Posted: 5/10/2026 4:07:11 PM EDT
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Feemaker II has come and gone much more quickly than I anticipated. Thank you to everyone who made it possible, from my co-host PaddlinFoolWV, to the staff and various other individuals who volunteered to help make things happen along the way. Obviously, I should thank the Big Chungus Slop Wagon for preparing lots of good food. Beyond that, there are enough of you that I can't name everyone accurately, so I'm hoping you know who you are already. We had pretty good weather for the event - overnights got into the 40's or 50's and daytime warmed into the 60's. Sure, we had a bit of rain during setup Wednesday afternoon and evening, and some light showers Friday night and Saturday morning, but not enough that it became miserable. Everyone that I talked to told me they had a great time. If I didn't talk to you, you didn't have a good time, or you have some thought to share, please reach out to me with suggestions on how to make the event next year even better. I was initially skeptical when WhiskersTheCat outlined his desire for a small, intimate event but I was quite happy with how it turned out, particularly the Friday night fire ring hangout. 1 Woodframe 0:30:41 2 Thew 0:34:54 * 3 dlm1984 0:43:40 4 YomKippur 0:46:02 5 DerekL 0:57:38 (noob) 6 Eagle_Rare 1:02:17 7 SpiritZeroThree 1:04:33 8 WeaponsFree 1:08:00 9 FookYourself 1:08:33 10 Violent_Pickle 1:13:33 11 Nutnah 1:17:47 12 NotCaliforniaLegal 1:18:26 13 Underarmor 1:19:15 (noob) 14 GlizzyGoblin 1:21:32 (noob) 15 Scolex 1:24:19 16 Seabass 1:26:40 (noob) 17 SmolPP 1:33:04 18 TwinFrost 1:36:59 19 Coors 1:38:51 (noob) 20 LoneWolf 1:49:28 21 BayRunner83 2:11:48 22 ThePossum 2:27:36 23 101_Jr 2:55:13 24 Eagle_Jr 3:00:02 (red = combat) Obstacles were the following: 1) short handstand walk (like Classic) 79.2% pass rate 2) 24' balance beam with 7 gallon jug 83.3% pass rate 3) short conex shimmy (ala Classic) 45.8% pass rate 4) fire extinguisher slalom 91.7% pass rate 5) money bag over/under 95.8% pass rate Overall, that meant that 41.7% managed to complete all obstacles. Peeps and AK 95.8% pass rate. I handed out my first uneaten peeps penalty for this one, and some people seemed to absolutely love the quality of the finest of Chinese shotgun that I could procure.  The run consisted of a trip down to the Frontier range sign with the weighted money bag from obstacle 5 and a colored rock. Exchange the rock for a different one and return the bag to the obstacle start point. Then head down the side of the hill, resetting your pistol targets as you go. Continue until you hit the road that we used for the run last year and follow that to the nearest driveway up to the pavilion. Here's the rough track from my planning walk on Wednesday: Attached File All of the shooting occurred from the top of the hill near the pavilion. All rifle shots were from a large tank trap that allowed decent positions for both sides of the range. The right side was almost standard Cola fare - two impacts on everything - starting with a large round target at 236 yards with a 95.8% completion rate. Next was a reduced size IPSC at 330 yards, with a 95.8% completion rate, followed by a fullsize IPSC at 390 yard, with a 95.8% completion rate for the first impact and 87.5% on the second. From there, they engaged a coyote with two imparcts at 426 yards in front of an infamous car - this is where people started burning more ammo since the elevation call was pretty tight - and 87.5% completed these shots. Moving just a bit further right was what I believe to be a 1/3 scale IPSC, and 87.5% managed to make two impacts on the target. Overall, 83.3% of people cleared this portion of the range. The left side of the range started to push people's limits, so I only required a single impact on each of the targets. This started with a 1/3 scale IPSC at 354 yards (79.2% success) and the pig from last year at 520 yards (75.0% completion). Then we moved to a vertical scar that contained a decent size round at 590 yards (54.2% hit) and 635 yards (just 29.2% succeeded). People often ran out of ammo on these targets, but the wind was a major factor for many shooters thoughout the event. The completion percentage fell off substantially to just 20.8%, resulting in also just 20.8% of shooters completing both portions. From there, meme-master WhiskerstheCat provided a Barrett M107 with three rounds on a shooting table. The shooter was supposed to engage a 12x12" square at 375 yards, but just 37.5% of competitors managed