Posted: 12/8/2006 6:46:28 PM EDT
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THIS IS AN INTERESTING POINT OF VIEW ........................................ At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
Go ahead and show her. She'll probably laugh. (at you) 
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 I would. It's not offensive, although I must state for the record that I had to shush my hubby a couple times last night while we were trying to watch Dogfight on THC.
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I don't find it offensive in the least either. Some women might. To each her own. And Ginger, I don't have to shush the mister during Dogfight -- but we do wrestle over the remote because we both like to rewind and replay the best parts. But he dang well better not get between me and the screen when host Hunter Ellis comes on Man Moment Machine 
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I have to fisk this.  It's kinda sarcastic, please forgive me. I am on powerful medicine right now.
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I must add one of my own to the list. Being less than perfect, just like you or anyone else, I'm GOING to make a mistake or two from time to time. Don't expect perfection because it doesn't exist. I don't expect you to easily forgive me if I've made the same mistake twice, but a single mistake made with NO intent to do harm to you is something that must ALWAYS be forgiven. A mistake that causes you to be harmed in some way, emotionally or physically, may be forgiven if it was done without malice, in time. But once a mistake is forgiven, IT IS HISTORY, NEVER AGAIN TO BE BROUGHT BACK OUT AND THROWN BACK AT ME IN A FUTURE DISAGREEMENT. The past is the past. Digging up a man's old mistakes to throw at him again in a new argument says just one thing to me: "I'm a spiteful bitch who's soon going to be divorced with extreme prejudice whether I know it or not." I'm not kidding. Not in the slightest. A common characteristic of almost EVERY divorce I have personal knowledge of is that in nearly every case, the wife had a habit of throwing the husband's past mistakes at him in new arguments, even though she had previously forgiven him for them, or so she said, anyway. That is unforgivable. That is something I will NEVER tolerate. The past is done, dead, and buried. It stays buried. I won't tolerate necrophilia of any sort. CJ |
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It takes a special kind of pussified metro-sexual wannabe "my angle is to show e'm how sensitive I am" dork to spend a shitload of time on teh intarweb trying to write a rebuttal to the tongue in cheek man rules. Cripes. I mean, seriously. WTF, dude? Go find your funny bone. It might be whereever you left your testicles. |
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I am glad that I never married anyone that required me to bring up rules like these. Marry a loser and you get a nag. Be a winner. Be selfless. You will never feel like you have the short end of the stick. Be a winner and you will marry a winner. Be a loser.....well, misery loves company. Just my 2c |
Hi CJ, I was actually referring to the post above yours, with the "counterpoints" in red. You know, the one that basically screams: "Look ladies! I am so interested in showing what a nice guy I am that I'll spend 10 minutes turning a silly spoof on male stereo types into a serious exposition of my view of the flaws of men, while hinting I have no such flaws.... will someone here please date me?!" I mean, serious question for the ladies: Isn't the "all guys suck but I'm not like that" the most transparent ploy there is? Can't you see through it from a 1000 miles away? CJ, your post, of course, about the need to let bygones be bygones, is right on except for two things: 1. Both men AND women are equally capable of dredging up shit from the past and throwing it back out as ammo. I've seen it both ways. 2. There is one scenario where "old shit" does come up, legitimately in my view. And that's where there's been a slight, an offense, or a letdown, or whatever, and then it happens AGAIN. And AGAIN. And AGAIN. In that case, its fair for the other partner, man or woman, to say to the offender: You know this sucks, you know it hurts me, and you keep doing it. Exhibits A, B, C, D, E.... so you know, see ya. Take care, Gonz. |
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You're right on all counts. I'd expect equal treatment in every case. If I ask someone not to do something, I won't do it to them, either. Frankly, a prime reason my brother is now happily divorced is because his ex-wife dragged all previous disagreements into the most recent argument. NOTHING was ever TRULY forgiven. It was just thrown into the ammo bin for the next big blowup. Anyone who knew that was happening could see the divorce coming from a million miles away. That's not the way to be. Not the way to treat people you allegedly care about. CJ |