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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:38:31 AM EDT
Am I dreaming or is the planet getting more STUPID by the day?
Example: Some woman keeps calling my office and asking for Gladys. "Nobody here by that name." I reply. "Are you sure?......I called her at this number yesterday." she replies. "I'm sure, no Gladys here." Lady hangs up. Lady calls 5 minutes latter.........."Is Gladys there?" "NO, Gladys is NOT HERE. There is NO Gladys here.....OK?" Lady hangs up. 10 minutes later.......Yep, another call......."Is Gladys there?" It's a good thing for this IMBECILE that I had a patient in my office or I'd have blasted this TWIT! "There is NO GLADYS HERE! DO NOT CALL HERE AGAIN OR I WILL REPORT THIS TO THE PHONE COMPANY AS HARASSMENT!" MORONS!!!!!!  |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:42:13 AM EDT
[#1]
Are you sure you're not Gladys?
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:44:06 AM EDT
[#2]
No reason to get mad. Just put the person on hold...indefinitely.z
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:45:12 AM EDT
[#3]
Good idea. "Please hold while I try and locate this Gladys..." |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:46:17 AM EDT
[#4]
Is Gladys there?
I have been getting a lot of no english speaking calls lately at the office. |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:48:21 AM EDT
[#5]
Yes, Gladys is here...
But she can't talk right now, because she's smoking my pole. I can take a message if you'd like? 
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:51:50 AM EDT
[#6]
We were getting calls from a Chinese lady who could barely speak English insisting that the person she wanted to speak to lived here. She'd call every 10 or 15 minutes, this went on for weeks. She finally gave up I guess.
But yeah... morons seem to be becoming more numerous every year. 
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:52:22 AM EDT
[#7]
Make something up.
Next time she calls, tell her: "Gladys just left with some brother from downtown that's half her age. She gave us all a snort of her Jack Daniels before she left. Said she was going to the Expressway Motel to get loosened up, or loosen up, or something like that. She said to tell you that the check is in the mail and for you to quit calling." 
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:56:56 AM EDT
[#8]
The intelligence quotient of the universe is constant.
The population is growing.
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Posted: 8/23/2006 10:59:49 AM EDT
[#9]
That happened to my coworker last week. She got something like 5 wrong number calls from the same person. Nothing she said could stop that idiot from redialing the same wrong number.
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:11:21 AM EDT
[#10]
Ah....Peak Intelligence. |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:16:28 AM EDT
[#11]
Tell her that Gladys passed away, and that services are being held Friday at.....
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:20:53 AM EDT
[#12]
"There ain't no Thema here! The bitch don't live here!"
(Amazon Women on the Moon, for those who don't get the reference...) |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:25:49 AM EDT
[#13]
"Hello this is Gladys, have there been any calls or messages for me"
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:26:59 AM EDT
[#14]
<evil thought>
wonder if I IM'd Tumor..... Hi, I'm Gladys. Did anyone call for me today? SouthHoof --->  <----Tumor |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:30:48 AM EDT
[#15]
I had a similar situation with a woman that had creditors calling my office. She used to work here but left. I got her old number and I got calls for her for years.
I never did this but I came close. Get the number of a local strip club. Tell the caller that Gladys doesn’t work here anymore but you have her new work number… |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:31:30 AM EDT
[#16]
google the following:
YAAFM 12 ......and then watch the ZipperFish Vid on the subject of Moron's |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:41:46 AM EDT
[#17]
We've got some dimwit who calls the house every day several times a day, and when the answering machine kicks on, doesn't say a damn thing. We use the answering machine to screen calls and if they don't start to leave a message, we dont' pick up. The dummy hasn't figured this out yet.
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:42:45 AM EDT
[#18]
Don't get mad ..get Gladys
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:45:14 AM EDT
[#19]
Oh shit  I know what I am telling the next "Wrong number" 
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:55:18 AM EDT
[#20]
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Posted: 8/23/2006 11:56:56 AM EDT
[#21]
Got rid of my phone over two years ago. Haven't missed it one single time.
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Posted: 8/23/2006 12:05:20 PM EDT
[#22]
I've used variations of this theme for years, with excellent results. |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 12:08:09 PM EDT
[#23]
Used to get a lot of calls for Chinese restaurant. Finally starting taking reservations. Wish I could have seen the fun there.
