The French

Mark

It's awful to stereotype a whole Nation.
But it can be good fun. I could post French jokes all day.

Frogs legs...what's that all about?????
Not much meat on a frog. If ya gonna cook summat make it worthwhile.
Let's not even mention snails...what a waste of a perfectly good sauce by using it to cover grissle

Taffy

Vive le Welsh

(CSE French...Grade3)

"In California, a speech teacher is in a lot of trouble for encouraging her students to oppose the war with Iraq. The principal was furious and said telling kids to oppose the war is the French teacher's job." --

You are the President of the United States. Scientists have discovered a meteor that is headed towards the earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at approximately 2:30 A.M. The meteor is large enough to completely wipe France from the face of the earth forever.

France and the United Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could be sending are many that are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As President, you must decide:

Do you: -

A) Stay up late on the night of the impact to watch the coverage live?

or do you: -

B) Tape it and watch it in the morning

Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish" says the genie.

The Welshman says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Wales."

With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in Wales was forever made fertile for farming.

The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country. Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye,'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.

The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."

Somebody Stop Me.....

WHY?

SRM

This is a great thread

Quoted: Holy Shit!!!! It's a Phrench Pooper-Scooter! They call them moto-crottes… liiterally motor-turds tinypic.com/ehnnsm.jpg tinypic.com/ehnntf.jpg Ya gotta love the Phrench! ANdy

I have seen it all now!!!!!

Quoted: Heroic Phrench forces capture a turd… tinypic.com/ehxbt1.jpg

Yeah, but not without a fight

Mark

The train was quite crowded, so the U. S Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! - Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road, and now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window!"

A man was alone, fishing on a lake.  As God watched, he thought he would try an experiment.

“I wonder what would happen if I removed the right side of his brain?”  POOF and the man starts counting, “one, three, five, seven…”

“Well now, that is very curious.  I wonder what would happen if I replaced the right side and removed the left?”  POOF and the man began counting, “two, four, six, eight…”

“Very strange indeed.  I wonder what would happen if I removed his entire brain?”

POOF “un, deux, trois, quatre”

SRM

Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training.
After the first day they met up in the bar.
"Ah, Pierre," asks one, " 'ow 'av you been doing?"

"Merde!" answers Pierre. "I 'av 'ad a mos' terrible day. Terrible! At
seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E dragged me
out of bed and on to ze parade ground."

"And zen what 'appened?" inquires his mate.

"I weel tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis silly leetle
platform five feet off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!"."

"'And did you jump?" asks his mate.

"I did not. I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper. I do not jump five
feet. It is beneass my dignity."

"And zen what 'appened?" asks his mate.

"Zen 'e made me climb up zis silly leetle platform ten feet off ze
ground, and 'e said "Jump!"."

"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.

"I did not. I told 'im - "I am a French paratrooper. It is beneass my
dignity to jump ten feet."

"What 'appened zen?" asks his mate.

"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform a 'undred feet above ze
parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous willy, and
'e said: "If you do not jurmp, I am going to stick zis right urp your
burm."."

"Ooooh!" says his mate. "And did you jurmp?"


"A leetle, at ze beginning."