[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Break-ups suck (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 11/23/2015 1:41:18 PM EDT
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Just broke up with my girlfriend of two and a half years. I wanted to have a future together and she couldn't decide what she wanted, so we decided to split up.
Why does it fucking hurt so bad? EDIT: Thanks GD, you always know how to make a man feel like a gay piece of shit  oh and here's the best response yet:
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Count yourself lucky that it happened before marriage and kids. THIS RIGHT HERE. If you thought she was the one, and it turns out she wasn't, learn from that and remember it the next time you think you have the one. Get married. Have kids. You turn out to have been wrong again and now you're fucked for the next several years of your life. |
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It's ok bud, we have all been there. Some of us have coped by sitting home and sobbing over pictures of our ex while finishing off our second bottle of Pinot. Others, have gone down to Mexico and drank her memories away while enjoying the company of pretty Senorita.
In the end, young people don't die of a broken heart, so you will be fine. Are you planning on doing anything to help you get over her. I have found that another women always helps. Nurses and Psych majors seem to be the most fun. Also, can you afford to buy a boat? |
| It really does suck. Allow it to suck for a little while, then get out and start looking around. Tough to see right now, but our hearts have excellent regenerative abilities and you'll be fine again soon. Hitting the gym in the meantime is ALWAYS a good idea. Endorphins + looking and feeling better = you getting better a lot faster. |
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You should rent your house out to 3 wimmenz and become a sex slave And chauffeur, and chef, and butler, and cleaning person, and fix-it dude. One is hard enough and three will drive you nuts; unless you're their pimp and then three isn't enough.
Breaking up does suck but face it, it's better to break up now than be married to her with kids and then have a break up. That would really suck. |
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bummer dude. I did that in june
All I can suggest is find things to be active. Go to the gym. Volunteer work. Group activities. Go back to school. Find friends you stopped talking to and pick back up with them I'm doing all of those things. Took me a month of feeling like shit but I'm happier now |
| Losing something that's important to you is always tough, be it a dog, friend, relative, or significant other. Time will pass, you'll move on, and life will return to normal. If you felt nothing when you lost something important to you, it either wasn't that important, or you're a sociopath. So grieve for a moment, then pick up and carry on. Don't be a sociopath. |
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I'm 57 years old. Just divorced after 20 years. I have a real bad empty feeling right now. But, I've been down this road so many times I know it will get better. And what don't kill you will make you stronger.
I should be one tough SOB but it's still pretty rough. Good luck with your healing process. |
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They suck at first.
And then one day you wake up and realize you slept better than you ever have in your life, that your house is clean, that you can go do whatever you want without dragging a whining shit with you, and you start to accept that life is pretty damn good. |
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Count yourself lucky that it happened before marriage and kids. THIS RIGHT HERE. If you thought she was the one, and it turns out she wasn't, learn from that and remember it the next time you think you have the one. Get married. Have kids. You turn out to have been wrong again and now you're fucked for the next several years of your life. |
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Got this from my ex this morning. We divorced back in 2000. I haven't reached out to her. http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee126/jeep450/F74EFEF5-6AFC-4FAB-A2F5-5D1A790C86CB.jpg Is she in AA right now? |
| You cannot join/bond yourself with someone and then separate yourself from that bonding and come out of it unscathed. It's like cutting off your arm....it takes awhile. "And the two shall no longer be two, but become ONE FLESH". Silly people wanting THEIR OWN LAWS to supersede God's Laws. |
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Got this from my ex this morning. We divorced back in 2000. I haven't reached out to her. http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee126/jeep450/F74EFEF5-6AFC-4FAB-A2F5-5D1A790C86CB.jpg Unless she's in AA, then she isn't doing great and isn't happy. |
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You cannot join/bond yourself with someone and then separate yourself from that bonding and come out of it unscathed. It's like cutting off your arm....it takes awhile. "And the two shall no longer be two, but become ONE FLESH". Silly people wanting THEIR OWN LAWS to supersede God's Laws. It was his girlfriend, not his wife. Simmer down. |
