I was in pretty much the same place as you are in. We both wanted out and for a long time, neither of us was willing to give in, finally we realized it was over and we were just prolonging the agony.
I was working for her dad at the time and continued to do so for over a year afterward. I was still welcome at her parents' house and still got on well with her sister and brother and cousins who I saw regularly.
We had no common property and no mutual debt, so that wasn't a problem, all we wanted was a clean break. I basically left with what I came in with plus a few bits of gear that I had acquired along the way and could only be used by me. One lawyer, simple document, we sat down and split up the property without a fight then walked away.
The feelings of failure are perfectly natural, but unfounded. You didn't fail at marriage, you failed at dating. You both picked the wrong person from the outset, either because you didn't know yourselves well enough or didn't know how to judge people better.
The bottom line is that you have to look at all this as a learning experience. You need to do an after action review of your relationship and roles in it and figure out what you might be able to do better next time around.
You may not agree with all your ex-wife's assessments of what you did wrong, some of them will be unfounded, but others may bear some thinking about. Learn from it and try to walk away clean.
If it turns into a fight, there is no way to walk away clean. So try to keep from turning it into a fight.
Sounds like Alimony won't be a problem as she apparently has more money than you, so barring abuse or infidelity (don't go messing around now either) you shouldn't be in bad shape when its all over.
Good luck to you and keep your head up. The story isn't coming to an end, you just turned the page to a new chapter.