Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection,
make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
the
Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky....not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you shove them down the
stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of
nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as
to
where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe
we
should put the Department of
Agriculture in charge of immigration.

It's funny cause it's true

Personally I like #10 best.

Quoted: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department ofAgriculture in charge of immigration.

Because they wouldn't taste as good on a Kaiser Roll?

Here here!!  

Quoted: Quoted: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department ofAgriculture in charge of immigration. Because they wouldn't taste as good on a Kaiser Roll?

That's not right.