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My neighbor just divorced his wife and they were together 30years!! They went to her class reunion and she started having late
night conversions with a dude she used to know. Time will heal the heart but it does take time. Better to find out now and start looking for the one you can build a future with. |
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Is she in AA right now? Quoted:
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Got this from my ex this morning. We divorced back in 2000. I haven't reached out to her. http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee126/jeep450/F74EFEF5-6AFC-4FAB-A2F5-5D1A790C86CB.jpg Is she in AA right now? Fuck if I know. That bitch was broken back then, why do you think I fired her ass. |
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They suck at first. And then one day you wake up and realize you slept better than you ever have in your life, that your house is clean, that you can go do whatever you want without dragging a whining shit with you, and you start to accept that life is pretty damn good. No kidding, right? My ex was a neat freak and was always cleaning. She moved out, and my house is pretty much always clean anyways. I have no problems keeping up with it, I just don't have to hear the complaining. My son and I went to the deer lease to do some work a couple months ago and figured we'd be back home around noon. We ended up getting home around 5pm. Guess who cared? No one. How much bitching did I hear? None. I'll probably end up with someone but they need to be easy going and low maintenance. Just a decent person who wants to enjoy life and get along. There might be a few left out there, I'm not sure. |
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You cannot join/bond yourself with someone and then separate yourself from that bonding and come out of it unscathed. It's like cutting off your arm....it takes awhile. "And the two shall no longer be two, but become ONE FLESH". Silly people wanting THEIR OWN LAWS to supersede God's Laws. lol Sometimes it's like cutting off an annoying conjoined twin. |
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Unless she's in AA, then she isn't doing great and isn't happy. Quoted:
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Got this from my ex this morning. We divorced back in 2000. I haven't reached out to her. http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee126/jeep450/F74EFEF5-6AFC-4FAB-A2F5-5D1A790C86CB.jpg Unless she's in AA, then she isn't doing great and isn't happy. Don't know but I'm guessing you're correct on the last 2. |
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I dated a girl for nearly 5 years. She did not want to get married and I did. When we split up I was devastated. I had spent so much of my life thinking she was going to complete me.
Now I am married to a woman who is SOOOOOOOOO much better for me, and when I think about what marriage would have looked like with that girl I thought was great, I realize how bad marriage to her would have been. What I said does not take away the pain for you I know. I know exactly the pain you are feeling, and you think you can never feel love for another like her. But you can. It will take time. Hang in there. |
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Don't know but I'm guessing you're correct on the last 2. Quoted:
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Got this from my ex this morning. We divorced back in 2000. I haven't reached out to her. http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee126/jeep450/F74EFEF5-6AFC-4FAB-A2F5-5D1A790C86CB.jpg Unless she's in AA, then she isn't doing great and isn't happy. Don't know but I'm guessing you're correct on the last 2. You are on to something there. Truly happy people don't usually reach out to ex's for no reason. |
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No kidding, right? My ex was a neat freak and was always cleaning. She moved out, and my house is pretty much always clean anyways. I have no problems keeping up with it, I just don't have to hear the complaining. My son and I went to the deer lease to do some work a couple months ago and figured we'd be back home around noon. We ended up getting home around 5pm. Guess who cared? No one. How much bitching did I hear? None. I'll probably end up with someone but they need to be easy going and low maintenance. Just a decent person who wants to enjoy life and get along. There might be a few left out there, I'm not sure. Quoted:
Quoted:
