Posted: 2/14/2008 7:09:44 AM EDT
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I was on my bike and this german sheperd charged me. I jumped off the bike and used it to fend the dog away but he snuck in and bit my leg pretty good. The lady who owned the dog came out and got the dog under control. She was a very nice person and was very apologetic. She insisted that I send her the doctor’s bill, etc. She said that the dog had been to dog school and she couldn’t understand why the dog was being so aggressive. She said that she wanted me to make friends with her nice dog, and she opened the door to let the dog back out. Naturally the dog charged me again, but this time I was ready. I jumped to the side and kicked this fucking dog in the ribs so hard that it sounded like a pumpkin splitting open. I got the dog exactly in the center of gravity and it sailed sideways off the porch and landed like a sack of cement. After that it would not come within 20 feet of me. Note that I was riding my bike a lot at the time and could easily lift the entire stack on a nautilus leg extension machine. Everytime I think of that kick, it makes me smile. It was per-fec-to. I don’t think it’s possible to kick a dog harder than that. It was like I was kicking every ill-trained annoying aggressive dog I ever met with that one kick. Very satisfying! Anyway, after that I just left. I hope the dog died of internal bleeding. I only wish I had told the nice lady to fuck off while I was at it. What’s your satisfying payback story? |
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The dog bit you, you reacted. Good on you. The fact that you take so much pleasure in meticulously conveying every detail of what you did is sick. I have killed an animal in self defense. I wished I didn't have to because it was someone's beloved pet. I didn't take pleasure in it. |
Ive got an 11 year old Shepard sitting here right now. The only thing that has changed is she only gets up to eat, go outside, or have her ears scratched nightly |
Jesus Christ, he got a little payback on the bastard.  He didn't string it up and set it on fire |
That's cool then, I didn't believe that rumor, but felt that I should ask the Hivemind. |
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When I was 13 I killed the neighbors cat that had clawed through our screen door, got in our house and killed my mom's canary. When I heard the cage fall, I went in and found the cat with it's arms in the cage, red handed you could say. I grabbed it by the back of the neck, and when it got to growling and clawing at me I went off the deep end, ran outside and threw it as hard as I could at the cinder block wall in the back yard. Bye Bye kitty. It was some good payback at the time, but looking back I do not feel any great sense of victory. I must admit, I've never been a huge cat fan though. |
i am a bent animal hating lowbrow for it but I lol'd a bit |
also, and if the dog had come out of the house wagging its tail i would have patted it on the head. i'm not a mean person but i'm not getting bit twice in the same half hour. live by the sword, die by the sword |
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People Eating Tasty Animals. there is a place for all gods creatures............right next to the mashed potatoes. |
I love dogs, but that made me snort OJ out of my nose 
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When I was a kid, delivering newspapers in an almost-undeveloped rural area with some big, very aggressive dogs, I just started carrying a water pistol loaded with ammonia. Pretty soon the puppies would follw me and call me names, but would under no circumstances get near enough to me to get wet. 
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Report When I was 13 I killed the neighbors cat that had clawed through our screen door, got in our house and killed my mom's canary. When I heard the cage fall, I went in and found the cat with it's arms in the cage, red handed you could say. I grabbed it by the back of the neck, and when it got to growling and clawing at me I went off the deep end, ran outside and threw it as hard as I could at the cinder block wall in the back yard. Bye Bye kitty. It was some good payback at the time, but looking back I do not feel any great sense of victory. I must admit, I've never been a huge cat fan though. Tell it to your daughters' boyfriends and they will stay in line. 
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Has a Shepherd growing up and, if anything, she got LESS aggressive as she got older. For the most part, Shepherds not trained to attack are not overly aggressive, unless you are perceived a threat to those the dog is inclined to protect. Them you have problems. Like any dog, however, there are bad or ill trained examples out there. |
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When I was growing up, we had a screen porch with a door that barely stayed closed. It is where we kept the cat food for our cat. I remember dad complaining about an animal getting onto the porch and eating the catfood. So he set a trap. He tied a rope to the handle on the screen door, and ran it into the house. He sat and waited. Sure enough, an animal pawed at the door and opened it. He expected a raccoon, but it was a Tom cat. As soon as the cat was on the porch, he pulled the rope and secured the door shut. The cat took off like a balloon that slipped it's knot. Bouncing off the walls, doing laps around the porch, denting the screen. Dad jerked on a pair of heavy elbow length welding gloves, and went out. He caught the cat by a leg. I remember thinking the world was going to end. The noise and thrashing. Dad's mistake was not taking anything with which to dispatch the animal. He was yelling at mom to bring him a club. Mom didn't have a clue what to use, and provided nothing. So dad has the cat pinned down, and both are only getting angry. Finally the cat pissed on dad, pushing him over the limit. Dad choked it to death. Watching that taught me a very valuable lesson. Cats have more power in their muscles than any creature alive. How this 5 pound creature could almost get the best of my dad... His hand was bruised from where the cat bit into the glove. There was no penetration, but there was enough pressure to bruise. We lived on a farm. After that, the door stayed latched, and ferral cats were just shot from a distance. |
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As a LEO I have experienced schadenfreud many many times. I rather enjoy it now and don't really feel guilty about it. Like the time the scumbag was positively weeping for me not to arrest him. I really enjoyed that almost as much as I hated photographing his pregnant girlfriends face for the case file. Or the time where I got to tell this whiney little he bitch to shut the fuck up when he was sniveling about how his cell was too cold. It was real manly what he did to his girlfriends 3 year old's leg. Or telling the crack dealer he had run out of time for his phone call after listening to him cry to his mom to 'Please come gets me otta hear' for 5 minutes straight. Actually, it was an assault charge we picked him up on, the crack was just a bonus. I guess it's not really pay back so to speak because I wasn't the aggrieved party, but they sure did have it coming to them - and it sure did feel good. There was one case where I was the 'injured' party but I didn't really get the pay back. There were 3 of us wrestling with an asshole who had been stalking his ex girlfriend and had thrown a brick through her front windo at about 2 AM. He grabbed my package and wound up with a black eye delivered by one of my fellow officers for his trouble. -K |
Kinda like when they finally remember their name after a 10 mile ride, when you are just one block from the jail..............too late sucker. 
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I know, right? Let's see....dog bites guy, guy kicks dog. Seems pretty fair to me.
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We had a rooster that, if you turned your back to him, he'd charge you and get the back of your ankle. I actually got tired of booting that damn rooster across the yard. It just made me tired and him madder. And he'd have been way too tough to eat. never did get any "revenge" on him other than the occasional flying lesson. |