Random ARFcom Story Time!!! > General Discussion

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:27:34 PM EDT

The other day while cleaning my new rifle...

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:28:04 PM EDT

[#1]

while my barefoot and pregnant wife was making some pie.

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:28:56 PM EDT

[#2]

and Eating goo goos

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:29:17 PM EDT

[#3]

I got a knock at the door

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:29:33 PM EDT

[#4]

...a news alert flashed on TV...

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:29:51 PM EDT

[#5]

that the AWB was gone...

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:30:14 PM EDT

[#6]

it was the Nation of Farrekhan selling beanpies! I grabbed my 1911 and my AR...

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:31:31 PM EDT

[#7]

Just then I saw a pack of zombies chasing Hillary Clinton

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:32:49 PM EDT

[#8]

so I went back to cleaning my rifle.

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:33:07 PM EDT

[#9]

and I watched ,they left her dead body and was still hungry

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:36:24 PM EDT

[#10]

all of a sudden, she opened her purse and pulled out a

edited to add: MrClean4Hire beat me damn it!

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:36:56 PM EDT

[#11]

Jesse Jackson bobble-head

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:37:36 PM EDT

[#12]

gotten from evil E-bay

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:38:48 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
gotten from evil E-bay

A goat

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:40:24 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
A goat

..ran by and started eating the the name tag off my dog..

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:41:07 PM EDT

[#15]

and then a cop shot the dog

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:41:38 PM EDT

[#16]

so i quickly got my clean gun and shot the goat, but then...

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:46:55 PM EDT

[#17]

my house was almost overrun by undocumented immigrants because the minunte men were all busy...

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:50:18 PM EDT

[#18]

being chased by mexican waiters wanting to know if they need more salsa and.....

Posted: 4/2/2005 1:55:07 PM EDT

[#19]

toyota salesmen from all around the country. Orientals, and even those accused of being Orientals. Also, the Gallo Brothers, Ernest and Julio, last seen forcing Mexicans carry them on their backs to the pre-game tailgate parties at the colloseum.

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:01:18 PM EDT

[#20]

..So i knew it was up to me. I got on my roof and got out my new CMP Garand...

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:04:09 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
..So i knew it was up to me. I got on my roof and got out my new CMP Garand...

...and put on my Santa Claus suit.

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:14:34 PM EDT

[#22]

Just in time to see that Hillary Clinton was still live! So I then.

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:19:22 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Just in time to see that Hillary Clinton was still live! So I then.

Ran over and gave her the hookup

since Bill was busy with Monica.

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:20:55 PM EDT

[#24]

only to find out that she was a corpse that came to life to eat brains like the rest of the zombies!.. I felt like....

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:22:45 PM EDT

[#25]

...shit, I have green spots on my pecker now so I...

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:23:37 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
...shit, I have green spots on my pecker now so I...

got them off with a cheesegrater and a bottle of whiskey. Meanwhile

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:24:01 PM EDT

[#27]

.

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:25:14 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Meanwhile

on the other side of town, a spaceship flew over...

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:27:02 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
on the other side of town, a spaceship flew over...

and dropped off the elvin troops to kill the zombe santa ape and wage war with the gnomes. There was much defacation and the zombies still rome..

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:30:56 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Quoted:
on the other side of town, a spaceship flew over...

and dropped off the elvin troops to kill the zombe santa ape and wage war with the gnomes. There was much defacation and the zombies still rome..

...and now the streets (and swimming pools) flow with elvin blood. Meanwhile, in Washington....

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:32:48 PM EDT

[#31]

...GW starts to shoot the elves and zombies outside the white house as the secert service finally tests the P90s on some zombies and zombie dogs, in order to end all of the debates...

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:45:18 PM EDT

[#32]

So then I wake up and start to think "wow that dream almost sucked as bad as this story is getting"
After waking I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice and some pancakes, when suddenly...

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:47:32 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
So then I wake up and start to think "wow that dream almost sucked as bad as this story is getting"
After waking I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice and some pancakes, when suddenly...

I heard footsteps behind me.... When i turned around i saw...

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:49:30 PM EDT

[#34]

Hippies!

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:51:51 PM EDT

[#35]

They seemed pretty cool

so I was like "what's happening man?"

Posted: 4/2/2005 2:54:23 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
They seemed pretty cool so I was like "what's happening man?"

and they passed me the bowl......

Posted: 4/2/2005 3:00:16 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Quoted:
They seemed pretty cool so I was like "what's happening man?"

and they passed me the bowl......

...and sometime later i woke up in a cave with a bearded middle-eastern man...

Posted: 4/2/2005 3:03:50 PM EDT

[#38]

...who had a talking goat named "Omar".

Posted: 4/2/2005 3:06:39 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
...who had a talking goat named "Omar".

... And then the unthinkable.... I saw my red swingline stapler that had been stolen years before.

Posted: 4/2/2005 3:48:16 PM EDT

[#40]

So, I started loading magazines

Posted: 4/2/2005 3:51:00 PM EDT

[#41]

but the stapler was a different caliber, so...

1911fan

Posted: 4/2/2005 4:07:57 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
but the stapler was a different caliber, so...

1911fan

... I carefully approached the unexpecting the arab from behind....

Posted: 4/2/2005 4:19:05 PM EDT

[#43]

AND HIS BROWN EYE WINKED AT ME !

Posted: 4/2/2005 4:41:07 PM EDT

[#44]

...so I poked him in the eye

Posted: 4/2/2005 4:59:37 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
...so I poked him in the eye

..that was no eye!! Get me the ..

Posted: 4/2/2005 5:01:09 PM EDT

[#46]

Twelve gauge, I need to bust a cap quick...

Posted: 4/2/2005 5:01:18 PM EDT

[#47]

before its too late , so...

Posted: 4/2/2005 5:11:16 PM EDT

[#48]

.

Posted: 4/2/2005 5:13:30 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:
before its too late , so...

...I can run to Walmart to pick up a paint scraper and...

Posted: 4/2/2005 5:14:09 PM EDT

[#50]

I got stopped by the receipt checker

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