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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 6/21/2003 6:10:11 AM EST
 Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts from  National Public Radio and an Israeli soldier were  hiking through the jungle one day when they were  captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to the  village and brought before the chief.      The chief said, "I am familiar with your western  custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before  we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?"      Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like  one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili." The chief  nodded to an underling, who left and returned with  the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can  die content."      Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this  life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the  poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing  "We Shall Overcome" one last time."      The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening."      Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can  die in peace."      Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I  want to take out my tape recorder and describe the  scene here and what's about to happen.  Maybe  someday someone will hear it and know that I was on  the job til the end."      The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape  recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She  then said, "Now I can die happy."      The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Israeli  soldier, what is your final wish?"      "Kick me in the ass." said the Israeli.      "What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your  last hour?"      "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the  ass." insisted the Israeli.       So the chief untied the soldier, shoved him into  the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Israeli  went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a Glock 30 from his waistband, and shot the chief  dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his  knapsack, pulled out his uzi, and sprayed the  cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals  were dead or fleeing for their lives.       As the Israeli was untying the others, they asked  him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you  ask them to kick you in the ass?"       "What!?" said the Israeli, "And have you jerks call ME the aggressor?!? 
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 6:16:21 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 6:18:14 AM EST
Great freakin punch line, yet sad because it's true.
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 6:35:22 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/21/2003 6:56:59 AM EST
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