to the good ole days when you paid for your mistakes when you made them?

About 3-4 months ago, my son had the biggest brainfart.....him and another young lad dicided that the windows in this business needed broke and they broke them.

I offered to pay 1/2 of the damages at the time they were being fixed......they would never give me an amount to pay. I wondered why....

Well ,today we got to go to Juvenile Affairs. I think I am more nervous about this than my son.
And the BS about it is, the other kids parent is a drunk, worthless POS ...... I have been told that since I have a job that I will probably have to pay for all of it and take the drunk to small claims court to get the other half back.

Is your son old enough to have a part time job?  

he is 14.

Just got back....it was an intake meeting. We were let know what could happen.

Seems the hold up was that there are 2 kids with close names and they wanted to make sure they got the right crime with the right kid.

After it happened (3-4 months ago) we were told by the PD that the owner of the business would probably let him work it off, after school and Saturdays. Not the case here.

Oh well. we wait.....

At least he can mow lawns in the summer if you live somewhere near a city.  If HE ends up having to pay for ALL of it, then he learns a good life lesson.  I have a 10 year old and am just waiting until he has a brain fart too...........

I have thought of all kinds of ways for him to pay it off..........all but mowing,good call.

Back a couple months ago.......
After my son wrote his statement down the cop asked me if I would like to take him home or leave him there till court Monday morning(this was Saturday night) I took him home with me......I have been told I should have left him there to sweat it out. What would you do

I have been told I should have left him there to sweat it out. What would you do

Having some experience with law enforcement as a Deputy here are my thoughts...If he's a good kid generally, pretty straight that just made a bad judgment call, I wouldn't leave him!  He would probably end up housed with kids who are really messed up, and the lessons learned probably wouldn't be the ones you want.  If he's a bad kid, I would let him cool his heels in the Juvenile Facility.

I'd just pay for the damages outright to satisfy the owner, then I'd give him very little free time to make a mistake, because he'd be working hard after school, on weekends and during the summer, to pay me back for what it cost me,  of course my father would have done it the same way, except he'da beat my ass when it happened and then everytime he thought of it thereafter,

both my parents were very strict on us kids, they told up if we ever got caught stealing, they'd cut our fingers off and break our arm, and if we ever got picked up by the police, then we had better have enough cash to get out on our own, because they wouldn't come bail us out if we called, don't realy know if they'd done what they told us or if it was a bluff, but knowing how the reacted at other things, I wasn't going to call their bluff.

Quoted: I'd just pay for the damages outright to satisfy the owner, then I'd give him very little free time to make a mistake, because he'd be working hard after school, on weekends and during the summer, to pay me back for what it cost me,  of course my father would have done it the same way, except he'da beat my ass when it happened and then everytime he thought of it thereafter, both my parents were very strict on us kids, they told up if we ever got caught stealing, they'd cut our fingers off and break our arm, and if we ever got picked up by the police, then we had better have enough cash to get out on our own, because they wouldn't come bail us out if we called, don't realy know if they'd done what they told us or if it was a bluff, but knowing how the reacted at other things, I wasn't going to call their bluff.

+1

Since it has gone as far as it has there might be more costs....court cost, probation costs.

I was all for paying 1/2 right after it happened to get it behind us. But the owner wouldn't contact me, I only talked to the manager of the place.

Hopefully we can get by with 18 months probation and some comm. service and 1/2 the cost for the windows.

I think it'll all depend on what county your in, and what judge you draw, some people I know son caught a house on fire playing with fireworks when he was 12, he got 3 years probation, and since the other kid that was with him mom was unable to pay, they ended up having to pay for everything, property damage, court cost, lawyer, court ordered counciling and to some kinda victims compinsation fund, other kid got 5 yrs probation,

same thing for a couple of dudes I know, they got caught stealing a car and joy riding in high school, the one with a job had to pay out the ass(about 10k), the other just got probation, the cost is always going to go to the one with the most resources, the victim always wants their compinsation at one time, and if it isn't a excessive amount then the court will assign it to the one with the most available resources and let them hash it out with the other offender for repayment.

its a shitty deal, but thats how I've seen it work in clev. co.

The case worker, I guess that is what she is, said that the judge is a fair one and don't mind splitting up the bill if the damage has been fixed.

was also told that if there were more kids over in my town that were bad that they would get a kinda workshop going for them.......kinda sounds like they need some kids to be bad for me not to drive so farhonestly

raising kids is a tough thing man probably the hardest job in the world to try to do correctly....

as far a leaving your kid in juvy it's too late now anyway ..... but i tend to agree with wingman for the simple reason i ran with a bad crowd when i was young and you would be amazed at how fast it can rub off and what you can learn.......however if it were my son he would be convinced beyond a doubt that anything like this in the future will bring down a wrath like he's never witnessed before....

i made the mistake of having the po po show up at the house one time.... i was around 9 .... my old man beat the shit out of me not a whooping i mean he beat the hell out of me.......told me if the cops ever came back to the house he'd kill me....... i took him at his word police never came to the house again......don't get me wrong i wouldn't wish what i got on any kid but i'm not sure them thinking it was going to happen would be such a bad thing?????

the best advice i can give you is really whatch who your kid's runing with....you wouldn't beleive the shit that i learned from other kids........remember i said the police never came back to the house
never said they didn't have a reason to i was just real lucky i never got caught again......

I know the whole money thing sucks ......... but the most important thing is to try to guide your kid towards the right path......

i cant stress the whole who he's running with thing enough..........for the simple reason i was one of a few in the group that i ran with that didn't wind up in the pen or dead ........ that may sound a little overly paranoid but one of the kids i ran with got shot dead at age 11~  it was ruled and accident...... but to this day i'm not convinced .... the kid that did the shooting was the meanest kid i've ever known.....

