lost all faith in my intelligence because I made a derogatory remark about Charles Darwin in one of my recent editorials. The reader seemed to suggest that IQ could be measured with a single question. Apparently, his question was “do you believe in evolution?”

Of course, that is not a good question to use on a single-item IQ exam. Intelligent people know that, since it was created, evolution has evolved into two theories. Micro-evolution tries to use Darwinian principles to explain variations within species over time. Macro-evolution tries to use Darwinian principles to suggest that all species have evolved from primordial soup.

The latter theory is less than unproven. In fact, it isn’t even scientific. I believe that it is nothing more than the new religion of pseudo scientists who think that they are atheists. It is easy to fall prey to the mistaken belief that you are an atheist in the protected environment of academia. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Despite my disagreements with my reader/would-be IQ examiner, I do believe that he is on to something. Maybe we can measure IQ with a single question. You have to admit that the idea is appealing. If you get cornered at a cocktail party by someone who keeps making moderately stupid remarks, a single-question IQ test could be easily memorized and administered anywhere. And, of course, once a person has failed the exam, you can stop wasting your time in pointless conversation with someone you merely suspect to be stupid. Now, you’ll know for sure.

So I decided this morning that I was going to develop my own single-item IQ exam. But, after only a few minutes, I started having trouble deciding which question to use on my exam. There are so many good candidates for inclusion. For example:

1. Do you think that O.J. Simpson was framed?

2. Do you think that professional wrestling is real?

3. Do you think that the first moon landing was fake?

4. Do you think that Osama bin Laden wants George W. Bush to be re-elected because he’s afraid of John Kerry?

5. Do you think that Al Gore invented the internet?

6. Would you let your pre-teenage boy spend the night with Michael Jackson?

7. Have you ever made a contribution to PETA?

8. Do you think that Richard Simmons is straight?

9. Do you think that women should adopt a special diet to avoid prostate cancer?

10. Have you ever made a contribution to Benny Hinn?

11. Do bisexuals have male and female sex organs?

12. Is “innuendo” an Italian term for suppository?

13. Are you more concerned about saving a convicted murderer than an unborn child?

14. Would you support an abortion of an unborn baby while protesting animal abortion?

15. Do you think that Bill Clinton uses Viagra?

16. Do you think that Chris Matthews has good communication skills and respects women?

17. Would you favor the execution of a convicted female killer while she was eight months pregnant?

18. Have you ever asked someone where the “any” key is located on your computer keyboard?

19. Have you ever nodded during a speech by Jesse Jackson?

20. If your roommate stole your bong would you call the police?

21. Have you ever told a waitress that your sushi was undercooked?

22. Do you think that masturbation should be taught in our public schools?

23. Do you think that Pee Wee Herman should be allowed to teach in our public schools?

24. Do you think that the words “b****” and “ho” should be used to avoid cultural bias in IQ testing?

25. Have you ever watched a beautiful sunset and thought “hmm, science has clearly established that we all evolved from primordial soup.”


Feel free to use any of these questions the next time you are confronted with a suspected idiot in a social situation. In fact, feel free to use them all. Just a single “yes” will tell you all you need to know. And, if you don’t like my opinion, just hit any key to escape this editorial. You know where the “any” key is, don’t you?

Mike Adams (www.DrAdams.org) enjoys hunting when he is not administering intelligence tests and making fun of liberals.

Link Posted: 9/8/2004 9:01:44 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 10:56:42 AM EST
I love it!
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 1:05:25 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/8/2004 1:05:56 PM EST by diabolical_chicken]

funny cat

not to hijack, but i have another quiz i was going to post



What is your cookie personality??

You scored 77.8% Chocolate Chip Cookie
Chocolate Chip lovers are loyal and dependable. You're probably a bit of a traditionalist and, therefore, may find it difficult to try new things. Family and friends are very important to you and you work hard to maintain connections among your loved ones. You have a small group of friends you've known forever and spend time with regularly, and you are the one everyone comes running to for advice. You relish your role as the nurturer and comforter, and your friends repay you by gently reminding you to take care of yourself -- along with everyone else!
Link Posted: 9/8/2004 2:59:05 PM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
12. Is “innuendo” an Italian term for suppository?



Link Posted: 9/8/2004 4:00:34 PM EST

Originally Posted By diabolical_chicken:
funny cat

not to hijack, but i have another quiz i was going to post



What is your cookie personality??

