The best thing you can do is ask for advice about a given part or accessory. The replies will tell you if it's worth having or not. The bigger problem is that you'll find that most of the items recommended the most tend to be somewhat (and in a few cases, VERY) expensive. The reason for this is NOT because the people who have them are being snobbish, but because those people have ALL bought the cheaper stuff before, convinced that they were "saving money" and that those parts/accessories would be "good enough", and then later found that not to be the case.
Sure, an ACOG or Surefire M900 are EXPENSIVE, but you will get from them a level of performance and design that you just can't get with lesser products, and these products will LAST under tough use, where many others will fail, always at the worst possible moment.
None of us likes to see a fellow AR15.com member get screwed or have to replace something they paid good money for, and most folks here will steer you clear of that if you let them.
-Troy