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Posted: 8/4/2011 11:57:38 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 12:00:42 PM EST by EdAvilaSr]
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 12:34:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 12:34:45 PM EST by elcope]
Very well done sir.

Kingpin38506, ZenJen & FLAL1A have started threads offering their support of our community with numerous members offering generalized or specific support.

Link to threads.



Link Posted: 8/4/2011 12:34:24 PM EST
Ed,

Thanks for this.  Hopefully people that need help will reach out.  
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 12:41:20 PM EST
ED Sr I applaud what you are doing and again must reiterate what a great site this is.

Thanks for your efforts in this area and for everything you and this site does!

Any help I can do Id be glad to do it. I have no "prevention skills" but believe I have a good ability to listen and lend support when needed.

Also I'm willing to check in on any Arfcom Brothers in my area if that is ever needed.

Ghost

Link Posted: 8/4/2011 12:47:52 PM EST
Thanks Ed!  It really speaks of you to make yourself and your resources available to us.  I am proud to be a member of this site, and anything I can do to help my fellow brothers/sisters I'm willing.

Were on this big rock together, and the least we can do is help each other when needed.

Link Posted: 8/4/2011 1:24:35 PM EST
Thank you sir, for everything.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 1:40:49 PM EST
My heart is swelling up with a mixture of pride & sadness and it's getting a bit dusty in here.  
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 1:52:18 PM EST
Never Shall I Fail My Comrades

Not just words but a way of life.  

Ed Sr.  I'm IM-ing you my contact info.  If someone's in my AO that needs help, let me know.  

Link Posted: 8/4/2011 2:32:38 PM EST
Albeit a fairly recent member here, this makes me proud to be part of the arfcom community.



Link Posted: 8/4/2011 3:02:12 PM EST
I sent an IM and posted a response in Kingpin's thread offering my help with sleep-related and PTSD issues.

Out-reach is tough, but getting the word out is a great start.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 3:24:13 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 3:55:07 PM EST
This is an excellent outreach and could be quite helpful to someone who needs it at a dark time.  Bravo!
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 4:12:24 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 11:41:22 PM EST by 2506jet]
You are a good man Mr. Avila and all for caring and offering help through this great community of fellow firearms enthusiasts. IM sent with my contact info, please add me to the list, I am willing to help anyone on my area if needed anyway I can.

Thanks, Ron N.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 4:41:11 PM EST
as i said in the offer to help thread i am always willing to chat with someone, life is to important to waste is a method such as this.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 5:05:20 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 5:07:16 PM EST by Intelguy01]
Very, very cool. Way to go, Sir.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 5:08:39 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 5:11:14 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 5:15:13 PM EST by swingset]
I've mentioned a couple times in the recent threads about this, but I'll repeat it here hopefully someone reads it and takes it to heart.
Don't be mean or try tough love with someone who's possibly suicidal. This isn't the situation where being billy-badass is going to snap someone to and make them love life again.
Try to understand that a lot of what fuels suicidal thoughts and actions are self-loathing, a feeling that you're worthless or not worth saving. Lashing out at someone and telling them to "man up" or "stop being a pussy" (I've seen both of these in recent days) is not helpful. Someone who's hating themselves will turn that inward and feel even less worthwhile.
That kind of stuff makes YOU feel better, but it doesn't make THEM feel better. There isn't a suicide helpline on planet earth, guided by health professionals with 100 years of psychological practice and experience, that would suggest telling someone to stop being a pussy. They are not rational, they are not thinking clearly like you are, they are hurt and wanting to make the ultimate mistake, and don't need pushing.
What to say? Most people in the depths of depression or despair want desperately to know that they're not alone, that someone understands what they're going through and that it's not wrong to feel like that. And, they want to know that someone has an interest in them still being around, that someone who's been down there at the bottom understands and assures them that there are better days ahead and people who love them and want them to get better.
Reach out, offer kindness and a sympathetic ear. Suggest a helpline, or talking to a health professional, tell them it's not a sign of being broken just a good healthy tool to start getting back to feeling good again. Be a friend, even if it's to just some guy on ARFcom. Don't be abrasive, it's not helpful at all.