Quoted: raising kids is a tough thing man probably the hardest job in the world to try to do correctly.... as far a leaving your kid in juvy it's too late now anyway ..... but i tend to agree with wingman for the simple reason i ran with a bad crowd when i was young and you would be amazed at how fast it can rub off and what you can learn.......however if it were my son he would be convinced beyond a doubt that anything like this in the future will bring down a wrath like he's never witnessed before.... i made the mistake of having the po po show up at the house one time.... i was around 9 .... my old man beat the shit out of me not a whooping i mean he beat the hell out of me.......told me if the cops ever came back to the house he'd kill me....... i took him at his word police never came to the house again......don't get me wrong i wouldn't wish what i got on any kid but i'm not sure them thinking it was going to happen would be such a bad thing????? the best advice i can give you is really whatch who your kid's runing with....you wouldn't beleive the shit that i learned from other kids........remember i said the police never came back to the house never said they didn't have a reason to i was just real lucky i never got caught again...... I know the whole money thing sucks ......... but the most important thing is to try to guide your kid towards the right path...... i cant stress the whole who he's running with thing enough..........for the simple reason i was one of a few in the group that i ran with that didn't wind up in the pen or dead ........ that may sound a little overly paranoid but one of the kids i ran with got shot dead at age 11~  it was ruled and accident...... but to this day i'm not convinced .... the kid that did the shooting was the meanest kid i've ever known.....

Well.....a couple years ago my son spent the night with a friend, the next day they are outside throwing rocks.
Just a little info on my son, at an early age at birthday parties and get togethers the Dads would play catch with him cause he can throw as far as them.
Well, anyways he saw a kid on a bike and threw a rock and knocked the kid off the bike. After that he decides he is in deep shit and better get home and act innocent. So, the little shit starts walking home. He got a good distance away from the people he spent the night with and they came looking for him in their van....when they wanted him to get in the van he told them "that if my Dad finds out about the rock throwing he will beat me". The driver(kids mom) then took him to the PD and labeled me as a child abuser. We had to go to the PD and get him, and they asked a bunch of questions and I told him not to lie and tell the truth. I hadn't spanked his ass in a long time and he knew that.  He told the truth and we got to take the lil turd home.

I was kinda glad that the lady had enough balls to do that, who knows I might have been abusing him.

Quoted: Quoted: raising kids is a tough thing man probably the hardest job in the world to try to do correctly.... as far a leaving your kid in juvy it's too late now anyway ..... but i tend to agree with wingman for the simple reason i ran with a bad crowd when i was young and you would be amazed at how fast it can rub off and what you can learn.......however if it were my son he would be convinced beyond a doubt that anything like this in the future will bring down a wrath like he's never witnessed before.... i made the mistake of having the po po show up at the house one time.... i was around 9 .... my old man beat the shit out of me not a whooping i mean he beat the hell out of me.......told me if the cops ever came back to the house he'd kill me....... i took him at his word police never came to the house again......don't get me wrong i wouldn't wish what i got on any kid but i'm not sure them thinking it was going to happen would be such a bad thing????? the best advice i can give you is really whatch who your kid's runing with....you wouldn't beleive the shit that i learned from other kids........remember i said the police never came back to the house never said they didn't have a reason to i was just real lucky i never got caught again...... I know the whole money thing sucks ......... but the most important thing is to try to guide your kid towards the right path...... i cant stress the whole who he's running with thing enough..........for the simple reason i was one of a few in the group that i ran with that didn't wind up in the pen or dead ........ that may sound a little overly paranoid but one of the kids i ran with got shot dead at age 11~  it was ruled and accident...... but to this day i'm not convinced .... the kid that did the shooting was the meanest kid i've ever known..... Well.....a couple years ago my son spent the night with a friend, the next day they are outside throwing rocks. Just a little info on my son, at an early age at birthday parties and get togethers the Dads would play catch with him cause he can throw as far as them. Well, anyways he saw a kid on a bike and threw a rock and knocked the kid off the bike. After that he decides he is in deep shit and better get home and act innocent. So, the little shit starts walking home. He got a good distance away from the people he spent the night with and they came looking for him in their van....when they wanted him to get in the van he told them "that if my Dad finds out about the rock throwing he will beat me". The driver(kids mom) then took him to the PD and labeled me as a child abuser. We had to go to the PD and get him, and they asked a bunch of questions and I told him not to lie and tell the truth. I hadn't spanked his ass in a long time and he knew that.  He told the truth and we got to take the lil turd home. I was kinda glad that the lady had enough balls to do that, who knows I might have been abusing him.

Disclaimer::::::::: my advice is worth just exactly what you payed for it ......

     is it against the law to whip your kid in OK       ........ guess where i'm going with that

on top of that i can tell you whatever his favorite thing to do was be it riding a bike video games whatever.... he wouldn't be doing it for a while.........

i often compare raising kids with training a dog...... if you wait till a dog is 3 yrs old to try and teach him not to jump on you see how long it takes compared to when he was a pup......kids are the same way you wait till ones 14 and your damn near fighting a loosing battle.....

don't take any offense Dodgeballz cause theirs none meant at all.... it sounded like you were asking for advice so i gave mine...... again it's worth just what you paid for it.......

and just so you know i've got a little girl whos about to turn 2 that makes rattle snakes and coppermoccasins tremble when they hear her coming......... she acts just like her mom

don't take shit way to serious cause kids are going to do shit wrong very few are perfect from the
word go..........

I do have good kids, they just have some bad friends that get bored too easy.

He was grounded from everything but basketball practice and games. And every now and then he plays Runescape. I let him do things while his Mom is at work ....she has a great memory and never forgets thats he is grounded.

No offense taken, I agree with you 100% and thanks for replying