You scored 77.8% Chocolate Chip Cookie
Chocolate Chip lovers are loyal and dependable. You're probably a bit of a traditionalist and, therefore, may find it difficult to try new things. Family and friends are very important to you and you work hard to maintain connections among your loved ones. You have a small group of friends you've known forever and spend time with regularly, and you are the one everyone comes running to for advice. You relish your role as the nurturer and comforter, and your friends repay you by gently reminding you to take care of yourself -- along with everyone else!



Darn! I'm a mess of cookies! How'd you get so neat and pretty? Me:

You scored 44.4% Ginger Cookie
Ginger cookie lovers are risk takers. You have a keen sense of adventure, whether that manifests as shooting white-water rapids or simply taking a turn in the road to see where it leads. You are curious, intelligent, funny and young at heart. You tend to like being the center of attention, and enjoy being surrounded by an admiring and willing audience. NOT!!!! Good thing, too, because your fans are likely to stay by your side for a long time to come! Despite your entourage, you remain very independent minded. You and only you are in charge of your life, and you love it that way.


You scored 33.3% Chocolate Chip Cookie
Chocolate Chip lovers are loyal and dependable. You're probably a bit of a traditionalist and, therefore, may find it difficult to try new things. Family and friends are very important to you and you work hard to maintain connections among your loved ones. You have a small group of friends you've known forever and spend time with regularly, and you are the one everyone comes running to for advice. You relish your role as the nurturer and comforter, and your friends repay you by gently reminding you to take care of yourself -- along with everyone else!


You scored 22.2% Sugar Cookie
If sugar cookies are your passion (the more butter, the better), you are a sensual and fun-loving person. You like to keep your options open and sometimes have trouble making up your mind. But once you make a decision, you stick with it: there's no dithering. You appreciate simple things but you insist on the highest quality always -- the best clothing, top quality sheets and towels, etc. You share your passion for good things with a small circle of close friends and, in fact, can be quite shy around new people. But those who spend the time to get to know you love what they discover -- a passionate, fun woman with a lot to offer.

I'm one messed up combination!
Link Posted: 9/9/2004 7:37:13 AM EST

Originally Posted By Persephone:
I'm one messed up combination!

That's nothing! Here's mine:

You scored 44.4% Chocolate Chip Cookie
Chocolate Chip lovers are loyal and dependable. You're probably a bit of a traditionalist and, therefore, may find it difficult to try new things. Family and friends are very important to you and you work hard to maintain connections among your loved ones. You have a small group of friends you've known forever and spend time with regularly, and you are the one everyone comes running to for advice. You relish your role as the nurturer and comforter, and your friends repay you by gently reminding you to take care of yourself -- along with everyone else!

You scored 22.2% Oatmeal Raisin Cookie
You are a natural woman. You enjoy spending time outdoors -- in the garden, hiking or just sitting under a tree with a good book. You crave the simple life. You believe that food is best when it's made from scratch, a philosophy that also carries over into the homemade gifts you like to give. You enjoy spending quiet time with the ones you love and prefer intimate gatherings of close friends to the frenetic party scene. Your friends and family admire your calm self-confidence and natural beauty.

You scored 11.1% Sugar Cookie
If sugar cookies are your passion (the more butter, the better), you are a sensual and fun-loving person. You like to keep your options open and sometimes have trouble making up your mind. But once you make a decision, you stick with it: there's no dithering. You appreciate simple things but you insist on the highest quality always -- the best clothing, top quality sheets and towels, etc. You share your passion for good things with a small circle of close friends and, in fact, can be quite shy around new people. But those who spend the time to get to know you love what they discover -- a passionate, fun woman with a lot to offer.

You scored 11.1% Mint Cookie
You are cool, sophisticated and full of energy. If you were a magazine, you'd be The New Yorker. Your closet is filled with chic clothes, you enjoy wine with meals, and you like to try interesting new cuisines, go to arty movies and spend time with friends talking about "important" things. You like your life to be exciting; you're anything but boring! Your sharp wit and joie de vivre are the things your friends and loved ones most admire about you.

You scored 11.1% Ginger Cookie
Ginger cookie lovers are risk takers. You have a keen sense of adventure, whether that manifests as shooting white-water rapids or simply taking a turn in the road to see where it leads. You are curious, intelligent, funny and young at heart. You tend to like being the center of attention, and enjoy being surrounded by an admiring and willing audience. Good thing, too, because your fans are likely to stay by your side for a long time to come! Despite your entourage, you remain very independent minded. You and only you are in charge of your life, and you love it that way.

Link Posted: 9/9/2004 8:25:20 AM EST
WHOAH!!
started takin the test... got to the "when the husba----" hold the phone!!
forgot what forum i was in! DOH!
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