M14/M1A: Clunky, heavy, and overpowered. Essentially a Garand tarted up
with a removable magazine, in a half-baked attempt to adapt a 19th
century rifle design philosophy to the mid-20th century. Most often
named as favorite infantry rifle by people who never had to hump a
10-pound wood-stocked rifle with lots of sharp protrusions and no
collapsible anything on a three day exercise, or try to make it through a
firefight with the standard battle load of five 20-round magazines.



AK-47:
Crude and inaccurate bullet thrower designed by and for illiterate
peasants. Chambered in a caliber that manages to cut the ballistics of a
proper .30-caliber battle rifle in half without passing on any weight
savings to the grunt. Ergonomics only suitable for Russian midgets.
Archaic cable trigger spring, crummy sights, no sight radius to speak
of, no bolt hold-open device, and a clumsy safety. Favorite infantry
rifle of Middle Eastern goat herders, guys named Abdullah, and backwoods
militia types who like the fact that it shoots cheap ammo and has
ballistics like their familiar .30-30.



H&K G-3/HK-91:
Ergonomics of a railroad tie. No bolt release, and a locking system that
requires three men and a mule to work the cocking handle. Fluted
chamber that mauls brass, and violent bolt motion that dings the brass
that didn't get mauled too badly by the chamber. Stamped sheet metal
construction, yet just as heavy as a milled steel M14. Safety lever that
requires unnaturally long thumbs, and a trigger pull that feels like
dragging a piano across a gravel road with your index finger. Favorite
infantry rifle of Cold War nostalgics and third world commandos.



M-16/AR-15:
Underpowered varmint rifle burdened by a crummy magazine design. Nasty
direct-impingement gas system that poops where it eats. High sight line,
flimsy alloy-and-plastic construction. Generally favored by range
commandos, tactical disciples, military vets who have never fired
anything else for comparison, and Brownells addicts who a.) enjoy
spending three times the cost on the rifle on bolt-on accouterments, and
b.) never have to use their rifle away from a dry, sunny range.



G-36:
Flimsy plastic rifle with non-user adjustable fair-weather optics that
fog up when a gnat breaks wind in front of them. Magazines that take up
twice as much pouch space than others in the same caliber because of the
"clever" coupling nubs on the magazine housing. Skeleton folding stock
that is about as suitable for butt-stroking as a plastic mess spork.
Twice as expensive as other rifles in its class because of the "HK" logo
on the receiver. Preferred infantry rifle of SWAT cops, and soldiers
whose militaries haven't been in shooting conflicts since the 1940s.



Glock:
Butt-ugly plastic shooting appliance with the ergonomics of a caulking
gun. Five-pound trigger with no external safety makes it ill-suited for
its target market (cops who shoot a hundred rounds a year for
qualification). Favored by gangbangers because the product name is short
and rhymes with other short, rap-friendly words.



Beretta 92F/M9:
Clunky and overweight rip-off of a clunky and overweight German design
from the 1930s. Shear-happy locking block, ergonomics that are only
suited for linebackers, barely adequate sights that are partially
non-replaceable, and low capacity for its size. Favored by Eighties
action movie fanatics and John Woo freaks.



1911: Overweight and
overly complex piece of late 19th century technology. Low capacity,
useless sights in stock form, and a field-stripping procedure that
requires three hands. Favored by people who are at the cutting edge of
handgun technology and combat shooting...of the 1960s.



H&K
P7: Wildly overpriced, heavy for its size, low capacity in most
iterations, and blessed with a finish that rusts if you give the gun a
moist glance. Gas tube has a tendency to roast the trigger finger after a
box or two of ammo at the range. Favored by gun snobs who think that
paying twice as much for half the rounds means four times the fighting
skill.



SIG Sauer: Top-heavy bricks with the rust resistance of an
untreated iron nail at the bottom of a bucket of saltwater.
Ergonomically sound, if you have size XXL mitts. Some minor parts made
in Germany, so the manufacturer can charge 75% Teutonic Gnome Magic
premium. Favored by Jack Bauer fans and wannabe Sky Marshals/Secret
Service agents.



