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Posted: 8/26/2005 10:31:46 AM EDT

I've got this strange little bump on my face. It's not there all the time. Actually, it only appears maybe once a month. Once it does appear, it goes away in about 15 minutes. It's just a red bump. Doesn't hurt. Doesn't itch. WTF?

Posted: 8/26/2005 10:32:50 AM EDT

[#1]

Spider eggs.

- BG

Posted: 8/26/2005 10:33:51 AM EDT

[#2]

Posted: 8/26/2005 10:34:33 AM EDT

[#3]

Face Alien...

Posted: 8/26/2005 10:44:32 AM EDT

[#4]

Hives maybe?

Posted: 8/26/2005 2:38:53 PM EDT

[#5]

You have what is called face crabs (Facicus Crabicus). Stop sticking your face where it doesn't belong, and maybe, just maybe, it will go away.

Posted: 8/26/2005 2:40:48 PM EDT

[#6]

Tumor. Definatley a malignant tumor.

Nice knowin' ya.

Posted: 8/26/2005 2:40:49 PM EDT

[#7]

Uticaria

Posted: 8/26/2005 2:51:26 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Tumor. Definatley a malignant tumor.

Nice knowin' ya.

It's not a tumah!

Posted: 8/26/2005 2:51:36 PM EDT

[#9]

You are on the rag.

Posted: 8/26/2005 2:54:03 PM EDT

[#10]

probably harmless, but if it bothers you that much get an appointment with a dermatologist.

Posted: 8/26/2005 2:58:03 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
You are on the rag.

Just kidding!!!

Could be a cyst???

Posted: 8/26/2005 4:10:39 PM EDT

[#12]

Aneurysm

An aneurysm (AN'u-rizm) is a bulge in a blood vessel, much like a bulge on an
over-inflated inner tube. When an aneurysm ruptures, blood escapes, hemorrhage occurs and can lead to a hemorrhagic stroke, brain damage and death.

You're gonna die.

Posted: 8/26/2005 4:12:09 PM EDT

[#13]

Next time it pops up, hit it with a hammer.

Posted: 8/26/2005 4:13:24 PM EDT

[#14]

Ectopic endometrial tissue

Posted: 8/26/2005 4:15:01 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
I've got this strange little bump on my face.

Your nose?

Posted: 8/26/2005 4:15:39 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Ectopic endometrial tissue

Endometrial tissue? I can do a D and C for ya. I will give you a ARFCOM discount. I just now have to figure out where to insert the speculum.

Posted: 8/26/2005 4:57:11 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Ectopic endometrial tissue

Endometrial tissue? I can do a D and C for ya. I will give you a ARFCOM discount. I just now have to figure out where to insert the speculum.

Doc...YOU are one SICK bastard!!!

Posted: 8/26/2005 6:56:18 PM EDT

[#18]

Bend over please, this wont hurt me a bit.

Posted: 8/26/2005 7:44:53 PM EDT

[#19]

Some parasites do that as they crawl around under one’s skin.
They are not much of a problem until they decide to burrow into your eyeball.
Have you ever been to north east Asia or ate raw or undercooked river fish?

It is probably nothing but I would go to a doctor just in case.

Posted: 8/26/2005 7:55:19 PM EDT

[#20]

You guys are killin me!

Posted: 8/27/2005 1:50:49 PM EDT

[#21]

I still say face crabs!
You need to put a plastic bag on your head, those little fuckers can jump!!

Posted: 8/27/2005 2:30:30 PM EDT

[#22]

Nerves. Its amazing at what the body can do to you under stress. At least that is my guess.

Posted: 8/28/2005 6:25:08 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:

Endometrial tissue? I can do a D and C for ya. I will give you a ARFCOM discount. I just now have to figure out where to insert the speculum.

I've got a rusty ball-peen hammer lying around. Need an anesthesiologist? No overhead and I'll profit-share.

Posted: 8/28/2005 7:37:36 AM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Endometrial tissue? I can do a D and C for ya. I will give you a ARFCOM discount. I just now have to figure out where to insert the speculum.