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Posted: 8/23/2006 12:13:31 PM EDT
[#24]
Some friends of mine in college used to do this all the time with wrong numbers - "She can't come to the phone right now, my dick's in her mouth." Then one day a bunch of us were hanging out in his room when the phone rang, wrong number. For some reason he got flustered and said "she can't come to the phone right now, her dick's in my mouth." I think he stopped doing it after that. |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 12:22:02 PM EDT
[#25]
Oh goodness that is so mean, yet I wish I could have seen the fun, too. 
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Posted: 8/23/2006 12:26:49 PM EDT
[#26]
Used to do that with cold callers, before the do not call list |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 12:28:11 PM EDT
[#27]
An eye for an eye...
Moron: Is Gladys there? Person: My name is TUMOR Moron: Is Gladys there? Person: My name is TUMOR Moron: Is Gladys there? Person: My name is TUMOR Moron gets pissed and hangs up.
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Posted: 8/23/2006 12:37:31 PM EDT
[#28]
In a parallel universe maybe? |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 2:53:58 PM EDT
[#29]
I've used the reverse in dealing with telemarketers. I pretend I'm a Chinese restaurant - yes, I do the accent well - and ask if they want to place an order or if they want eggroll. I had two hang up on ME! Yessss! I rule! Hasn't been one since: maybe they have their own "do not call this nut" list |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 4:16:38 PM EDT
[#30]
Had an older lady call my house looking for Mary or some such person.
Told her she had the wrong number. Just sit back down the phone rings Same woman wanting Mary, tell her she has the wrong number. Sit back down the phone rings. Same woman, I tell her theres no Mary here. She asks if I am the person she just talked to I say yes. Sit down phone rings..... Same woman, as soon as I say hello, she recognises my voice and says, "oh sorry I have the wrong number again" I say" Hold on and let me check Lady, maybe I am in the wrong house." You know you are evil when you make a little old lady slam down the phone.... |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 4:21:36 PM EDT
[#31]
Some halfwit just left me a voicemail today on my cell phone, leaving a message for her boyfriend, or co-worker or something.
It's particularly suprising, because my recorded voice mail message is my cat, loudly meowing into the microphone. What kind of a bonehead doesn't start to wonder if it's the correct number when they get that recording instead of one by the person they are trying to call?? |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 4:25:52 PM EDT
[#32]
Your cat!? Wtf...
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Posted: 8/23/2006 4:26:14 PM EDT
[#33]
hey,
gladys just called me. wanted me to ask you if she had any messages for her. |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 4:28:34 PM EDT
[#34]
My wife is pretty much the only person in the world that has my cell phone number, so I don't feel like I need a recording telling people to leave a message, or whose phone it is. Plus, it cracked her up the first time she heard it (years ago), and so I've just kept it.
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Posted: 8/23/2006 4:30:03 PM EDT
[#35]
Ah, and so many people won't even understand that statement. |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 4:52:58 PM EDT
[#36]
I'm not making fun of you or anything like that, just one of those things I'd never expect to hear of...
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Posted: 8/23/2006 4:56:56 PM EDT
[#37]
“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.” —Frank Zappa
my old sig line |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 5:03:52 PM EDT
[#38]
A couple weeks ago I got a call from someone whose number I didn't recognize on caller ID. I picked it up and it was a woman asking in Spanish for Julio.
 I said "No hablo espanol," and hung up. She called back a couple minutes later asking for Julio. I started ranting in German. She hung up. I also had one guy call me wanting to place an order for a pizza. I don't know if it was a prank call or what. But I took his order, got his address, and told him the pizza should be there in 30-45 minutes. He never called back.
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Posted: 8/23/2006 5:07:59 PM EDT
[#39]
The entire Congress and the President are MORONS...so is 95% of American!! |
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Posted: 8/23/2006 5:19:13 PM EDT
[#40]
Years ago I got a call from somebody's "Mom" and this broad was STUPID! She wanted to call the son's probation officer and say that her son was deathly ill and wouldn't be at work.........seems he was back in the slammer if he missed work without informing the probation office. I kept telling her time after time that she had the wrong number and I wasn't the probation officer and she needed to check the # she was dialing. She didn't listen...........I finally said "Oh wait! There's Walter the custodian......you can leave a message with him!"  .............I put on my best "Walter the custodian" voice and led her along thru the "note" to be left on the probation officers desk.Her last words were "Now you'll be sure to get this to the probation officer right, or my boy goes back to jail?!?!" "I'll put it on his desk myself!" said "Walter". I hope the boy did BIG TIME for breaking his probation! Anyone that stupid......shouldn't procreate!!!!!!! 
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