Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
BCM
Durkin Tactical Franklin Armory
User Panel

REST IN PEACE (Page 1 of 208)
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 208
Posted: 10/28/2013 4:07:19 AM EST
[Last Edit: Bama-Shooter]
No shit.

I'm laying here at Harris Hospital in Fort Worth Texas realizing my final days are upon me. It started back in April when I was diagnosed with stage IVLymphoma cancer.

Couldn't just be normal Lymphoma, it had to be Burkitt's lymphoma. And a rare one at that. It's what's called a triple hit Burkitt's. Meaning there are three bad chromosones they have to fight.

Basically it's a fast growing tumor they throw everything at. We started with Chemo called Hyper/Cvad....one of the strongest doses of chemo they have. The tumor responded and went from 22cm to 8.4 cm then got pissed off and started growing again. They took me off Chemo and Sent me to MD Anderson in Houston to be on a clinical trial. I tried that and the tumor got bigger after a month so they kicked me off and sent me back.

Now I'm laying here with this huge belly, a bad prognosis, and hooked to what they call "salvage" chemo. It doesn't look good. Basically if this chemo does not shrink the tumor I am going to die.

If it does shrink the tumor, then I have to have a bone marrow transfusion immediately to help fight the cancer. There will be a small window of opportunity and we have to find a donor match.

I"ve gone from a 32 inch waist to almost a 44". I know what a pregnant woman feels now.......you cannot get comfortable no matter what position you lie in.

My back is killing me, I'm tired, exhausted, I can't eat without throwing iit back up and I have not pooped in three days because the tumor is wrapped around my intestines.

I'm only 45 years old and not ready to die. But here I lay wondering wtf happened and how did this happened. For the first time in my life I'm actually afraid.

9 years in the Army I served. I'm proud of that. I went to college and got a degree.........I have a beautiful family........I guess I've had a good life.,

I've shot more deer than most people have seen over the years.......hell  I have killed lots of animals over the years. Shit loads of doves.......

I can't even think about the number of bullets I've fired over the years. It would be funny to see that mountain of brass. We would all smile and be proud and say "damn Jeff, you have a trigger finger left?"

The mountain of brass would shade my two story house. I can be proud of that.

I have an 8 year old son I have not taught much too. I've been pretty sick all year. He has a chipmunk rifle ready to go......Dad just needs to get better......and there are days I can barely get off the couch I'm  so sick.

Will somebody teach him when I'm gone? I sure hope so.....he's a good kid and if he's got some of his Dad in him he's gonna be a damn good shot.

Yes....these are the words of a truly dying man. I don't think I'll have any regrets.........I've always wanted to work on a project car.....you know......rebuild an old classic. 65 mustang or 72 Chevy pickup...

If I get better that's what I want to do. Chances are small and slim though and I think I finally realized that tonight. The nurses act different around me. They look sad.......they must have read my chart and seen my prognosis. It's in their eyes and faces. They won't look me in the eye......and I've been coming here for months for treatment.

Things feel different......they know. They just are not saying.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm scared..........I do know that. I guess if I had a shoulder to cry on right now I would.

Well I'll just dump this here in GD and let the ball roll.

I'm in room 700 if you got a shoulder.7th floor Harris tower...
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:11:08 AM EST
[#1]
God speed Brother o7
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:11:55 AM EST
[#2]
The fear of death follows from the fear of life.  A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.  ~Mark Twain
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:12:55 AM EST
[#3]
I've shed a few tears and am going to crack a beer in your honor.  Stay strong and don't give up hope even though it seems impossible.  Is your family nearby?
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:16:51 AM EST
[#4]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By AKFF:
I've shed a few tears and am going to crack a beer in your honor.  Stay strong and don't give up hope even though it seems impossible.  Is your family nearby?
View Quote



No, they are all home in bed, I gave them the day off.

I'm up here alone......I sure could use a buddy right now. I hate Sundays.


Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:17:35 AM EST
[#5]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:



No, they are all home in bed, I gave them the day off.

I'm up here alone......I sure could use a buddy right now. I hate Sundays.


View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:
Originally Posted By AKFF:
I've shed a few tears and am going to crack a beer in your honor.  Stay strong and don't give up hope even though it seems impossible.  Is your family nearby?