I am not a suicide counselor, but did addiction counseling and this was stuff we covered in how to deal with distraught or suicidal or self-destructive people. I'm sure others have more experience with this than me, who might chime in with more.



 
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 5:11:29 PM EST
Amen, thanks Ed.  
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 5:25:44 PM EST
If I may.. I would like to add something here. Last year my brother committed suicide

by shooting himself, so his wife said. But anyway at the funeral people told me that

he had been talking about it or hinting about it for a while. He was on some major

doses of antibiotics that had a side effect of causing depression and thoughts of

suicide. I had no idea of the things he was telling others. I feel certain I could have

prevented it if only someone had told me the things he had been saying.



My point is that if you hear someone talking of suicide, tell their family. If needed

get them locked up on baker act. It would be far better to have them pissed off, but

getting help than it would to lose them.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 5:29:08 PM EST



Originally Posted By swingset:


I've mentioned a couple times in the recent threads about this, but I'll repeat it here hopefully someone reads it and takes it to heart.



Don't be mean or try tough love with someone who's possibly suicidal. This isn't the situation where being billy-badass is going to snap someone to and make them love life again.



Try to understand that a lot of what fuels suicidal thoughts and actions are self-loathing, a feeling that you're worthless or not worth saving. Lashing out at someone and telling them to "man up" or "stop being a pussy" (I've seen both of these in recent days) is not helpful. Someone who's hating themselves will turn that inward and feel even less worthwhile.



That kind of stuff makes YOU feel better, but it doesn't make THEM feel better. There isn't a suicide helpline on planet earth, guided by health professionals with 100 years of psychological practice and experience, that would suggest telling someone to stop being a pussy. They are not rational, they are not thinking clearly like you are, they are hurt and wanting to make the ultimate mistake, and don't need pushing.



What to say? Most people in the depths of depression or despair want desperately to know that they're not alone, that someone understands what they're going through and that it's not wrong to feel like that. And, they want to know that someone has an interest in them still being around, that someone who's been down there at the bottom understands and assures them that there are better days ahead and people who love them and want them to get better.



Reach out, offer kindness and a sympathetic ear. Suggest a helpline, or talking to a health professional, tell them it's not a sign of being broken just a good healthy tool to start getting back to feeling good again. Be a friend, even if it's to just some guy on ARFcom. Don't be abrasive, it's not helpful at all.



I am not a suicide counselor, but did addiction counseling and this was stuff we covered in how to deal with distraught or suicidal or self-destructive people. I'm sure others have more experience with this than me, who might chime in with more.

 


I can attest that swingset speaks truth- having been on the receiving end of suicide counseling, what he is saying is the right thing to do

 
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 5:33:07 PM EST
Let's hope these words sink in and people take you up on your offer
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 6:18:46 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 6:23:04 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 6:28:32 PM EST
Sir,

You do not know me at all but I have appreciated your site as a lurker for many years.  Thanks so much for your compassion and caring about the members.  I salute you and  your mods!!!!!!  
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 6:32:21 PM EST
Originally Posted By swingset:
I've mentioned a couple times in the recent threads about this, but I'll repeat it here hopefully someone reads it and takes it to heart.

Don't be mean or try tough love with someone who's possibly suicidal. This isn't the situation where being billy-badass is going to snap someone to and make them love life again.

Try to understand that a lot of what fuels suicidal thoughts and actions are self-loathing, a feeling that you're worthless or not worth saving. Lashing out at someone and telling them to "man up" or "stop being a pussy" (I've seen both of these in recent days) is not helpful. Someone who's hating themselves will turn that inward and feel even less worthwhile.

That kind of stuff makes YOU feel better, but it doesn't make THEM feel better. There isn't a suicide helpline on planet earth, guided by health professionals with 100 years of psychological practice and experience, that would suggest telling someone to stop being a pussy. They are not rational, they are not thinking clearly like you are, they are hurt and wanting to make the ultimate mistake, and don't need pushing.

