So I am about 5 weeks away from having a finalized divorce and we haven't come to agreement on whether to use FOTC for support payments. I have had a good friend and my Lawyer both recommend not to use it if I can get my soon to be ex-wife to agree to it. Stating it is a large over burdened beaurocracy and that it doesn't work the way it should. She wants it to protect her, I don't because I hate having people be able to take money away from me without my control.

Can any of you MI ARF.comers lend any personal experience?

Thanks guys,
Bunk

Well I work in and around the courts every day from the cases I see the guys say its better to use FOTC As the X usually ends up saying that they don't get paid. If you are paying FOC they have a record of it all. They will tell you what you must pay eather way you go. Its too bad but she has you by the short hairs all ready ,they allways win  Good Luck

Just my opinion but since you are faced with TFOTC there are kids involved.  Regardless of what feelings there are between you and the X remember that what happens is supposed to be in the best interest of the kids.  I'm NOT lecturing and I know it blows.  In the long run, do what is required and what you can morally and ethically live with, then regardless of what crap she pulls you maintain the high ground and have done what is right for your kids.

Scoutmaster, maybe you can answer this question for me. It may just be my ignorance on the subject, but here is my fear:
I have 3 kids and currently my wife is a student planning to have a job next Fall.  So there will be many changes to the amount of child and spousal support in the not too distant future.  I fear that FOTC will not react quickly to any changes in the support levels that will come about by changes in employment/kids turning 18/etc.  I foresee us determining the support should change due to one of the life events I've noted, but then FOTC not changing the support for weeks or months due to their own inertia.
Maybe I am just being naive.

Any thoughts?

Bunk

Rocketman-
Yup, 3 kids. Thankfully this has been an amicable split so far, and we both realize we have to keep it that way for the sake of the kids.  

Bunk

Quoted: Scoutmaster, maybe you can answer this question for me. It may just be my ignorance on the subject, but here is my fear: I have 3 kids and currently my wife is a student planning to have a job next Fall.  So there will be many changes to the amount of child and spousal support in the not too distant future.  I fear that FOTC will not react quickly to any changes in the support levels that will come about by changes in employment/kids turning 18/etc.  I foresee us determining the support should change due to one of the life events I've noted, but then FOTC not changing the support for weeks or months due to their own inertia. Maybe I am just being naive. Any thoughts? Bunk

from my experience in this, your are correct, there very quick to raise your support payments, and super slow to not even lowering it

Quoted: Scoutmaster, maybe you can answer this question for me. It may just be my ignorance on the subject, but here is my fear: I have 3 kids and currently my wife is a student planning to have a job next Fall.  So there will be many changes to the amount of child and spousal support in the not too distant future.  I fear that FOTC will not react quickly to any changes in the support levels that will come about by changes in employment/kids turning 18/etc.  I foresee us determining the support should change due to one of the life events I've noted, but then FOTC not changing the support for weeks or months due to their own inertia. Maybe I am just being naive. Any thoughts? Bunk

The FOC doesn't do anything for you.  If you want to initiate a support hearing you fill out a form and pay the $25 to get it started.

IM me if you have specific questions, as I pay child support for (2) kids ands it is through the FOC.

I love my son, and I don't mind paying support, it is my responsibility, but the level of support should be comensutrate with the supporters wage.

Avoid the FoC if you can.

They are not your friend. They don't give a rats ass about the non-custodial parent. On top of that, a portion of the money taken from you goes to pay for their ineffective bloated beuracracy.

If you can reach an agreement with your x, do it. If she is afraid of getting screwed, she can go to the FoC at anytime down the road if she wants to. Make sure you pay her with a check, and keep the records. If she decides to go to the FoC and squeal about not being paid, you'll have the records to back it up, and she will look like an ass to the courts.

The FoC is a nightmare.

I was ordered to pay close to $700/month for one child when I had an income of just over 2k per month (before taxes).

When I got out of the Marine corps, I was out of work for 6 months, and unable to pay the support. When I finally did get a job, my income was cut in half. The FoC came after me for what I was paying, plus the back support I had not been able to pay for the previous 6 months. My check was garnished and I was being left with $50/week after working 40 hours. I begged and pleaded with the FoC for a review. I lost nearly everything. I was kicked out of my apartment, but not before all the utilities were cut off, my car insurance was cancelled, and I nearly lost my truck. I was selling off guns left and right, and became a known face at the pawn shop just to keep food on my plate, and gas in my car so I could keep going to work to earn just over $1/hr.

The FoC dragged their feet for 6 months before I got a review. My income was cut by 60%, but they only lowered my support by 40%, and refused to give me credit for the time I was unemployed, and would not make the lowered payments retroactive to the time my income went down, so all that extra $ was gone forever.

My son's mother, until very recently made it very difficult for me to see my boy. I complained to the FoC about enforcing my visitation rights, but they wouldn't budge.

Pardon my language, but FoC does not stand for "Friend of the Court" it stands for "Friend of the Cunt."

Quoted: Avoid the FoC if you can. They are not your friend. They don't give a rats ass about the non-custodial parent. Pardon my language, but FoC does not stand for "Friend of the Court" it stands for "Friend of the Cunt."

So very true....

F@#K!  You guys are supposed to be making me feel better.

So, is there ANY shred of a benefit for HER if we don't use FOC, like she'll get her money quicker if I send her funds electronically, rather than waiting for FOC to send her money?  I am a standup guy and have every intention of paying her what she's due on time.  What can I use to try and convince her that FOC is bad for US, not just me? Is there anything?

Thanks
Bunk

Quoted: F@#K!  You guys are supposed to be making me feel better. So, is there ANY shred of a benefit for HER if we don't use FOC, like she'll get her money quicker if I send her funds electronically, rather than waiting for FOC to send her money?

Yes, she will get the $ quicker. Not only that, but she will get every dime you pay.

If you pay the FoC, they take it from you on payday (right out of your check), and your x will not see it for up to three weeks (ussually 2). They also take out "administrative costs" before they pass the $ along.

Quoted: Yes, she will get the $ quicker. Not only that, but she will get every dime you pay.

+1.

They take the money out of my check on a timely basis, but the ex doesn't get it quick.

Sometimes her check is smaller than normal.  She bitches at me about that, I tell her.... you decided to use the FOC so go whine to them.  

YMMV

Quoted: F@#K!  You guys are supposed to be making me feel better.

Sorry Brother.

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