No, they are all home in bed, I gave them the day off.

I'm up here alone......I sure could use a buddy right now. I hate Sundays.




Tell me about your favorite day shooting.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:18:03 AM EST
[#6]
Or maybe your best deer hunt.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:19:34 AM EST
[#7]
Sorry to hear Brother;

Have Courage and be Courageous--That's the Best thing we can all do.

May God Bless you and your Family.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:19:41 AM EST
[#8]
Yea we are here.



Tell us stories.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:19:50 AM EST
[#9]
Im sorry brother
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:20:26 AM EST
[#10]
Make a guy start crying in here...

Hope you get to teach you boy to shoot. If it doesn't work out like that don't worry, plenty of good people around here that will make sure it's taken care of.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Could not have been easy to type that.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:20:38 AM EST
[#11]


Dude.

I can't even imagine that. Hope it turns around man, I really do.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:20:58 AM EST
[#12]
If I wasnt 12 hours away brother I would come lend an ear. Il be up for another hour if you need someone to talk to.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:22:53 AM EST
[#13]
Words fail me. Prayers sent for you and your son.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:22:55 AM EST
[#14]
My brother died at 47 years old from a non-Hodgkins lymphoma in his abdomen.  Prayers are sent.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:23:59 AM EST
[#15]
Sitting here for the last 10 minutes not knowing what to type. I'm just sad.

I'm over here in Europe, 6000 miles away, 10.20am, at work.

I'd like to hear about you Brother.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:24:18 AM EST
[#16]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Truth2882:
If I wasnt 12 hours away brother I would come lend an ear. Il be up for another hour if you need someone to talk to.
View Quote


This. Prayers bud. I wish you nothing but peace and strength.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:24:29 AM EST
[#17]
Whatever happens, if you believe, this is the only hell you'll ever know.



Thoughts and prayers.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:24:48 AM EST
[#18]
I'm sorry to hear this, friend.

Godspeed and the best of luck for you and to your family.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:25:49 AM EST
[#19]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By AKFF:


Tell me about your favorite day shooting.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By AKFF:
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:
Originally Posted By AKFF:
I've shed a few tears and am going to crack a beer in your honor.  Stay strong and don't give up hope even though it seems impossible.  Is your family nearby?



No, they are all home in bed, I gave them the day off.

I'm up here alone......I sure could use a buddy right now. I hate Sundays.




Tell me about your favorite day shooting.



I think it was a night shoot that would be my favorite. We bought 1000 rounds of the white box wolf ammo a few years ago........

I had just bought my Glock 17.........we were down in Newton Texas at the farm facing an old gate.......

Practicing quick draw........we shot all night long. I fired over 800 rounds and not 1 single FTE/FTF that night. Incredible for a new gun.

Neighbor came down....drunk as hell about 3/;00 am to see if we were going to run out of ammo lol?

We actually started shooting in the dayligh.......30-30's about.....300 rounds.

SKS........500 rounds


Been shooting all day and all night. Lots of beer and good times. I broke that Glock in good. Next season  I shot a deer with it. Right behind the left shoulder through the heart.. Small buck.....two steps...and fell.

I've killed turkey, possums, racoons,, lizards........that glock has killed a shit pile of animals and fired over 50,000 rounds by now.

I guess I'ts my favorite pistol besides my 586.

Oh man that stuff I've shot with it......wow.

I shot it so much I wore out the cylinder and had to have SW replace it lol

Its amazing.....my reloads are pretty stiff ...125gn XTP sitting on top of W296 makes the best 357 mag load on the planet ya'll.

And deadly.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:27:32 AM EST
[#20]
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:28:30 AM EST
[#21]
Prayers sent.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:29:01 AM EST
[#22]
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:If it does shrink the tumor, then I have to have a bone marrow transfusion immediately to help fight the cancer. There will be a small window of opportunity and we have to find a donor match.
View Quote
What kind of match/blood type?

Tagged, I will donate if I can.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:29:43 AM EST
[#23]
Good luck to you.  Faith in Jesus Christ is essential in situations like these.  If you don't know him it's still not to late.