S&W Revolvers: Archaic hand weapons from a
bygone era, the missing link between flintlocks and autoloaders. Low
capacity, and reloading requires a lunch break. Heavy for their
capacity, unless you're talking about airweight snubbies, which hurt as
much on the giving end as they do on the receiving end. Rare stoppages,
but few malfunctions that don't require gunsmith services, which are
hard to come by in a gunfight. Favored by crusty old farts who just now
got around to trusting newfangled smokeless powder, and Dirty Harry fans
with unrealistic ideas about the power of Magnum rounds vs. engine
blocks.



SMLE/Enfield: Refinement of a 19th century blackpowder
design. Weapon of choice for militaries who either couldn't afford
Mausers, or had ideological hangups about Kraut rifles. Rimlock-prone
cartridge that only barely classifies as a battle rifle round because of
blackpowder derivation and insufficient lock strength of the platform.
Favored by Canadians with WWII nostalgia, and people who think that
semi-auto rifles are a passing fad.



Browning HP: Fragile frame
designed around a popgun round. Near-useless safety in stock form that's
only suitable for the thumbs of elementary schoolers. Strangest and
most circuitous way to trip a sear ever put into a handgun. Favored by
wannabe SAS commandos, wannabe mercenaries, and Anglophiles who think
that hammer-down, chamber-empty carry is the most appropriate way to
carry a defensive sidearm.



Benelli shotguns: Plastic boutique
scatterguns made by people with the martial acumen of dairy cows.
Hideously expensive, and therefore popular with police agencies that get
their equipment financed by tax dollars.



FN FAL: Long and
lightweight receiver that's impossible to scope properly. Overpowered
round, twenty-round magazines that run dry in a blink, and an overall
weapon length that's only suitable for Napoleonic line infantry, but
utterly useless for airborne and armored infantry. Made by Belgians, a
nation with a military history that is limited to waving German
divisions through at the border. Favored by Falklands veterans,
Commonwealth fanboys, and people who think that dial-a-recoil gas
systems are the epitome of infantry technology.



9mm Luger:
European popgun round that's only popular because the ammo is cheap for a
centerfire cartridge. Cheap ammo is a good thing for 9mm aficionados,
because anything bigger and more dangerous than a cranky raccoon will
likely require multiple well-placed hits. Wildly popular all over the
world, mostly in countries where people don't carry guns, and cops don't
have to actually shoot people with theirs.



.45ACP: Chunky
low-pressure cartridge that hogs magazine space and requires a
low-capacity design (if the gun needs to fit human hands) or a grip with
the circumference of a two-liter soda bottle (if the gun needs to hold
more than seven rounds). Disturbingly prone to bullet setback, expensive
to reload, fits only into big and clunky guns, and a recoil that has an
inversely proportionate relationship with muzzle energy.



.40S&W:
Neutered compromise version of a compromise cartridge. Even more
setback-happy than the .45ACP, and setbacks are much more dangerous
because of higher pressure and smaller case volume. Manages to sacrifice
both the capacity of the 9mm and the bullet diameter of the .45. Twice
the recoil of the 9mm for 10% more muzzle energy.



.357SIG: Highly
overpriced boutique round that does the .40S&W one worse: it
manages to share the capacity penalty of the .40 while retaining the
small bullet diameter of the 9mm. Noisy, sharp recoil, and 100% cost
penalty for ballistics that can be matched by a good 9mm +P+ load.
Penetrates like the dickens, which means that the Air Marshals just had
to adopt it...only to load their guns with frangible bullets to make
sure they don't penetrate like the dickens.



.38 Special: Legacy
design with a case length that's 75% longer than necessary for the
mediocre ballistics of the round due to its blackpowder heritage. On the
plus side, the case length makes it easy to handle when reloading the
gun. This is a good thing because anyone using their .38 in self-defense
against a 250-pound attacker hopped up on crack will need to empty the
gun multiple times.



