[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Post your witty comebacks (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 2/2/2011 2:11:26 PM EDT
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I had a pretty good one today. I was leaving work early for a doctor apointment and a coworker/friend saw me leaving. Co-worker: Damn! You are leaving already Me: Yeah. Doctor Appointment Co-worker: Oh really? What for? Me: Getting checked for VD. I have been burning up since that run in with your mother last week. Co-worker: You Bastard!  |
I was playing COD:BO the other night and was raping folks left and right - as usual.  At one point I was like 14 or 15 and 0. I was reloading at an inopportune time and one of the dudes I was playing with ended up killing me. We had the following convo in Vent:Him: "HA! Take that dude!" Me: "Well, you know, I'm actually ADA compliant. Sometimes I let myself get killed by those who are - er - how shall I put this? ...challenged. It nets me a tax break and makes them feel good about themselves. You feel good? "There was much laughter in Vent. (Ridge - it was Spoofy I was talking to  ) |
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I was walking down the street in Sacramento. As I was walking I passed a group of black folk. One of them looked at me and in his "whitest" and nerdiest voice said to me, "What's up, dude?"
Noting a hint a racism in his voice, I snapped back, "What's G-thug-a-lugg'en, Homie." He looked back at his buddies and his buddies gave him the "you just get served" look. 
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Quoted:
I had a pretty good one today. I was leaving work early for a doctor apointment and a coworker/friend saw me leaving. Co-worker: Damn! You are leaving already Me: Yeah. Doctor Appointment Co-worker: Oh really? What for? Me: Getting checked for VD. I have been burning up since that run in with your mother last week. Co-worker: You Bastard! "I want free healthcare...." People in Hell want ice-water too...... |
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Quoted:
I was walking down the street in Sacramento. As I was walking I passed a group of black folk. One of them looked at me and in his "whitest" and nerdiest voice said to me, "What's up, dude?" Noting a hint a racism in his voice, I snapped back, "What's G-thug-a-lugg'en, Homie." He looked back at his buddies and his buddies gave him the "you just get served" look.  Straight kickin' it right there dawg.
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While filling up at a local gas station, I bought a car wash code at the pump. The receipt printer was out of paper, so I went inside to get a printout. The girl working behind the counter was new, and got a bit frustrated trying to get me a printout. Girl - "Sorry... Jake was supposed to put more paper in that pump" Me - "No worries" after a few more minutes... Girl - "Sorry, I'm in training still and Jake hasn't taught me how to do this stuff yet" Me - "No problem" Girl - (joking) "I'm just saying it's all his fault" Me - "It's no problem, it doesn't need to be anybody's fault" Girl - "Well what if I WANT it to be somebody's fault?" Me - "Well, that's what makes you a woman" Ba dump ching! She pretended to look shocked, but I could see she thought it was pretty funny.
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Quoted:
I had a pretty good one today. I was leaving work early for a doctor apointment and a coworker/friend saw me leaving. Co-worker: Damn! You are leaving already Me: Yeah. Doctor Appointment Co-worker: Oh really? What for? Me: Getting checked for VD. I have been burning up since that run in with your mother last week. Co-worker: You Bastard! Hey let's get off moms.....because I just got off of yours!! Fixed 
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Quoted:
I had a pretty good one today. I was leaving work early for a doctor apointment and a coworker/friend saw me leaving. Co-worker: Damn! You are leaving already Me: Yeah. Doctor Appointment Co-worker: Oh really? What for? Me: Getting checked for VD. I have been burning up since that run in with your mother last week. Co-worker: You Bastard! Me: your just mad because you Father was the garbage man! |
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With the wife,looking at clockes at a store. I point to one that looks like a drift boat. OBR: That would be perfect for my man cave!!! Wife: Man cave? Whats would a girls be caled? OBR: A girls what called?  Wife: A "Mancave" for a girl. OBR: Grinning," The kitchen!!!" Wife:  OBR:
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