What to say? Most people in the depths of depression or despair want desperately to know that they're not alone, that someone understands what they're going through and that it's not wrong to feel like that. And, they want to know that someone has an interest in them still being around, that someone who's been down there at the bottom understands and assures them that there are better days ahead and people who love them and want them to get better.

Reach out, offer kindness and a sympathetic ear. Suggest a helpline, or talking to a health professional, tell them it's not a sign of being broken just a good healthy tool to start getting back to feeling good again. Be a friend, even if it's to just some guy on ARFcom. Don't be abrasive, it's not helpful at all.

I am not a suicide counselor, but did addiction counseling and this was stuff we covered in how to deal with distraught or suicidal or self-destructive people. I'm sure others have more experience with this than me, who might chime in with more.
 


God bless you and anyone who listens to your sage advice.

Link Posted: 8/4/2011 6:34:08 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 6:35:48 PM EST by FridgeBrilliance]
SWINGSET SPEAKS THE TRUTH.

Those of us who have been down that road have already told ourselves time and time again to man up, stop being a pussy, dont be a dick to your family, etc. We have had this conversation with ourselves many times and frankly, when you are really ready to do it, none of that shit matters. We need to hear that we ARE men, that we ARE NOT pussies, that our families DO INDEED love us, that WE DO MATTER, and that IT IS NEVER AS BAD AS IT MAY SEEM.

Looks like I am going to have to pony up for a team membership as soon as I can spare the cash, after reading this thread.

ETA: Grammar. I pounded this one out a little too fast.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 6:50:03 PM EST
I don't post much here, and I'm not a "prominent" member of this board, but as someone who went through a near suicide, due to some meds, I'd be willing to help out people in AZ, if I could. I'm the child of a prominent psychologist, and have a basic understanding of compassion, and can always turn to mom for help when needed.

If you want, IM me , and I'll gladly give all my contact info to site staff.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 6:51:43 PM EST
It's important to remember that it's ok to go ahead and call 911 or someone's family if you're trying to help and it doesn't seem to be working. No one expects you to be able to singlehandedly talk someone out of suicide and into a shrink's office when they are very determined. They'll lie and say they're fine now, you've been a big help, but if you believe that's a lie to get you out the door, you may need reinforcements.

Link Posted: 8/4/2011 7:10:07 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 7:10:29 PM EST by JosieWales]
Great Idea.

Thanks Mr Avila!!
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 7:18:50 PM EST
I almost took that road a few short months ago. I had it planned out. Not sure what stopped me. But now I'm a happy clam.

I'll send my contact info. My work schedule is pretty random but I can lend a hand if there is anyone near by.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 7:35:26 PM EST
Does this mean said person won't risk losing their firearms rights for life after being identified as a suicide risk (as they are here in IL)?
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 7:43:47 PM EST



Originally Posted By ModelCitizen:


Does this mean said person won't risk losing their firearms rights for life after being identified as a suicide risk (as they are here in IL)?


Depends on if they are deemed mentally defective. That is much better than

losing a loved one even if they are.



 
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 7:48:00 PM EST
Thank you Ed!
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 7:56:31 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 8:42:23 PM EST by Iowaredneck]
Several years back a friend from work took his own life. Attending his funeral seeing the heart break on his wifes face hearing his 2 children weep as they tried to read a few words to a packed church was almost more than I could stand. No matter how much pain you think your in its nothing compared to what your family and friends would go through.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 8:17:01 PM EST


Thanks for starting this thread. I've been on the phone with a friend who was suicidal––––and then called 911  when he abruptly hung up. I've never been in that hole myself, but I have talked with some who were. Having a friend is a huge difference.



I don't know how much help I could be (who wants to tell their problems to a dumbass 19 year old?)
but I like this idea a lot. If there's anything at all I could do, I
would appreciate it if somebody would  let me know. I'm in
northern/central NJ.