I would spend the last days talking to that son of yours.  He may not remember everything but you can still tell him about alot of things and share advice.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:29:51 AM EST
[#24]
Jesus. Words fail me. I wish I could help you, my brother.  My heart goes out to you, for what it's worth.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:34:26 AM EST
[#25]
I hold a lot of hands in the back of the ambulance that are in similar situations as you.  I'm an empathetic individual and tend to put myself in others shoes.  I have a 5 y/o boy.  I think I would write him a letter explaining what kind of man I see him growing into.  The kind of thing he can read in his teens and feel inspired and then read again in his 20s and feel proud.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:35:38 AM EST
[#26]
I've got nothing..... prayers out brother....


damn...
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:35:50 AM EST
[#27]
Say what needs to be said to the ones you love. Dont put it off any longer.

Godspeed brother.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:36:06 AM EST
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By AKFF:
Or maybe your best deer hunt.
View Quote



my best deer hunt.......


It was my first in Hugo Colorado.

My dad and his buddies stayed up all night drinking beer and playing poker. I'm 16.......I get up and they are all just laying around the pop up trailer.....I want to hunt.

I get dressed and pick up a Model 700 BDL 30-06. Loaded with 165 Sierra Sptizer Boat Tail with w760 powder. There is a westernfield scope on it......


I head out east.....I walk a couple of miles and I see steam coming up from a pile of poop off the ground. I see deer tracks.........and I think wow.......this is fresh. I follow them....hill after hill.......I walk over 5 miles....


I crest another hill and wow. I'm about 1/3 of the way above the sage brush and there is this large herd of deer about 100 yards away......I duck down.

I scan the entire heard and I spot and Old Roman Nose Mule Deer......damn he's big. Look at those horns!!!!! Non Typical buck.....9 points on one side. 13 on the other. He's huge ya'll.

I settle down....line up my shot......hearts pounding........I'm breathing too hard....buck feaver.....

I get the scope on him...he jumps.......bucks.......stands still.

Ok.....crosshairs are on his right shoulder.......just below his neck I fire.

BAM

He lurches.......herd scatters..........deer everywhere.....

I stand up and watch the death throes of this magnificant animal......he lays still. I walk over slowly.......

He's dead. My god what a big  deer. I wrap whit toilet paper around his horns.........and all over the area because I knew i needed help getting him picked up and had no clue what to do.

Plus I had to remember how to get back to the trailer then get back to the damn deer. I finally made it back to to trailer and finally dragged my dad out of bed.

We got back to the deer and you should have see the proud look on his face when he saw that fucker.

I wished I was home because I have him mounted on my wall.......you guys should see this thing......he's big.

That was a great day.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:36:54 AM EST
[#29]
I believe you will be OK and you will teach your son all you know. I don't know too much of the details, but I have faith.

You have to keep a fighter spirit and not let it get the best of you.

Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:37:42 AM EST
[#30]
I'll pray for you.
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?

It's not hard to do...........Ask to see a Christian minister of any denomination.

But you can do it by yourself if you choose.

Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:37:50 AM EST
[#31]
That sounds like a hell of a night of shooting.  I have taken out a few nuisance animals up north with my revolver but have yet to take any real game with a hand gun.  Only rifles up to this point.  Bunch of black bear, some caribou, have yet to get a moose though.  When you pull through this you can bring your kid up here and I will take you guys black bear hunting in the interior.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:37:53 AM EST
[#32]
Prayers sent.  Keep us updated

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:38:04 AM EST
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GSL:
What kind of match/blood type?

Tagged, I will donate if I can.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GSL:
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:If it does shrink the tumor, then I have to have a bone marrow transfusion immediately to help fight the cancer. There will be a small window of opportunity and we have to find a donor match.
What kind of match/blood type?

Tagged, I will donate if I can.


This.  What's the procedure for determining a match?
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:38:35 AM EST
[#34]
Favorite rifle, pistol, and handgun you've owned?
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:39:26 AM EST
[#35]
I am sorry brother, it sounds as if you are keeping the fight up. I will pray for you and yours.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:39:52 AM EST
[#36]
Prayers sent.  

Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:40:05 AM EST
[#37]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GSL:
What kind of match/blood type?

Tagged, I will donate if I can.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GSL:
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:If it does shrink the tumor, then I have to have a bone marrow transfusion immediately to help fight the cancer. There will be a small window of opportunity and we have to find a donor match.
What kind of match/blood type?

