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Posted: 8/31/2001 9:26:21 PM EDT
[i]For all technophobes ...[/i] [b]Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on a computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job". So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every profanity known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted his computer. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone!It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?" God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves".[/b]
Link Posted: 8/31/2001 10:42:29 PM EDT
[i]OK, even dumber![/i] [b]A frog walks into a bank and asks for a loan of $190,000.00 for a new pond. Ms Patricia Whack the teller, says they'll definitely need some collateral for a loan of that size. So he shows her this thing he has -- sort of gaudy plastic egg with knobs, & fake jewels glued on. Then he says, if it makes any difference, your boss knows me, just tell him it's Kermit Jagger. Oh - okaaay, she says, and goes to ask the bank manager what to do with this nut. She says to the bank manager - I have this frog out here wanting a loan for almost 200-K ! He says his name is Kermit Jagger, and you know him, and all he has for collateral is this thing, and I don't even know WTF it is! The bank manager looks at it and says: It's a nick-nack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone! _________________________________________ A joke so stupid, I bet you smiled!?!? R[/b]
Link Posted: 8/31/2001 11:18:26 PM EDT
The first one was good and I did smile at the second one.
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