.44 Magnum: Overpowered round that generates
manageable recoil and muzzle blast...if you're a 300-pound linebacker
with wrists like steel girders. Often loaded to "Lite" levels that turn
it into a noisy .44 Special while retaining the ego-preserving Magnum
headstamp. Considered the "most powerful handgun cartridge in the world"
by people whose gun knowledge is either stuck in 1960, or who get their
expertise in ballistics from Dirty Harry movies.



10mm Auto:
Super-high pressure cartridge that beats up gun and shooter alike. Very
brisk recoil in anything other than all-steel S&W boat anchors, with
a shot recovery that's measured in geological epochs for most handgun
platforms. Often underloaded to wimpy levels (see ".40 S&W"), which
then gives it 9mm ballistics while requiring .45ACP magazine real
estate.



.357 Magnum: Lots of recoil, muzzle blast, and noise to
drive a 9mm bullet to reckless speeds in an attempt to make up for its
low mass and diameter. Explosive fragmentation and insufficient
penetration with light bullets; excessive penetration and insufficient
expansion with heavy ones. Still makes only 9mm holes in the target.

Quoted:


How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there

Quoted:


11/10!

Where did you find this?



ETA: He/she forgot MSARs or any other bullpups. I wonder what the author does like. The rant is funny enough that I'd buy them a beer just to discuss it and hear more.

Quoted:
How about M&P handguns....after all, I saw "Glock" on there

Quoted:


M&P or XD pistols, the gun that BadkarmaIII jizzes his pants over on a monthly basis. Ergonomics that try to keep everyone happy and yet no one is happy. Pick one, if you wanted a Glock you would have gotten a Glock. If you wanted a 1911, you would have gotten a 1911. Spare parts, seriously manufacturer... do you think your gun infallible? How about magazines. The point of a Glock is the high capacity 33 round magazines yet Springfield and S&W failed to deliver on that and decided to compromise here as well.
 

Quoted:







I felt the KB! from here.

Quoted:







Well-done, sir!

Quoted:
http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo94/1manoperation/1.jpg

http://i365.photobucket.com/albums/oo94/1manoperation/DSC00587.jpg

Quoted:


You can see it coming from outer space.

Quoted:


Combine yours and mine and its the perfect M&P hate.
 

Quoted:







Yeah, but I'm special because I made the first "weakness" on your list. Note to NMWTF: If I'm enthusiastic about a product, steer clear!

Quoted:


whatever...M&Ps suck ass and Glocks rock!  When will you admit that? Besides...my Glock looks cool and makes me feel all Gangsta !!



*poke*poke*....stir the pot....hehehe....this is too easy

Quoted:







I like how you and your Glocks felt singled out.



I expect the hurt feelings report to be completely filled out, signed by you, and on my desk by 8 am. Should give you plenty of time to let it dry out from the tears.

Quoted:


Easy target or fun to give you hell over? You pick.
 

Quoted:
yo yo yo....you better check yourself!!
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd245/trevoramestoy/AR15/glock.jpg
hehehe

Quoted:
All 3  4 of the above posts,

Thank you gentlemen, have a nice night.  

Quoted:


Sorry, but that picture's too dark to see what's happening.

Quoted:


Look in the upper middle...there is a cool as Glock pointed at the camera...makes me feel Gangsta!

Quoted:







Look in the upper middle...there is a cool ass Glock pointed at the camera...makes me feel Gangsta!

Quoted:


Whoosh!

What was that sound?

That was BK3's terrible joke flying right over LNL's head.


 

Quoted:


Whoosh!

What was that sound?

That was BK3's terrible joke flying right over LNL's head.


 

Quoted:
Damn, wasn't trying to be funny! Blind hog, acorns and all that shit...
Not everyone was born a f'ing comedian like Fried Guy...

Quoted:


You forgot Galil and the new kel-tec shotgun!!!!! ya, ya, do those next!!!!!! This thread is freakin hilarious!!!!!