I've got a rusty ball-peen hammer lying around. Need an anesthesiologist? No overhead and I'll profit-share.

Awesome, my hammer was getting worn. We can set up shop in the garage!

Posted: 8/28/2005 8:33:33 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:

Awesome, my hammer was getting worn. We can set up shop in the garage!

Deal! I finish residency on Wednesday, then we'll get started on the inevitable rush of clients to...

ARFCOM Same-Day Walk-in Doc-in-the-Box and Pie Emporium! (Pie not available in restricted states)

Posted: 8/28/2005 8:37:24 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
I've got this strange little bump on my face. It's not there all the time. Actually, it only appears maybe once a month. Once it does appear, it goes away in about 15 minutes. It's just a red bump. Doesn't hurt. Doesn't itch. WTF?

Stay away from a mirror?

Posted: 8/28/2005 9:09:16 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Awesome, my hammer was getting worn. We can set up shop in the garage!

Deal! I finish residency on Wednesday, then we'll get started on the inevitable rush of clients to...

ARFCOM Same-Day Walk-in Doc-in-the-Box and Pie Emporium! (Pie not available in restricted states)

the bitching we will get.

Posted: 8/28/2005 9:23:56 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Ectopic endometrial tissue

Endometrial tissue? I can do a D and C for ya. I will give you a ARFCOM discount. I just now have to figure out where to insert the speculum.

Doc...YOU are one SICK bastard!!!

Use caution. It's reported that the bastage uses an over-sized METAL speculum that he keeps icy cold in the frige. You can usually locate his office by listening for the blood curdling screams coming from it.

Posted: 8/28/2005 11:20:22 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Ectopic endometrial tissue

Endometrial tissue? I can do a D and C for ya. I will give you a ARFCOM discount. I just now have to figure out where to insert the speculum.

Doc...YOU are one SICK bastard!!!

Use caution. It's reported that the bastage uses an over-sized METAL speculum that he keeps icy cold in the frige. You can usually locate his office by listening for the blood curdling screams coming from it.

The funny part is that my ARFCOM fantasy football team name is the FROZEN SPECULUMS!

Posted: 8/28/2005 11:23:03 AM EDT

[#30]

It ain't an Anal Fissure, its it?

Posted: 8/28/2005 11:26:49 AM EDT

[#31]

I used to frequent science fiction conventions. They usually have some form of costume contest.

My character was going to be "Doctor Will C. Yunowe, Gynecologist"

I was going to wear a white lab coat, with only heart-printed boxers on underneath; one of the old "Marcus Welby" type reflector headbands; big black (concrete / chemical worker's) gloves; and a bovine /equine speculum (18")

in a 5 gallon bucket filled with dry ice with "Chilling Jar" emblazoned on it.

Half of the women I asked about this said they'd stand up, cheer, and shout "THAT'S MY DOC!"

The other half said I'd never make it off the stage alive.

Posted: 8/28/2005 11:34:55 AM EDT

[#32]

It's probably an undeveloped twin.

Posted: 8/28/2005 11:47:27 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
It ain't an Anal Fissure, its it?

Well if you didn't have one before you will have one after Dr. Frozen "ARDOC" Speculum, MD, FACS, EIEIO, YOWSA, gets done "examining" you.

Posted: 8/28/2005 11:53:58 AM EDT

[#34]

nuke it from orbit--its the only way to be sure....

Posted: 8/28/2005 11:57:00 AM EDT

[#35]

Posted: 8/28/2005 11:58:41 AM EDT

[#36]

You have a Face Weenie.

The occasional bump is when it gets an erection.

CJ

Posted: 8/28/2005 12:08:20 PM EDT

[#37]

I can't believe no one on this board recognizes the first signs of transformation into a Zombie.

Posted: 8/28/2005 12:10:36 PM EDT

[#38]

Lupus or a pecker bite. Could be lupus.

Posted: 8/28/2005 12:20:13 PM EDT

[#39]

ARDOC's last walk-in patient. It's not clear whether this was prior to or after surgery. In case you're curious he dresses all his patients in nurses outfits.

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