Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
BCM
User Panel

Posted: 1/29/2010 10:16:58 AM EDT
Favorite email from Mom this week.

In case you haven't heard this yet, some advice from my financial
consultant:

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will probably receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I'll explain it by using a
Q&A format:

 Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
 A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 Q.  Where will the government get this money?
 A.  From taxpayers.

 Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
 A.  Only a smidgen of it.

 Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?
 A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV, thus stimulating the economy.

 Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
 A.  Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

*  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to
China or Sri Lanka.
*  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
*  If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.
*  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras
and Guatemala.
*  If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
*  If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
*  If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it  will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

 1)  Spending it at yard sales, or
 2)  Going to ball games, or
 3)  Spending it on prostitutes, or
 4)  Beer or
 5)  Tattoos.

 (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)


CONCLUSION:  Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met
at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help!
Link Posted: 1/29/2010 10:42:16 AM EDT
[#1]




Read, Copied, Pasted, stolen, re-posted.
Link Posted: 1/30/2010 8:55:47 AM EDT
[#2]
love it.......your mom sounds like a cool gal
Link Posted: 1/30/2010 9:06:53 AM EDT
[#3]
got it.
Link Posted: 1/30/2010 9:59:13 AM EDT
[#4]







Actually, the prostitutes are probably women who have been kidnapped from other countries, the "American beer" you're drinking has probably already been bought out by China, and make sure that yard sale you're going to isn't at your friendly illegal immigrant neighbor's house or it will go straight into their anchor baby college fund.



But go ahead and get a tattoo and season tickets to the ball game. lol
Link Posted: 1/30/2010 10:09:52 AM EDT
[#5]
Wait a minute...



Prostitute, likely russian

Budweiser, owned by Inbev, a Belgian company

Mariners, owned by Nintendo, a Japanese company



Looks like the Tattoo is the only thing safe here...
Link Posted: 1/30/2010 10:41:14 AM EDT
[#6]
*  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to


China or Sri Lanka.




Not if you only buy ammo, deoderant and toilet paper
*  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.




Only 25% of our oil come from the Middle East, and some of them are Persians.


*  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras


and Guatemala.








Local country fruit stand, big box check the tag.
*  If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.







Our market isnt totally dead yet, but I agree in spirit most Americans spend their money with no regards for their own financial best interest, and can rationalize the forsing shit they buy, or their lack of concern for our own economy.








Link Posted: 1/30/2010 10:51:53 AM EDT
[#7]
Spend money on tattoos and be "patriotic".....?

That's what I am getting from this....

I can do that!!!


Link Posted: 1/30/2010 12:21:40 PM EDT
[#8]
That's BS.

Some of the money goes to those places, but only after it goes through the American corporations you are buying from. Only after it goes to support your neighbors who work at WalMart, the local gas station, Best Buy, Albertsons, Safeway and the local car dealer. If you don't pay off your credit cards you are still a slave to your job, and if you don't invest in stocks or savings you aren't going to be able to take care of yourself when you get older and will end up being a burden on the rest of us.

It is time to realize that this is a global economy and your money is going to end up in all kinds of different places. The reason why we have such a high standard of living is that we have outsourced production of products to those who can make them more cheaply than Americans and our workers have moved on to better jobs. This is how things work –– just ask the buggy whip workers

Protectionism does not work. Cheaper goods allows me to have a higher standard of living than my parents did, allows me to save more money towards retirement, and allows me to spend more on things that matter to me. It also helps improve those countries that are now making those products. The money that ends up there improves their lives as well, and that is a good thing.
Link Posted: 1/30/2010 3:06:32 PM EDT
[#9]
Quoted:
Favorite email from Mom this week.

In case you haven't heard this yet, some advice from my financial
consultant:

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will probably receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I'll explain it by using a
Q&A format:

 Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
 A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 Q.  Where will the government get this money?
 A.  From taxpayers.

 Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
 A.  Only a smidgen of it.

 Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?
 A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV, thus stimulating the economy.

 Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
 A.  Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

*  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to
China or Sri Lanka.
*  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
*  If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.
*  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras
and Guatemala.
*  If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
*  If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
*  If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it  will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

 1)  Spending it at yard sales, or
 2)  Going to ball games, or
 3)  Spending it on prostitutes, or
 4)  Beer or
 5)  Tattoos.

 (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)


CONCLUSION:  Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met
at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help!


Thats great!  Mind if I copy and paste it on anothe site?
Link Posted: 1/30/2010 3:10:00 PM EDT
[#10]




Quoted:





Thats great! Mind if I copy and paste it on anothe site?


$5 says his mom copied and pasted it from somewhere else.  Oh, and 1GR would shit a baby if he knew you quoted the OP.

Link Posted: 1/30/2010 3:44:09 PM EDT
[#11]
Its been making the rounds, I've seen it from multiple sources.

Link Posted: 1/31/2010 2:30:25 PM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:
It is time to realize that this is a global economy and your money is going to end up in all kinds of different places. The reason why we have such a high standard of living is that we have outsourced production of products to those who can make them more cheaply than Americans and our workers have moved on to better jobs. This is how things work


Link Posted: 1/31/2010 6:44:30 PM EDT
[#13]
Link Posted: 1/31/2010 6:54:41 PM EDT
[#14]
Close Join Our Mail List to Stay Up To Date! Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.


By signing up you agree to our User Agreement. *Must have a registered ARFCOM account to win.
Top Top