Tagged, I will donate if I can.




I'm Apos



you can go to this link on my blog to donate bone marrow


It may save my life or somebody elses


My Blog


Or just go to Be the match.org
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:40:25 AM EST
[#38]
Awesome hunt story!!  There is something about getting it done on your own.  Not to mention the proud dad.  Priceless!
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:42:20 AM EST
[#39]
That's awesome that you have a son.  My kids really are the best things that have ever happened to me, as cliched as that sounds.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:42:32 AM EST
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By sjuhockey10:
Favorite rifle, pistol, and handgun you've owned?
View Quote




Favorite rifle


Marlin 1894 in .44 mag
and my Model 700 BDL

Pistol.....eeesh

I love my CZ 75, Glock 17, and my SW 586 .357

Shotgun

It would have to be my 870 Wingmaster 20 guage grandpa gave me when I was 12.

Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:43:24 AM EST
[Last Edit: AKFF] [#41]
Hell of a picture.  Hope you don't mind me posting it from your Blog.  

BTW, whoever did the IV sticks on the 6th page needs a talking to.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:43:52 AM EST
[#42]
I need to get some sleep OP since I work funky hours, but if you need someone to talk to PM me. Il be checking this thread as often as I can. Take care and get some rest.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:44:53 AM EST
[#43]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By a-bare:
I'll pray for you.
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?

It's not hard to do...........Ask to see a Christian minister of any denomination.

But you can do it by yourself if you choose.

View Quote



Yes I'm prepared. I've accepted Jesus in my heart as my savior.

Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:45:05 AM EST
[#44]
Tell us about your son. He sounds like your pride and joy. Words escape me for now, brother.... Damn...
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:45:44 AM EST
[#45]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By AKFF:
Hell of a picture.  Hope you don't mind me posting it from your Blog.  
http://beautifuldayinparadise.com/wp-content/uploads/IMAG01031-e1367700653276-149x300.jpg
BTW, whoever did the IV sticks on the 6th page needs a talking to.
View Quote


LOL that's fine
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:46:40 AM EST
[#46]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By sjuhockey10:


This.  What's the procedure for determining a match?
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By sjuhockey10:
Originally Posted By GSL:
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:If it does shrink the tumor, then I have to have a bone marrow transfusion immediately to help fight the cancer. There will be a small window of opportunity and we have to find a donor match.
What kind of match/blood type?

Tagged, I will donate if I can.


This.  What's the procedure for determining a match?


I did this recently for a Ft Bliss soldier who I read about in the newspaper. You must be younger than 60 years of age if I remember correctly, and all they do is swab your mouth and have you fill out a questionnaire. Once you are done, they ask if you would like to be placed in the national database in case you are a match for someone else.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:48:01 AM EST
[#47]
My thoughts are with you.

Do you have a medical fund set up or anything like that to help you and your family?
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:48:53 AM EST
[#48]
Wishing you the best brother.

It looks like you had a lot of fun times.  Tell us more.  We're here.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:48:55 AM EST
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:


LOL that's fine
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Fatalwishes:
Originally Posted By AKFF:
Hell of a picture.  Hope you don't mind me posting it from your Blog.  
http://beautifuldayinparadise.com/wp-content/uploads/IMAG01031-e1367700653276-149x300.jpg
BTW, whoever did the IV sticks on the 6th page needs a talking to.


LOL that's fine



Hey man, if you need someone to talk to, IM me and I can either call you or give you my number to call me. I'm praying for you.
Link Posted: 10/28/2013 4:50:08 AM EST
[#50]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Blade_Runner79:
Tell us about your son. He sounds like your pride and joy. Words escape me for now, brother.... Damn...
View Quote



Well he's special that's for sure


He was a month and a half early. My wife was placenta previa.....meaning she bled a lot with this child. He was taken by ceserean and had clubbed feet.


Really bad clubbed feet. We spent 3 years in casts and therapy getting him to walk. Thank god for Scottish Rite Hospital. They sponsored him and got his feet straightened out.

we went through three surgeries with this kid......drove to dallas 3 times a week for therapy...............man he was cute though.


Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 208
REST IN PEACE (Page 1 of 208)
An error occurred on the server when processing the URL. Please contact the system administrator.

If you are the system administrator please click here to find out more about this error.