We are always hearing about how dumb people are in the South, so we
challenge any so-called smart Yankees to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that
   will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
    blocks in your front yard?
    (A) '65 Ford Fairlane
    (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
    (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
   gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
   required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The
  density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per
  acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14
  inches. How many Budweiser’s will be drunk before the trees are cut
  down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with
  a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is
  16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
  collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with
   an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his
   grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have
   enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
   slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
   traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that
   it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long
   will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to
   breed a country-western singer?