They suck at first. And then one day you wake up and realize you slept better than you ever have in your life, that your house is clean, that you can go do whatever you want without dragging a whining shit with you, and you start to accept that life is pretty damn good. No kidding, right? My ex was a neat freak and was always cleaning. She moved out, and my house is pretty much always clean anyways. I have no problems keeping up with it, I just don't have to hear the complaining. My son and I went to the deer lease to do some work a couple months ago and figured we'd be back home around noon. We ended up getting home around 5pm. Guess who cared? No one. How much bitching did I hear? None. I'll probably end up with someone but they need to be easy going and low maintenance. Just a decent person who wants to enjoy life and get along. There might be a few left out there, I'm not sure. No more snoring. No more whiskers in the sink. No more pepsi cans on every surface. No more dirty clothes piled in the bathroom, piled on the laundry room floor, dumped on the floor next to the hamper. No more socks migrating all over the place. No more dorito crumbs all over the couch. No more half-empty soda cups from fast food places. No more shit splattered toilets. It's fucking beautiful. I go to bed when I want, wake up when I want, enjoy time with my dog, watch whatever shows I want, play my favorite music while I clean the house. I can read a book without constant interruptions. I was sad, at first, but now? I'm deeply in love with my quiet, peaceful, drama free existence. It's delightful. |
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It was his girlfriend, not his wife. Simmer down. Quoted:
Quoted:
You cannot join/bond yourself with someone and then separate yourself from that bonding and come out of it unscathed. It's like cutting off your arm....it takes awhile. "And the two shall no longer be two, but become ONE FLESH". Silly people wanting THEIR OWN LAWS to supersede God's Laws. It was his girlfriend, not his wife. Simmer down. I bet he had sex with her, though. God hates sex before marriage!! 
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No more snoring. No more whiskers in the sink. No more pepsi cans on every surface. No more dirty clothes piled in the bathroom, piled on the laundry room floor, dumped on the floor next to the hamper. No more socks migrating all over the place. No more dorito crumbs all over the couch. No more half-empty soda cups from fast food places. No more shit splattered toilets. It's fucking beautiful. I go to bed when I want, wake up when I want, enjoy time with my dog, watch whatever shows I want, play my favorite music while I clean the house. I can read a book without constant interruptions. I was sad, at first, but now? I'm deeply in love with my quiet, peaceful, drama free existence. It's delightful. Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
They suck at first. And then one day you wake up and realize you slept better than you ever have in your life, that your house is clean, that you can go do whatever you want without dragging a whining shit with you, and you start to accept that life is pretty damn good. No kidding, right? My ex was a neat freak and was always cleaning. She moved out, and my house is pretty much always clean anyways. I have no problems keeping up with it, I just don't have to hear the complaining. My son and I went to the deer lease to do some work a couple months ago and figured we'd be back home around noon. We ended up getting home around 5pm. Guess who cared? No one. How much bitching did I hear? None. I'll probably end up with someone but they need to be easy going and low maintenance. Just a decent person who wants to enjoy life and get along. There might be a few left out there, I'm not sure. No more snoring. No more whiskers in the sink. No more pepsi cans on every surface. No more dirty clothes piled in the bathroom, piled on the laundry room floor, dumped on the floor next to the hamper. No more socks migrating all over the place. No more dorito crumbs all over the couch. No more half-empty soda cups from fast food places. No more shit splattered toilets. It's fucking beautiful. I go to bed when I want, wake up when I want, enjoy time with my dog, watch whatever shows I want, play my favorite music while I clean the house. I can read a book without constant interruptions. I was sad, at first, but now? I'm deeply in love with my quiet, peaceful, drama free existence. It's delightful. I agree 1000% , as thats how it is at my house......however, dont get too enamored with it , its real easy to lose 5-10 years. Were not supposed to be alone , imho . 
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Perhaps you dodged a bullet OP.
The other day I had a acquaintance that was supposed to come by and look at a gun he wanted to trade for while he was in town. He called back a bit later and said his GF said he had to come straight home and could he reschedule? I just laughed and said no and that he needs to find him another GF.
Now had he called and said that he changed his mind on the trade that would have been just fine as there was no prior agreement, just a look-see, but to tell another man that your fucking GF has you on a leash that short is inconceivable. 
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I agree 1000% , as thats how it is at my house......however, dont get too enamored with it , its real easy to lose 5-10 years. Were not supposed to be alone , imho . Oh, I know. Eventually it will be nice to find someone and settle back down. I'm just in no real hurry. 
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