Link Posted: 8/4/2011 8:28:20 PM EST
This makes proud of ARF
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 8:42:56 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/5/2011 1:16:28 AM EST by vermont2nd]
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 8:50:39 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 8:52:42 PM EST by Super_Duty_John]
You continue to give Mr. Avila, I'm proud to be a paying member here at this site.

I lost my youngest brother to suicide back in 2002, it means a lot here.

John


edit to correct a spelling mistake and add something..
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 9:22:42 PM EST
Great idea.

IM sent to EdSr.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 9:24:15 PM EST
Ed, you are a high quality human being.  
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 9:33:10 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/4/2011 9:39:19 PM EST by EvanWilliams]
EdSr. is an example of old school docs being class acts.





ARFCOM is sometimes the worst of the internet but usually the very best.


There is no other place like this.




ETA:



I'll go ahead and say it. One of my earliest memories as a child (4 years old) was me and two brothers in a bed at my grandparents house. It was about 4 am and I heard a loud blast. My uncle (VN vet, USAF) came inside trailing blood from his face.

Eventually as he was sitting in a chair drenched in blood and blood pooling all about him they called me in. He asked for me as he felt he was dying and wanted to say good bye. I hugged him on the right side of his face. His left side was hanging off (16 gauge shotgun).  

He didn't die as my grandfather got pressure on it.  Alcohol was the biggest contributing factor. Were he not drinking he never would have done it. So, like EdSr says. If you are down and out. DON'T DRINK!!!



 
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 9:37:23 PM EST
This is not a pretentious offer: if you're within the southern Nevada, southern California, or anywhere in the state of Arizona you can contact me. I'm a busy person but I know what a lifeline just talking to someone is. Just IM me your number and I'll call you or you can call me. A few AZHTF guys already have my phone number.

"Depression" as caused by events are just temporary. Once the event ceases to carry the sadness it brings, things get better. It just takes time. What I consider true Depression - the kind that socks you out of nowhere with no trigger points - is a much bigger burden. I know of it and it knows me well. Everyone goes through the former, very few suffer from the latter. In either event my line is open. I'm willing to drive 5 hours in any direction if needed.

I was going to say give me a chance to talk but then I thought better of it. Instead, give yourself a chance to live.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 9:46:00 PM EST
Times are tough and it is taking a toll on many people.

Thank you.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 9:48:29 PM EST
This is one of the reasons why I like this site.



People actually care.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 10:01:46 PM EST
There are still good people in this world! Count me in from SE Texas.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 10:25:00 PM EST
Originally Posted By swingset:
I've mentioned a couple times in the recent threads about this, but I'll repeat it here hopefully someone reads it and takes it to heart.

Don't be mean or try tough love with someone who's possibly suicidal. This isn't the situation where being billy-badass is going to snap someone to and make them love life again.

Try to understand that a lot of what fuels suicidal thoughts and actions are self-loathing, a feeling that you're worthless or not worth saving. Lashing out at someone and telling them to "man up" or "stop being a pussy" (I've seen both of these in recent days) is not helpful. Someone who's hating themselves will turn that inward and feel even less worthwhile.

That kind of stuff makes YOU feel better, but it doesn't make THEM feel better. There isn't a suicide helpline on planet earth, guided by health professionals with 100 years of psychological practice and experience, that would suggest telling someone to stop being a pussy. They are not rational, they are not thinking clearly like you are, they are hurt and wanting to make the ultimate mistake, and don't need pushing.

What to say? Most people in the depths of depression or despair want desperately to know that they're not alone, that someone understands what they're going through and that it's not wrong to feel like that. And, they want to know that someone has an interest in them still being around, that someone who's been down there at the bottom understands and assures them that there are better days ahead and people who love them and want them to get better.

Reach out, offer kindness and a sympathetic ear. Suggest a helpline, or talking to a health professional, tell them it's not a sign of being broken just a good healthy tool to start getting back to feeling good again. Be a friend, even if it's to just some guy on ARFcom. Don't be abrasive, it's not helpful at all.