to connect. Honorable mention to WeaponsFree for managing two impacts, and a dishonorable mention to myself for forgetting the proper hold. Competitors then moved to a pistol shooting box where they engaged a combination of three right hand only shots and three left hand only shots. This was made a bit more difficult by holding a 6 gallon water jug in the opposite hand. There were 5 more targets that could be engaged freestyle ranging from about 15 to 50 yards. The right handed targets (from near to far) were completed at 95.8%, 95.8% and 79.2%. The left handed targets had lower percentages at 87.5%, 79.2%, and 54.2%. The freestyle targets came in at 100.0%, 95.8%, 87.5%, 83.3% and 70.8%. Overall, just 45.8% of competitors managed to clean the pistol range. Obviously, the last challenge was the chug. Can completion rates were 95.8%, 87.5%, 75.0%, 70.8%, 70.8%, and 50.0% for a total clean rate of 37.5%. Looking at the bigger picture: 16.7% of shooters (4) managed to clear the range with their weapons. Since I missed the 50 cal target, that meant that only 12.5% (3 people) cleared all shooting elements, and 8.3% (2) had clean runs after I decided to be merciful and allow a competitor to take the 50 for a walk for a chance to redeem their performance with a different stage gun while we were obtaining more ammunition for the 50. I saw quite a few weapons malfunctions throughout the weekend - some were more mechanical (like a dirty rifle, or my stuck case) while many others seemed to be related to technique or inadequate testing. Take some time to get to area matches and "get good" or something!  Please share your photos, videos and other thoughts in this thread! |
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Quoted: Just wanted to thank everyone for making this Noobs first cola warrior a memorable one. Good food, good people, good braps. Any chance you can highlight the other noobs on the standing list? Just curious to see how I stacked up. Sure - I think I got everyone notated. |
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Thanks to everyone who put this on, I was so moved by the events I wrote a song to memorialize it. "Come and listen to a story about a man named B A mountaineer, reticle on a Barrett he could barely see, And then one day he was Shootin’ an accord for the lulz, he clips an oil line and up through the hood come a bubblin crude. oil that is, hot flames, twisted tea. Well the first thing you know ol Bs movin quick, Whiskers said "B lets go down there" Said "first berm is the place we ought to be" So they loaded up the truck and rushed to the berm at four two six. Hills, that is dry. Hot car. Water bottles, two fire extinguishers. Well now its time to see what managements gonna say to B and all his kin. And they would like to thank you for helpin’ remove the danger And folks fer kindly jumpin’ in. You're all invited back next year to this locality (thank god) To have a heapin’ helpin’ of Chungus’ hospitality Feemaker that is. Have a braaaap ,more shovels next time. Y'all don't miss now, y'hear?." |
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Quoted: Thanks to everyone who put this on, I was so moved by the events I wrote a song to memorialize it. "Come and listen to a story about a man named B A mountaineer, reticle on a Barrett he could barely see, And then one day he was Shootin' an accord for the lulz, he clips an oil line and up through the hood come a bubblin crude. oil that is, hot flames, twisted tea. Well the first thing you know ol Bs movin quick, Whiskers said "B lets go down there" Said "first berm is the place we ought to be" So they loaded up the truck and rushed to the berm at four two six. Hills, that is dry. Hot car. Water bottles, two fire extinguishers. Well now its time to see what managements gonna say to B and all his kin. And they would like to thank you for helpin' remove the danger And folks fer kindly jumpin' in. You're all invited back next year to this locality (thank god) To have a heapin' helpin' of Chungus' hospitality Feemaker that is. Have a braaaap ,more shovels next time. Y'all don't miss now, y'hear?." 
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Here's the group pic: Attached File Also a few lost and found items - mostly from the target reset portion of the run: Attached File This chair was "donated" to the range: Attached File And here is Spirit with a unique approach to the balance beam: Attached File Friday night fire with a dirty lense: Attached File |
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