I am not a suicide counselor, but did addiction counseling and this was stuff we covered in how to deal with distraught or suicidal or self-destructive people. I'm sure others have more experience with this than me, who might chime in with more.
 


qft.

i have experience with this since i was the last person to speak with a family member who was very special to me that an hour and half later after speaking with him, decided to end it all. his death was tragic and needless and then having to tell his mother was the tip of the iceberg.

i would like to recommend there be a special forum or something for when someone that posts anything indicating this action to be moved to along with THOSE THAT ARE TRULY WILLING TO HELP, in an isolated area where the clowns of gd that like to post the "man up, stop being a pussy" can't access.



Link Posted: 8/4/2011 10:33:01 PM EST
BTW, I'm in for my HTF.



This thread got me thinking of my friend. It will be two years this month.



http://www.ar15.com/archive/topic.html?b=1&f=75&t=915947
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 10:43:46 PM EST
Originally Posted By xwarp:
Originally Posted By swingset:
I've mentioned a couple times in the recent threads about this, but I'll repeat it here hopefully someone reads it and takes it to heart.

Don't be mean or try tough love with someone who's possibly suicidal. This isn't the situation where being billy-badass is going to snap someone to and make them love life again.

Try to understand that a lot of what fuels suicidal thoughts and actions are self-loathing, a feeling that you're worthless or not worth saving. Lashing out at someone and telling them to "man up" or "stop being a pussy" (I've seen both of these in recent days) is not helpful. Someone who's hating themselves will turn that inward and feel even less worthwhile.

That kind of stuff makes YOU feel better, but it doesn't make THEM feel better. There isn't a suicide helpline on planet earth, guided by health professionals with 100 years of psychological practice and experience, that would suggest telling someone to stop being a pussy. They are not rational, they are not thinking clearly like you are, they are hurt and wanting to make the ultimate mistake, and don't need pushing.

What to say? Most people in the depths of depression or despair want desperately to know that they're not alone, that someone understands what they're going through and that it's not wrong to feel like that. And, they want to know that someone has an interest in them still being around, that someone who's been down there at the bottom understands and assures them that there are better days ahead and people who love them and want them to get better.

Reach out, offer kindness and a sympathetic ear. Suggest a helpline, or talking to a health professional, tell them it's not a sign of being broken just a good healthy tool to start getting back to feeling good again. Be a friend, even if it's to just some guy on ARFcom. Don't be abrasive, it's not helpful at all.

I am not a suicide counselor, but did addiction counseling and this was stuff we covered in how to deal with distraught or suicidal or self-destructive people. I'm sure others have more experience with this than me, who might chime in with more.
 


qft.

i have experience with this since i was the last person to speak with a family member who was very special to me that an hour and half later after speaking with him, decided to end it all. his death was tragic and needless and then having to tell his mother was the tip of the iceberg.

i would like to recommend there be a special forum or something for when someone that posts anything indicating this action to be moved to along with THOSE THAT ARE TRULY WILLING TO HELP, in an isolated area where the clowns of gd that like to post the "man up, stop being a pussy" can't access.





Considering how much mental illness and interpersonal issues we have around here, a mental health and coping forum might not be a bad idea. Somewhere like the religious forum, or the women's area where you have to behave extra nicely.
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 10:49:20 PM EST
If you need help in Ga. or East Al. shoot me a pm.   I had guy in my unit in the Army kill himself.  E-6 got busted for bog drugs looking at hard time.       I also had my best friend from the Army kill himself when his romance failed . It ruined his dad for the rest of his life  Keith Junk has been dead for over 20 years . He is buried in Pensacola . where he was from.  Even if you are not an expert at least try . If you do nothing you will regret it later .
Link Posted: 8/4/2011 11:33:18 PM EST
Originally Posted By LIINTLICKR:
Albeit a fairly recent member here, this makes me proud to be part of the arfcom community.



Link Posted: 8/5/2011 2:26:15 AM EST
Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Lot's of good people here. Always a shoulder to lean on when needed.



TRG prefers you lean on or grab both of his.
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